Girl Crush(68)
“Where are you going?” His voice was husky and warm.
“I need to get home.” I kept pulling away from him, but he refused to allow me much distance.
“Stay.”
I gave in to his embrace and lay next to him. I tried to read his features, see something in his eyes, expecting his expression to say “go” while his words said “stay.” But I didn’t know what to do when nothing other than sincerity was there.
“I need to go run, Collier. The longer I lie here, the hotter it will get.” I brushed the hair out of his eyes and off his forehead.
There was nothing I wanted more than to lose myself in him, again, but I couldn’t allow myself to fall any harder than I already had. I needed to keep a little distance and allow him the time to catch up to where my heart was.
He rolled over and propped himself up on his side. “I don’t just mean today, Giselle.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
He must have missed the fact that I’d slept with him last night without a commitment of where we were going from here. “Don’t say things you don’t mean just to get something you want.” I softened my stare so he would realize I wasn’t upset. And then let my fingers roam all over his naked chest and down his arms.
“You think this is just about sex?” The way his brow furrowed worried me. He appeared to be on the verge of anger, but I had no idea why.
“I don’t guess so. I don’t know, Collier. I think maybe it’s easier to believe that way.” It was safer to imagine he just wanted sex than to admit he was asking for more.
He smirked before he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong. You give me the green light, and I’ll part your legs and make you sing, but no, this is not about sex. I’ve spent the last two weeks doing nothing but thinking about what we could be based on where we’ve been. I didn’t tell you I love you just to get to sleep with you again. I said it because I meant it.”
From any other man, it would have felt like a line, but something in the way he said the words along with how his pupils dilated and the color of green warmed screamed this was more.
“We’ve spent months dating without the words. You can look at it however you want, but the fact remains that the two of us have done everything a couple does except have sex. You’re one of my best friends, Giselle, and absolutely the only woman I have any desire to spend time with. Ever.”
“Collier…”
“No, listen. I don’t want to spend any more time just dating. I want permanence with you.”
“Meaning what?” I sat up, and the sheet fell to my waist, exposing my chest.
His eyes moved to my ta-tas, and I felt the heat in my cheeks as they flamed.
“I want you to move in.”
I sighed. There was no way for me to say any of this without hurting his feelings.
Before I could reply, he lay down on his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “I get it. It’s too soon for you.”
But that was just it. It wasn’t too soon. I wanted nothing more than to wake up next to him and see him every day. The thought of having him around all the time made me school-girl giddy, but I couldn’t do it here. “No, ding dong. It’s not about that at all.” My hand swatted at his ribs playfully.
He still hadn’t moved his arm. “Then what is it?”
Time to rip off the Band-Aid. I took a deep breath and spit it out. “I hate your house.” I bit the inside of my cheek and waited for his response. I should have known he’d pick now to make eye contact.
“What?” Miffed—that was the only word I could use to describe his tone.
I shrugged and picked the sheet back up, suddenly self-conscious. Tucking the fabric under my arms, I shielded myself from his stare. “It’s cold.”
His laugh reverberated off the marble floors and bounced off the walls. “We can change the temperature of the house, babe.”
“It’s not the air, it’s the feeling. Nothing about your house feels like a home. I hate the floors and the monochromatic colors, and the rooms filled with furniture but no personal effects. There’s just so much wasted space.”
“Are you serious?”
My head bobbed in a nod, but I wasn’t sure he understood what I meant. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the pool, but the rest doesn’t do a lot for me. I love my house, West. I know it’s not fifteen thousand square feet, and I don’t have the oasis out back that you do, but it feels lived in. I never want to leave. With all the shit I’ve been through, my home has been just that…home.”
His lips met mine unexpectedly, and a smile spread from ear to ear when he pulled away.
“Why are you smiling? I figured it would hurt your feelings. I’ve never wanted to tell you that.”
“Because you just confirmed everything I’ve ever believed. There’s not another woman I’ve known that would turn down moving in. Money is all the opposite sex sees when I’m in the picture—but you don’t care about it.”
“Why would I?”
“Most women just see me as a paycheck. I’ve told you that. That’s why it was so easy being around you. I was able to just get to know you without that worry.”
“Did you think that would change just because our status did?”