I Was Told It Would Get Easier(15)

“My name is Will, and I would be the first in my family to go to college, so that will have to be my interesting fact.” He was also wearing jeans and a hoodie, but his were cooler than his dad’s. His eyes were less sleepy than his dad’s, sharper. I felt Emily shift next to me, but when I looked over, she was just folding paper.

“That is interesting,” said Cassidy overenthusiastically. “How exciting.”

“I’m not there yet,” said Will calmly. “Don’t jinx me.”

Cassidy laughed uncertainly and moved on. I could feel Emily looking at the boy, who was definitely her type, not that I would ever dare mention that to her. He was the kind of boy who looks like he prefers indie music to sports. She loves a tortured poet, my daughter, bless her inexperienced little heart.

Then it was my turn. I blanked for a moment and then pulled something at random from my dusty brain.

“Hi, my name is Jessica Burnstein, I went to Columbia, which is the last stop on this trip, I think. My interesting fact is that I nearly qualified for the Olympics in 1996. The Atlanta Games.”

“Ooh,” said Cassidy. “The one with the bomb! Which event?”

“Archery,” I said, suddenly wondering if this had been a wise admission. I was sharing a non-fact, a thing that hadn’t actually happened. I might as well have said I nearly got nominated for best original screenplay, but, you know, didn’t (in that case it would have been because I’d never written a screenplay in my life). There were murmurings around the room as everyone made those noises you make when you’re mildly impressed but have no idea what to do with the information you’ve been given. Sort of like a herd of wildebeests muttering about Tupperware. Embarrassed, I quickly added, “But I didn’t make the team at the last minute, so, you know.”

“Well, never mind,” said Cassidy very sympathetically, which made me want to clarify I was totally over it, it hadn’t blighted my life, it’s not like I sat in the dark at night clutching a scotch in one hand and a quiver of arrows in the other, brooding. But it was too late, and now they all thought I was a brokenhearted Katniss Everdeen. I gazed at my lap and hoped Emily would come up with something distracting.





EMILY


Mom had just told everyone she failed to go to the Olympics, which wasn’t weird at all, and then it was my turn. I had literally nothing to say, so I went with that.

“Uh, I’m Emily. I can’t think of anything interesting . . .”

“I can think of something for you,” said Alice, who was sitting a few people down. She smiled her snakiest smile. “She won the good penmanship award at school, three years in a row.” She looked at the really hot boy, the one whose dad didn’t go to college. “She has excellent fine motor skills.” It’s amazing how insulting that can sound.

“Uh . . . neat,” he said, and I heard a hint of mockery in his voice. Please let it be for Alice.

I died. No, literally, my brain shut down and my body started degrading at the cellular level. Why was Alice exposing me in front of these strangers? What the hell did I do to her? And how did she know about the stupid penmanship thing? That happened before she was even at the school, which meant someone told her, which meant she was talking about me behind my back, which of course she was, but it still sucked. I looked at Cassidy, the girl running the thing, praying she would move on.

“Oh, you two know each other from school, of course! How lovely.” She smiled patronizingly at me and said, “Penmanship is such a lost art.” As this is because the need to write by hand is becoming obsolete, I had no response, and thankfully she moved on. Mom leaned over and squeezed my hand.

“I love your handwriting,” she whispered, because occasionally she’s extra like that. I squeezed back but didn’t hold on very long. Sometimes she has so much faith in me it freaks me out. Unconditional love is cool and everything, but not when you suspect you’re unworthy of it.

After pretending to be invisible for a few agonizing minutes, I risked a look across the circle, and the hot boy was totally looking at me. He smiled and raised his hand in his lap to make a peace sign. Maybe I didn’t have to shoot myself after all.





JESSICA


It’s amazing how much I can hate a child. Alice purposely embarrassed Emily, and I would happily reach along the row of chairs and punch her in the throat. If Em came home from school and told me that story, I would have told her to shrug and rise above it, but it’s very hard to rise above an intense desire to protect your cub in the moment. I wouldn’t actually do anything, of course, because that would make Emily go ballistic and also possibly die of mortification, but if I get a chance to trip that little bitch later, I’m simply saying I might.

Oh good, Cassidy’s reached Dani and Alice. Let’s hope they make fools of themselves.

I’m a bad person.

Daniella shook back her hair. She’s the same age as me, maybe even a couple of years older, but she’s much better preserved and professionally tended. She is the wife of a studio magnate, after all.

“My name is Dani. I didn’t go to college, either, because I was working as a model in Europe, so we have that in common!” She was looking at Will’s dad, whose face suggested he thought that would pretty much be it as far as shared experience went, but Dani didn’t seem to notice. She laughed and added, “Maybe I should go now. Alice and I could be roomies!”