In a Book Club Far Away(23)

She also knew what was coming up.

“Marry me when I get back,” he said.

“Jasper.”

“Look, I’m done with this rule you have about us not marrying while I’m still in. I’ve always said that you are first, our girls are first.”

Sophie shook her head, eyes on the floor. At the peeling linoleum in the fifth kitchen she’d lived in since they’d been together. Five kitchens in ten years.

Sophie had been honest from the first day of their relationship. She wasn’t convinced that marriage was necessary. Why did it take a ring and a piece of paper to declare commitment? And she was especially against marrying a man in the military for all the reasons why, despite her support of him, she was unnerved by deployment. There was simply too much upheaval, and she didn’t trust the distance or the stress placed between them time and time again.

“Honey, we can’t have this kind of conversation over the phone,” she said.

“And when would we do it? I’ve tried in person. Look, I’ve been doing some thinking. About us. And I think I’ll be ready to get out soon.”

Sophie’s tongue tied into a pretzel, back going ramrod straight.

“You’ve given up your job and career, and here I am losing time with my girls.…”

Her heart beat hard and loud, in anticipation of the words she had been waiting for him to say for a decade though she had never demanded.

“Soph, as soon as I’m done with this deployment, I’m out. I’m out, and we can get married, and we will live in one place and have our happily-ever-after.”





CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Regina




“Happily-ever-afters are lies. All lies.” Regina threw a handful of popcorn at the television as the credits for Notting Hill scrolled up. Her voice cracked above the volume of the television, which she had set to the surround-sound speakers, and she leaned her head against the back of the couch. She wiped her cheeks with the palm of her hand.

From her periphery she saw the shadow of, well, Shadow. The cat sat just inches from her head and stared at her.

“Okay, yes, I’m crying because it was good. But that doesn’t mean it’s believable. Were they really compatible in the end? She was an actress, and he was a bookstore owner. How does that work, when the two of them are on obviously different tracks in life?”

Shadow responded by lying down; her tail whipped an objection.

“It’s all about expectations. They have different expectations. It won’t last.”

Hearing herself saying these words, Regina threw herself off the couch. Her thoughts were meandering toward morose again. She approached the tower of DVDs and scanned the spines for another title. Except everything they owned was either a romantic comedy (her stash) or a war movie (Logan’s), and the thought of watching anyone in a uniform in physical harm gave her nausea.

“Okay. How about Fifty First Dates? That’s neutral, right?” She looked back at Shadow, who had taken her place on the couch cushion amid a fleece blanket and her favorite teddy bear, and was now writhing on her back. “No? When Harry Met Sally?”

Shadow had nothing to say, not even a purr. And it was just as well, because this darkness, the loneliness of movies and stale popcorn and her pajamas on the weekend, was now the essence of her life. Scratch that, the cat was probably sick of her, knowing that for the next nine months they would essentially remain in this state of limbo.

She pressed the eject button of the DVD player, and the disk slid out. As she put it away, the doorbell rang.

Regina frowned and straightened. She looked at the door, where shadows appeared in the sliver of light at the bottom. She’d received an email from Logan in the middle of the movie, so it wasn’t an emergency.

“Regina?” A woman’s voice.

“Yoo-hoo.” A different woman’s voice, now with knocking.

She glanced at Shadow and rolled her eyes. There were only two women she kept in touch with besides her mother.

She looked down at her disheveled pajamas. Touched the messy bun on her head.

Nope.

There was no way she was letting anyone in. She shuffled to the door and leaned closer to it. “She’s not in.”

Cackles ensued on the other side of the wood.

“For cryin’ out loud, Regina! We heard Elvis Costello coming up the stairs. That last song in Notting Hill is iconic,” Adelaide declared. “Open the dang door.”

Regina growled. She even stomped her foot. Yes, she liked these women and she’d allowed them to get a little close, but that didn’t mean they could just show up anytime. Then again, combined, Adelaide and Sophie could outlast the deployment itself; there would be no use fighting it. So, Regina opened the door wide and without looking at the women gestured them in.

Adelaide stepped in first, followed by Sophie. Both smelled good, which meant that Regina probably didn’t. But she held on to her pride and crossed her arms. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s dark in here.” Sophie flipped on the lights.

“Hey!” Regina squinted against the brightness.

The curtains flew open. The windows creaked upward.

“Seriously, both of you? What is this? This is embarrassing.” Her mind wandered to her dirty laundry. Had she put it away? Oh God, her sink was full of dishes. She rushed to the kitchen, to where Sophie had beaten her and was already clearing the counters of wrappers and containers from the last couple, or few, days.