Head On (Strength And Love)(21)

“You’re on,” I shoot back.

“No fucking way,” Ethan growls. His jokiness suddenly gone.

“Don’t suggest it then, if you’re so against it.” I roll my eyes and take a sip of my drink.

Ethan leans in. “He’s an animal. You need someone to treat you gently the first time.” His voice is low enough I know Luka can’t hear, but I still flush.

I give him what I hope is a pointed look. “You do remember how we met, don’t you? What you do for a living? I hardly think you’re the one to finesse me.”

He smirks at me then, and it twists something deep inside. God, I wish I wasn’t so insanely attracted to him. “Oh, darling. I can do finesse. I don’t only do the breaking and entering routine. One of my clients, she likes me to spend at least half an hour massaging her all over, and then another half an hour worshipping her pussy with my hands and mouth. No rough stuff required.”

I flush at his words. I loathe the word ‘pussy,’ but his dirty talk has me picturing him doing all that to me, and my body responds even if I don’t want it to. “You’re a disgusting pig, and I need the ladies’.”

Trying to be all dignified about it, I get up and head to the other side of the bar, where there’s a sign pointing downstairs for the toilets. I clomp down the stairs, muttering about arrogant, filthy pigs under my breath, head through a heavy door, and turn right into the ladies. There’s no one in and I take a moment to compose myself before heading into the stall. Finished, I reach for the flush when I hear the door opening and the click-clack of heels. I finish up and open the stall door, only to see Selina. Great.

She turns to me and gives a predatory smile. “Hey again.”

“Hi.” I smile at her and feel like a mouse being played with by a cat from the way she’s looking at me.

“So, you’re with Ethan.” She’s says it as if it’s a fact.

“I’m not with him,” I correct. “I know his sister, I’m staying with her.”

“Hhhmmm.”

Not sure what the heck that’s supposed to mean, and not wanting to prompt further conversation, I let it go.

I open my bag, take out the lip gloss Ann insisted I bring, and swipe it over my mouth.

“I’d never have pegged someone like you for his type.”

I sigh and snap my bag shut before turning to face her. I may prefer to avoid confrontation. I may be an introvert, and a bit of a loner, but I’m not weak, and I don’t tolerate idiots too well. You go through what I have in life and it gives you a backbone. “Look, Selina. I know full well who you are and what you are to Ethan. I have no interest in him in the sense that you do. He certainly has no interest in me. So, you can rest assured that once this week is over, you can resume your regularly scheduled services.”

She throws her head back and laughs, and this time it is genuine. When she looks at me her eyes are warmer. “Oh, I like you. But you’re wrong. He is interested in you. It’s written all over his face. He watches you wherever you are in the room. His eyes tracked you all the way across the bar when you came down here, even though that delicious friend of his was talking away to him. I wasn’t being a bitch before. You’re lovely, but I didn’t imagine you as Ethan’s type. I thought he preferred hard-bitten old birds like me.”

I shake my head. “You’re not old. And you’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks. But it’s not my age as such. I’m more than a bit cynical, and so is Ethan. Whereas you look like the most uncynical person going.”

“Looks can be deceiving.” I sometimes think I am far too world weary for my young age. I don’t trust people easily. I don’t connect with them easily. I am sick of my virginity. I’d frankly pay someone to take it from me…I stop mid thought and blink at myself in the mirror. Could I? Should I?

“What?” Selina is watching me.

“Is he good? Ethan, I mean, at what he does?”

She seems taken aback. “Yes, he’s good. But why would someone like you be even considering paying him? You could walk into that bar and get any guy you wanted.”

“I doubt you’d struggle, Selina.”

She smiles at me in the mirror as she wipes a zebra painted nail under one eye, removing a smudge of liner. “I’m married, darling. Discretion is super important to me after an ill-fated fling. And I don’t want any messy feelings involved, so paying works fine. But you, you could have anyone. Why pay?”

Sod it. I blurt out my secret. “I’m a twenty-one-year-old virgin. I find it hard to get to know people, I’m not the sort of person who goes out clubbing or partying. I prefer curling up with a good book and a cup of tea. I like the quiet life, and most people my age don’t. I was sick when everyone else was out partying and having their first sexual experiences. I’m tired of being a virgin, and I want it gone. I did consider inviting a friend of mine back to my house and getting a bit drunk and getting it over with that way, but then I might ruin the friendship, and I don’t have many of those. Paying Ethan could be perfect. But I’m scared he’ll be too rough.”

“He can be. If that’s what you want. I usually do.” She bites her cheek. “It’s a bit of a kink of mine. But, he can be gentle, too. He once came to do our usual routine, and I was feeling fragile because I’d lost a friend to an accident the day before. I safe worded out. Cried on him, and he held me while I did, and then he asked if I wanted him to leave. I said no, I still wanted sex, but not like usual. He was gentle that night. If it weren’t for the fact I know he doesn’t have feelings for me, I’d have said he made love to me. He can be whatever you want him to be, honey.”