Head On (Strength And Love)(16)

I sigh, and start to get dressed. I should leave Isla here with Ann, but a masochistic part of me wants her next to me. Her scent driving me crazy. I even kind of like the righteous way she views the world and me. Makes me feel like maybe I can be a better person.

It’s going to be a long night.





Chapter Eight



Isla



I don’t know what to wear. My nerves are shrieking at the thought of having to go into some trendy bar with Ethan, and meet his friends. He says this friend of his might can help us figure out what’s going on. He’s convinced the issue is with someone coming after me or my dad. I’m not. Ethan is an arrogant arsehole who screws married women for money. How he can so easily dismiss the target of the other night being himself is beyond me. He says he’s looked into it, but he can’t have looked that far, or that deep in the short amount of time since the horrible event.

The horrible event I keep thinking about when I’m meant to be sleeping, and then getting all confused and turned on. And that kiss! I’ve never been kissed like that. I might be a virgin, but I’m not some idiot innocent like he seems to think. I’ve messed around with a few boys. Given a few hand jobs, even experienced one boy go down on me, which was okay, but I’m not sure he knew what he was doing. We were both eighteen, and he was a virgin, too. I watch porn and pleasure myself with my trusty vibrator or my g-spot stimulator.

I smile as I imagine Ethan’s shocked face if I tell him the things I get up to sometimes in my bedroom by myself.

The thing is, I may be a virgin, but I probably know what I like and what my body likes more than some girls who’ve been screwing since they were fifteen. I’ve been able to focus on my own pleasure and exploring my own needs, and from what little I hear from my friends, that’s not what happens with most guys. It’s all about them and what they want. About ticking off some stupid checklist where they have to have blow jobs, and then full on sex, and then anal, and then after that God knows what. They use women’s bodies as if they’re with a doll. I blame some of the porn they watch myself. I’ve seen enough of it when I’m surfing for the kind of stuff I like, to know there are plenty of men out there who only want their own satisfaction taken care of. Ethan is probably the same.

I don’t want or need hearts and flowers, but I do want someone who respects me, and wants to make it good for me. My body has been through so much, and I have a bloody healthy respect for it, and that extends to who I let in it. I’m not a virgin because I’m a prude. I’m a virgin because most of the time in my life when I should have been experimenting, I was sick. I’m shy at times, and awkward, so find it hard to meet people. From the small pool I have met, there’s been no one I want enough to go the whole way.

Sadly, the one guy I have met who I want enough is the worst guy I could pick. Sick of going around in circles thinking of Ethan, I start at the knock on the door.

Ann comes in and holds aloft a big, shiny box. It looks like a feminine toolbox. “You said you wanted to try some make-up. You’re going out tonight, why not let me put some on you now? I promise to keep it subtle this first time. I’ve got some clothes you can borrow, too.” She glances at my outfit of an ankle length skirt and t-shirt. “Only if you want. I know you’ll have left most of your stuff at home.”

I smile at her pretending we both don’t know that I don’t have any fashionable clothes at home either.

“Okay. I’d like that.” I know Ethan is bad news, but I still want him to notice me. Want him to see me as something other than a frumpy, na?ve idiot. Why he kissed me I have no clue, but I want him to get the urge to do it again. And then I’ll shoot him down. I’ll be the one to reject him this time.

She comes to sit by me, and opens her shiny toolbox, and my eyes nearly fall out of my head. There’s so much stuff in there. All different colours. Wow. She looks at me and narrows her eyes. “I’m definitely going to go natural with you. You’re gorgeous anyway, too much and it’ll take away from your natural beauty.”

I give a little huff of breath in response to her delusions about my looks, but don’t say anything.

“I think some warm peaches and golds. You’ve got a light tan, and those colours will complement it and bring out your eyes.”

I have no idea what colours would suit me so I merely nod. I’m completely in her hands. She sets to work and I find it oddly soothing. We don’t talk much as she swipes at me with soft brushes and pencils.

After about fifteen minutes, she sits back and eyes me, before grinning wide. “You look fantastic. Take a look.”

She points to the mirror, and I turn to it. Holy crap! I stare, dumbfounded. Who is that girl looking back at me with the cheekbones and the full, pouty mouth? Whereas before my features always made me feel baby faced and childish, now they look womanly and sensual. My eyes are highlighted with a faint wash of gold, there’s a coral gloss on my lips, and warm blush on my cheeks. She’s done something to my brows, maybe brushed them or something, because they are the same colour, but they look more arched.

“How did you give me bone structure? I don’t understand.” I’ve always possessed pudgy baby cheeks.

Ann laughs. “Oh, darling. You’re the perfect canvas. You’re gorgeous. Your skin is a dream. As for the cheekbones, I did a bit of contouring, and then put a dab of highlighter on the top of your cheekbone to reflect the light. She gently moves my head side to side. “See? And don’t be hating on your cheeks. There are women who pay a fortune to get stuff pumped into their face to get the youthful, full look you’ve got going on.”