If Ever(12)

"Talk about the first day of school all over again," I say to Anna as I climb out of my car and approach the official Celebrity Dance Off rehearsal building. Now that a couple people are off the show, Dominic and I get to join the rest of the cast.

"You're one of the cool kids now too," she laughs.

But I don't feel or look like one of them. I enter the two-story building and show my ID to the security guy. Apparently on occasion they have overzealous fans try to sneak in, and as it's my first day here, he'd have no idea who I am if it weren't for the list on his clipboard.

Inside there is a well-lit hallway with a changing area off to one side and a break room with fresh snacks, a microwave, and full-size fridge off to the other. Muffled music sounds from behind a couple of closed doors and arguing from another. I peek through the narrow window and see Shane, the young Olympic diver getting dressed down by pro Cassie, a redheaded fireball who I'd never want to cross.

Each room I pass is occupied, and still no Dominic. I glance in another window. Hank is saying something to Sonya that makes her laugh.

At the end of the hall I find Dominic on his phone in a common area with a couch, recliners, and large plants. He waves and finishes his call. "You found it."

"This place is a lot different than where we were rehearsing before," I say, admiring the bright lighting and fresh paint.

"Yeah, it's Cadillac. You ready for some quick step?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Upstairs in an open rehearsal room, our producer and cameraman are deep into a bag of sugared doughnuts. I set my bag next to the wall and soak up the cheery room. One wall is covered in mirrors, the opposite with windows overlooking the parking lot. The polished wood floors gleam in the natural light.

Dominic connects his phone to the Wi-Fi for our music. "As long as you're willing to try your best, we'll have a fighting chance."

"I'm ready." I step into the middle of the room, eager to dive in.

But it turns out I'm not ready at all. After two hours of stumbling and swearing at my own ineptness over the intricate steps, Dominic admits the quick step is one of the more difficult dances for a beginner to learn. Unlike our short tempers from the first few weeks though, we're actually laughing, mostly at my screw ups, but it's a relief to relax and have some fun.

The days fly by, rehearsals, meetings for costumes, concept, and set design. At Anna’s urging, I finally bite the bullet and go shopping for the latest in cute dance clothes.

At night, I practice every last toe point, arm position, and frame hold. First I type up the moves on my laptop so I don't forget, then mark through the steps repeatedly until my brain knows them inside and out. I may not be a dancer, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best to fake it. I've learned one thing in life, and it's that if you want something, you have to work your ass off to get it.

Before dropping into bed each night, I kick back with my e-reader and put something other than dance steps in my brain. Anna calls a lot to make sure I'm not losing my mind or becoming a total hermit in my Hollywood hideaway, but so far all I've lost is two toenails from my aching feet.

Suddenly it's Monday again and we're huddled backstage waiting for our entrance. I'm wearing a frothy, ankle-length dress. I've survived my first spray tan where I stripped down so a complete stranger could spray chemicals over every nook and cranny of my pale skin. Dominic is dapper wearing a dark suit. He got the better end of the deal.

I shake out my hands as if that will release my nerves. My heart is pounding, but with excitement and not the terrible dread I've felt in the past. I tug at my bodice, wishing I could cover the plunging neckline. The dress is backless, leaving me bare and feeling every bit of cool air as someone walks past.

"I feel half naked."

"Nah, just enough to keep the viewers happy. Trust me, the more skin you show, the better our scores will get."

I shake my head. If that's the truth, how pathetic.

Dominic speaks softly as we're introduced. "You've done the work, now let's go out there and have fun." He takes my hand and leads us to our starting position. "Smiling is good too," he adds with a grin.

I force an awful, toothy grin.

"Okay, not if it's like that." He cringes, and I laugh.

Marcus introduces us, the music starts, and we're off. Dominic feeds me each move, but I've practiced this number so many times, I dream about it at night.

We whip across the dance floor and it doesn't take more than a few measures before I realize I'm enjoying myself. I glance at Dominic and he smiles back, twirling me into the next sequence. From that moment, everything clicks. We're a team, flying through the fast moves of the quickstep, adding the personal flair that Dominic is known for in his dances, we dip and spin and play off each other. I miff a couple of steps, but don't care. My gorgeous dress floats around me like a cloud.

When we finish, I realize I'd forgotten for a moment that there was an audience. "Wow, that was fun!" I yell over the audience applause, my heart pounding with joy.

He laughs. "That's how it's supposed to be."

We join Marcus to face the judges. Dominic's arm goes around my waist and he hugs me as we hear our remarks. This time it seems normal and not awkward.

"That's what I've been talking about! We saw chemistry and personality," says, Nikki LaFlash.