Her One Mistake(54)
The ringtone filled my ear, but it rang and rang until eventually it abruptly stopped. “Oh God, where are you?” I cried. None of this was right. He’d told me with such certainty he would always answer my calls and I’d believed him.
It was too late to ask myself why I’d trusted him. I had only known him six months. I had known Brian double that before I married him, and look how wrong I’d been about him.
I slumped down the side of the phone booth, balling my fists and hitting my forehead with the heels of my hands.
The plan to escape Brian had once seemed so certain in my head that even though I knew many things could go wrong, I never expected this. Now it was hanging together by loose pieces of tattered thread and, as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, I knew that not only could my daughter be absolutely anywhere, but it was all my fault.
Monday, July 4, 2016
Brian was given a bonus at work. He’s so excited, says it’s an “overdue payment.” I think it’s embarrassing that he’s never been shown any gratitude for his commitment before, but Brian has been easily mollified with this extra amount.
This morning he announced he wanted to give me a little something so I could treat Alice and myself at the shops. I gasped as I watched him count out twenty-pound notes and slide them into a long, white envelope. It looked much more than a little something.
Brian winked at me as he said he’d put three hundred pounds in the envelope, which he sealed and tucked on top of the fridge. He asked if I’d go shopping today and told me to get whatever I fancied.
I was almost jumping up and down like a little kid. I’d already decided to get myself something and let Alice choose a new outfit, and then we’d go to the toy shop. I even wondered if maybe all we needed was for Brian to be given a boost of confidence at work.
I kissed him good-bye and left him to finish his coffee while I got Alice up and dressed. By the time we came downstairs, Brian had left for the office.
I put the envelope in the inside pocket of my handbag. There was more cash in it than I’d ever had on me, and I was nervous as we walked through the shopping center. I kept a hand over my bag the whole time.
At the counter of the first store, I laid out two jumpers I liked for myself and a pink frilly skirt Alice hadn’t been able to keep her hands off. It was a little big on her, but at the rate she was growing, I knew she would grow into it, and it really was beautiful. Alice couldn’t stop stroking the embroidered birds that ran along its hem, asking if she could show it to Molly later, and I was so happy to see her bubbling with joy.
I told her Molly was at school and that maybe we could show it to Evie, but when I ran my fingers under the seal of the envelope and reached inside, I gasped out loud.
The girl behind the counter stared at me gormlessly, asking if there was a problem.
Yes, there was a big problem. Instead of the three hundred pounds I had watched Brian count out, there was now only a ten-pound note. My cheeks burned as I made some excuse that I would need to come back, and picking up Alice’s hand, I hauled her toward the doors.
Her little feet were hurrying to keep up with me, but I didn’t stop until we were outside. Already her eyes were glistening with tears as she asked me if she wasn’t allowed to have the skirt anymore.
I crouched down and took her hands in mine, giving her the biggest smile my heart would allow. I said I was silly and forgot the money and I promised her—with a hand over my heart, I promised her—that one day I would come back and get that skirt for her.
Monday, August 8, 2016
I told Brian it would be hard to make nice meals every night with my allowance cut down, but he just retorted that I would have to be a little more creative. He grinned at me as he ruffled my hair.
I pulled away, fixing my hair, and asked why we had to budget if things were better at work.
Brian screwed up his nose and sighed deeply, telling me not to use the word budget and that we don’t have money issues. I knew what was coming before he said it—he had to learn to trust me again.
I bit the inside of my lip. I would not rise to the bait. Patiently I told him I need more than what he’s giving me to survive.
Alice already needs new shoes and I need to get her a coat for autumn.
Brian snapped back and asked how I could really expect him to hand over cash when I’d lost three hundred pounds. I pleaded with him that I didn’t lose it, that the money wasn’t in the envelope, but Brian only sighed and said he didn’t want to go through all that again. He said money doesn’t just disappear, and then asked me to keep itemized receipts for everything, and if Alice needs new shoes, then we can both take her on Saturday.
He said it would be fun for us to have a family trip out together when he got back from fishing. Then he reached out and ruffled my hair again.
HARRIET
I sat in my car, staring blankly at the unfamiliar road ahead, my handbag clutched tightly on my lap as I wondered if I had any other options. There was no choice. I had to find the remote hideaway where we’d planned for Alice to go.
From now on I would have to pay for anything I needed in cash, but I was still praying it wouldn’t be long before I knew Alice was safe and I could turn around and go home.
Fear was spurring me on to Cornwall, but I was also filled with dread at what I’d left behind, and the longer I was away the worse it would be.