Gods & Monsters(57)



My dad planted a seed of doubt inside me and I hate him for that. I hate myself for tainting the trust I have in my Abel.

I hate that one day the doubt gets so bad that I go behind Abel’s back and open his computer, which is lying on the kitchen counter. I want to see what he works on. But as soon as I open it, a video starts up. A sexy video. A couple is making out, naked. Oh gosh. My cheeks burn even though I’ve seen such things with Abel a few times after we moved here.

The girl is dark haired, her face bunched up in ecstasy and with a slamming heart, I realize I know her. I’ve seen her somewhere, which is ridiculous because where would I have seen her? But for the life of me, I can’t deny that she somewhat looks familiar.

I’m trying to place her and hoping that soon she’ll unclench her facial features or hopefully, the guy’s muscular back won’t block her face as much, when Ethan walks in and my embarrassment gets through the roof.

I hit pause and sit up. He looks at me and then, at the computer. “What are you doing with it?”

“Uh, nothing.” I fidget in my seat.

“That’s mine,” he tells me before snatching the laptop away, making me jerk and flush hotter than ever.

“Oh, I’m-I’m sorry. I was just… I thought it was Abel’s.”

“It’s not.” Ethan presses the computer to his chest, frowning, and then asks in a suspicious tone, “Why were you looking at it when he’s not here?”

“I, uh… Because…” I swallow, my heart hammering. “W-Well, can’t I? I mean, he’s my fiancé. I’m sure I can look at his computer.”

My tone is defensive. Ethan knows it. I know it and I’ve never felt more ashamed of myself. I don’t know if he can tell what my intentions were or if something is wrong but I can’t stand his scrutiny.

What would Abel think if he knew I was spying on him?

I excuse myself and lock myself in our room. Damn it. I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I let my dad get to me.

I hate myself. I hate my dad.

Even so, I can’t help but wonder about that woman I saw.

I hate that every evening when Abel comes from work all horny and charged up, my very first thought before I lose myself in lust is why. Why is he so desperate to fuck me? Why’s he so flushed with arousal? Is there a new shine in his eyes? I wonder why he can’t keep his hands off me.

“What’s wrong, honey?” I hate that I ask him this one night when he won’t let me sleep. He just came on my butt and I was drifting off when he turned me on my back, and slid inside me in one go.

He stops, his eyes bright and grip tight. “You’ve never called me that.”

“What?”

“Honey. You’ve never called me that before.”

“Never?”

“No.” He begins rocking, picking up his pace. “I like it. My mom used to call me that.”

“Then I’ll keep calling you that,” I moan, my heart full and my throat choked up.

His thrusts are brutal and even though my pussy is sore and hurting, I don’t want him to stop. I arch my back to let him in even deeper, as deep as he can get. I want him to obliterate all my doubts and suspicions. I want him to purify me with his lust.

Moaning, I rake my nails down his back. He murmurs that I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and all of a sudden, dread makes a home inside my chest. Despite myself, I begin sweating, shaking so hard that Abel has to stop.

“Pixie?”

Oh my God, it’s obvious. It’s so fucking obvious.

“Hey, Pixie? What’s wrong?” he asks, again.

“Are you sure?” I pull on his hair, unable to stop myself.

“About what?”

“That I’m the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen?” He’s confused; I can tell. But I need to know. Is that why his behavior has changed?

“Are you sure that you haven’t seen a more beautiful girl than me? At your job, I mean.”

That’s when he gets it.

He’s silent for a second. I see disbelief and hurt flash through his face, and my heart squeezes. I’m an idiot. How can I even think that? Our love is bigger than that. So much bigger. Affairs, cheating… those things are child’s play. Our bond is beyond that kind of crap. I open my mouth to apologize but he barks out a laugh. It’s harsh and sharp-edged. He picks up the pace; in fact, he jackhammers inside me. The room echoes with his pounding and all I can do is clench that silver cross between my teeth to keep myself from screaming too loud.

We both come at the same time. He spills his cum on my stomach and collapses on me. His weight’s too much but I don’t let him go. I hug him tight.

“If you think that, Pixie, then my entire life has been a waste. My entire fucking life,” he rasps and a tear spills down my eye, and drops on the side of his cheek.

***

Today’s our twenty-sixth day in the city, which means today’s the day I’m going to marry Abel Adams.

Oh, and today’s my birthday too. Who cares? The only thing worth remembering about today is that I’m going to be his, forever and ever, in front of God and men.

Sky calls me to wish me a happy birthday and I tell her about the wedding, and apologize for not calling her sooner. I was terrified to put her under more scrutiny, in case people were watching her.

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