I Was Told It Would Get Easier(19)

Then my phone rang and I had to step outside to take a work call and ended up on the phone for forty minutes while everyone else ate. I should have fully, openly quit for real, then maybe I’d get ten minutes of peace to completely freak out. As it was, I had to fit panic attacks in around everything else, which wasn’t the best way of doing it.





6





EMILY


I swear to god I’ll be graduating college and Mom will be on a call. I watched her nervously through the window at first, but it was clearly the office; she looked base-level stressed and didn’t throw any accusing glances my way. She’d missed pretty much everything I did in elementary school because of work, and although I totally support her, girl power and all that, it’s irritating. She complains about her work all the time, too, so I can’t help noticing I’m coming second to something she doesn’t even like. She came back into the restaurant when we were all done, and it was just as well I’d saved half my sandwich for her. Sometimes she forgets to eat, she’s so busy saving the world with the power of the law, or whatever it is she’s doing when she’s walking back and forth talking on the phone. When she took the sandwich I noticed she’d started picking at the skin on her fingers again, a nervous habit I thought she’d gotten over. Adults are so messed up.

After lunch we all took the Metro to Foggy Bottom to visit George Washington University. For some reason my mother finds the name Foggy Bottom hilarious, and I had to use my Bitchy Voice to get her to stop making stupid jokes. She’s such a child.

This time the kid showing us around was nicer, and for a moment I tried to imagine myself playing Frisbee under the cherry blossoms. It didn’t work, and suddenly Alice appeared, like a lion creeping up on a limping antelope or whatever.

“This is boring,” she said. “Are you even interested in GWU?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if college is what I want to do.”

Alice was surprised. “Why not? It’s four years where your parents pay for you to sleep in and party. Who wouldn’t want to do that?”

I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. “Well, I think the schools actually want you to work as well, Alice.”

Her expression changed. “Oh . . . don’t you have good grades? I hear community college is a good alternative.” She tried on a tone of supportive enthusiasm, which suited her about as well as a party hat suits a rhinoceros.

Nice try, but I shook my head. “My grades are fine. I don’t like school.”

“No one likes school, Emily.” Alice checked her phone absently. It was almost like blinking. “Besides, my mom says college is way more fun.”

“I thought she didn’t go to college.”

“She didn’t, but I’ve never dated a movie star and I still know it would be fun.”

I decided not to waste any more mental energy on Alice’s Guide to College. She’s an idiot.

Alice asked, “Where did your mom sneak off to earlier? Secret boyfriend?”

I gazed at her. “Yeah, she got a match on Tinder.”

Alice giggled. “Can you imagine?”

I shook my head. “No. She had a work call.”

“Oh,” said Alice, losing interest.

The guy leading the tour had stopped to point out the engineering building, and we all concertina’d together again. Engineering buildings all look the same, what’s up with that?

Alice yawned hugely and stared around. She lowered her voice. “Did you hear about Becca and Lucy and that other girl? They got suspended.”

“No,” I lie, “what for?”

Alice shrugged. “Who cares? Bad grades, probably, they’re all dumb as bricks.” She looks over the group of kids. “I think I’m going to try and hook up with the blue-collar guy.”

I frowned. “Will? How do you know he’s blue collar?”

“You knew who I meant, didn’t you? He needs to work through college, doesn’t he? His parents may not have even graduated high school for all we know. I’ve never slept with someone in a different social class, it might be fun.” She fake shivered. “A little rough around the edges, if you know what I mean.”

I shook my head. “You’re an asshole, Alice.”

Alice grinned and nodded. “I know, I’m a terrible person.” Will happened to turn around at that moment and caught us both looking at him. He raised his eyebrows at us and then, when Alice smiled flirtatiously, smiled back. Then Alice did that stupid thing where she looks at the ground and bites her lip, which I guess she thinks is totally hot, so she missed the moment when Will looked at me and briefly rolled his eyes. I laughed but managed to turn it into a cough.

Alice said, “Do you want to bet I can bag him before the end of the week?”

I said, “How on earth, your mom is here, his dad is here, it’s not like we’re going to get a lot of free time.”

Alice snorted. “Are you joking? Did you actually read the itinerary?”

“Uh, no. I leave all that stuff to my mom.” This was a fairly embarrassing admission, and Alice pounced on it.

“How grown up of you,” she said sarcastically. “There are several periods where we can all hang out, only the kids. Side trips, visits to the mall, whatever. It’s totally doable.”