Gods & Monsters(56)

We fight, and then I strip my clothes off and demand that he take my picture with the exact camera that my parents’ money had bought. That gets his attention. I can sense a thrum of excitement in him. It gets me excited too and grinning, I submit to him. He takes snap after snap of me, until his lust becomes the most powerful thing in the room and he has to abandon the impromptu photoshoot to slake it in my body.

He never uses condoms, though. The big idiot. Says he doesn’t want anything between us.

“You’re crazy. You’re literally crazy. Pulling out method doesn’t always work, you know that, right? You wanna populate the Earth with little Abels?”

“Nah, I wanna populate the earth with little Pixies.”

I roll my eyes at him. We’re so young. We can’t have kids. But damn it, it sounds so amazing. If he gets me pregnant, then there’s another bond between us that no one can dare break. But of course, that shouldn’t be the reason to bring a child into this world.

No, a child should be brought into this world for the right reasons. On this, I will never budge.

Although, I will admit that I love the entire process of baby-making. In fact, that’s all I ever want to do. I’m ashamed to admit but there are times when I don’t even want Abel to get out of my body. I wish I could sleep like this, with him buried inside me. I’m not alone in my desires; Abel feels the same way. In fact, even our arguments end up in sex. Especially, when I scream at him to pick up his clothes because he’s a slob, or demand that he close the door while taking a piss, as he calls it.

“Boundaries, Abel!”

He laughs, finishes up his business in the bathroom and fucks me against the wall of the hallway.

“Don’t you get it, Pixie? There’s no place for a boundary between us. I won’t allow it.”

Why does he have to be so insane? Why does it have to turn me on so much? Why don’t I mind drowning in him, in his dark lust and unconventional desires?

Because trust me, they are unconventional.

There’s no consideration of place and time for him. Even if we’re out or riding the subway or walking down the street, he’ll touch me in less than appropriate places. I blush and get mad at him and tell him to cut it out, like I used to back in school corridors, but he doesn’t listen, and that makes me smile.

“Come on, Pixie. What’s the fun in hiding when I can just pick you up, throw you over my shoulder and fuck you against that brick wall right now?”

The brick wall in question is the one in the alley behind a Chinese place we just finished having dinner at.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers, tugging at my clothes, pressing me into the wall. “I think you would, Pixie. I think you’d love that.”

“N-no.” Even though I say it, I know I’m excited. I know I’m deliberately teasing him.

“You can’t lie for shit, Pixie.” He pulls me toward him and my legs have no choice but to go around him, my spine has no choice but to arch, grinding my core on his hard dick.

“B-but people will see us. We can’t,” I whisper, kissing him, contradicting my words, getting him hotter.

“Let them.” He bites at my lower lip, adjusting my legs around him for a firmer grip, and then puts his hands under my dress and plays with my clit. “Let them see, Pixie. Let them point fingers, curse at us, talk about us. Let them think we’ve got no morals. Because trust me, baby, they are liars. They’ll pretend to be disgusted but when they’re alone, they’ll jerk themselves off. They’ll think we wanna love like them. We wanna be legends like them.”

I’m delirious with lust. My desire is leaching out of my core and drenching his fingers, making wet, sucking sounds. All I know is that I want him inside me. Fuck the streets. Fuck the people. I don’t have it in me to even put up a mock protest.

“Abel…” I whimper.

“But they can’t be, right, Pixie?” He rolls his hips, his hands moving away from my pussy and kneading my butt. “They can’t be legends because there’s only one Abel and Evie, right? Only one Abel and his Pixie. And no one loves like us.”

Yes. No one. Not a single person can love the way we do. Not a single person can understand our desire to flaunt our love.

I’m so turned on, it aches. It literally aches.

“Fuck me now, okay? Just fuck me.”

Chuckling like the devil, he does. He gets his dick out and in me in a flash, and closing my eyes, I smile. This is it. This is our love. Shameless, reckless, a little painful, and a lot glorious.

It’s perfect.

Or rather it would be, if not for this teeny-tiny doubt in my mind.

I don’t know why but I still think that Abel is hiding something from me. I can’t be sure but I have this feeling that just won’t go away. Every time I ask him about his job, he freezes up. Sometimes he avoids talking about it. Sometimes he grows irritated with my questions. He stays up late at night working on his computer but if I catch him, he snaps the lid shut.

Or at least, I think he snaps it shut. I don’t know.

I don’t know if it’s in my head or what. Because my head is not a great place to be. Sometimes I see my dad on the streets. I don’t get spooked the way I did the first time, but still my heart jolts. I hear his voice in my dreams or nightmares, rather. His prophecy about how Abel will be my downfall. And I end up hugging Abel tighter. I can’t make this insecurity go away.