If Ever(73)

“I’m fine. It’s nice to lay around after this last crazy couple of weeks.”

He returns with a dish of chocolate-covered frozen banana bites.

“That reminds me. I have an appointment with my voice coach and then a meeting tomorrow.”

I do a double take. “You take voice lessons?”

“All the time.” He pops a frozen treat in his mouth and offers me one.

I help myself. “Why? You’re voice is perfection.”

He kisses my forehead, his lips cool, then slides his arm around me. I snuggle in with my head in the crook of his neck. “I need to keep my voice in shape. A professional athlete practices almost daily to stay at the top of his game. It’s the same for singers.”

“I had no idea.”

I snuggle in with my head in the crook of his neck. I take a bite of the chocolate-covered treat. Interesting. Not what I'd normally go for, but not bad. "So, tell me. Are there any dream roles you have?"

"You mean like Hamlet or Willie Loman?"

"Those are your dream roles?"

He laughs. "No. My tastes are much less sophisticated. Rather embarrassing, actually."

I sit up and face him. "Now you have to tell me."

He smiles and shakes his head. "Rock of Ages."

I've seen the movie and try to imagine him in it. "What part?"

"I want to play an eighties rocker with the big hair and leather pants."

"Huh." I don't want to burst his bubble, but I don't see him in a role like that.

He throws his hands in the air. "See, that's the reaction I got from my agent, too. Sean said I was too British, too boy next door. I begged him to send me on auditions for months until I finally wore him down."

"And how'd it go?" I ask skeptically, because I agree with his agent. Tom is many things, but I don't see him as a hardcore rocker.

He looks down and his face turns pink. "It was a train wreck. I'm standing up their doing my best Axl Rose, and you should have seen their faces. It was kind of a mix between disbelief and thinking it was a joke. After I left the room, they burst out laughing."

"You didn't get the part?"

"Not even a damned call back, and I would have been so good."

"Poor baby." I fight to keep from laughing.

"I don't need your pity too," he says fighting a smile.

"There are lots of things I feel for you, but pity is not one of them." I set his dish on the coffee table and push him back onto the couch.

"And what are you doing?" His eyes dance in anticipation as I crawl on top of him.

"I wouldn't want you to feel bad." I kiss his neck from collarbone up to his earlobe where I lightly nibble. "Is that okay?"

His arms go around me and pull my hips against his. "Absolutely."





25





"Morning, Ryan. Want some scrambled eggs?" I ask from the kitchen the next morning as Tom plays guitar softly in the living room. Ryan rubs his eyes and glances at the food I'm preparing. "Yeah, if you have enough." He grabs the Kinky Boots mug from the cupboard and pours his coffee. Apparently it's a tradition that anyone who lives here must leave a mug from a show they've been in.

"Absolutely." I start cracking eggs into a frying pan with no idea how much two Broadway performers eat. Making breakfast is one of the few things I've thought of to help out around the apartment.

Ryan drops onto the couch. "Your girlfriend is making me breakfast. I vote she stays."

Tom casts me an approving smile and winks.

"Ryan, you're too easy," I tease.

"Don't I know it? Another top issue with my therapist." He blows on his coffee before sipping.

Tom takes up the guitar from its stand, sits on the couch and strums softly. "Any luck with auditions?"

"Nah, I get called back two or three times and then cut on the final round. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's not you."

"Am I already too old at twenty-five? Have I lost my touch? Maybe I should grow my hair out or lose some weight."

"Dude, you know none of that will make a difference. It just hasn't been the right timing."

It's impossible not to eavesdrop. I add shredded cheese into the bubbling egg mixture.

"Well, I'm running out of time. I've been thinking about getting a grownup job."

The strumming stops. "I hate to see you do that. Can't you hang in there for a while?"

"I've been living on hopes and dreams for almost two years with nothing to show for it. I can't do it much longer."

Tom starts playing again, filling the room with a cool, acoustic vibe. We're all in our own thoughts as I finish scrambling the eggs and set out a bowl of fresh fruit. "Come and get it," I call.

Tom puts away the guitar and joins Ryan who's already grabbing a plate.

"This smells amazing," Ryan says, loading up.

Tom stands so Ryan can't see that his hands are on my behind, lightly groping me through my yoga pants. "Sure does."

I let him have his fun, mostly because it feels damn good, and I like the crooked smile on his face. We grab spots in the living room and eat.