Gaslight (Crossbreed #4)(118)

He reached down and freed himself, stroking the length of his shaft as she moaned and rolled over, showing him her back. His eyes skimmed down the curve of her spine to her backside.

He wanted her.

Needed her.

Memories of her coming on top of him filled Christian with such impatient desire that he pumped his hand even faster. He fantasized about sliding deep inside her, feeling her walls tighten against his cock. He wanted to touch her—to slide his hand between her legs and make her wet.

Almost there.

When she suddenly lifted her head and peered over her shoulder at him, he stopped cold. Only then did he realize he was doing exactly what her Creator had done to her.

He cursed his deviant ways. She would never forgive him.



A sound awoke me. Skin on skin, grunting—a distant memory of Christian’s lips on my breast. Time had no dominion in a windowless room, and the fire roared as if I’d never gone to sleep. I opened my eyes, staring at brown fur beneath my fingertips.

Then I heard a noise from behind me—the unmistakable sound of a man pleasuring himself. His soft grunts, shallow breaths, the smooth whisper of his palm sliding up and down his erection.

The first thing that entered my mind: why wasn’t Christian touching me? When I peered over my shoulder, his unleashed passion evaporated into a look of regret. That hollow look was the only time I was reminded of my Creator.

Fuck Fletcher if he thought he could ruin men for me. I’d learned years ago how to block him from my daily thoughts. That was why we only crossed paths in nightmares. Training my body and mind over the past couple of weeks had helped me find my center again, but this was all new to Christian. Only time would tell if he could ever look at me without remembering what was done to me.

As much as I wanted to stroke him to climax, that ship had sailed.

Christian concealed himself back in his trousers and zipped them up.

When he didn’t make eye contact, I rolled onto my back and pulled him by the collar. Our lips lightly touched.

“You’re dressed,” I said.

He kissed the crook of my neck. “Is that a problem?”

I stared at his collar. “Only if that means it’s time to leave.”

His teeth nipped my shoulder before he rested his face on it. “Aye, Precious. It’s time.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for a long while. It felt like a goodbye hug.

“We’ll find a way to make it work,” he whispered.

I let go and locked eyes with him. “I don’t know what I’ve said about us in the past, so maybe this isn’t something you want to hear. I’m scared as hell it’s all going to fall apart. I can’t explain why, but I feel something for you. Something deep. Not just because of last night. But I’m still committed to Keystone.” I rubbed my temple. “There’s so much going on in my head right now that it’s spinning.”

He pulled my wrist away and kissed my palm. “Then get off the carnival ride and take a walk. I can’t play the role of a doting lover. I’m a bastard, Raven. But a man knows when it’s time to step back.” He looked down at my neck, finger circling where I had a small mole. “Clear your head. Feelings without memories are like a Sensor giving you counterfeit emotions.”

I rubbed my forehead. “I sometimes remember things that don’t make sense. You’ve risked your life for me more than once. You brought me coffee in the morning. There are things you’ve done that are inconsistent given the context, so I believe you that my memories were taken. The worst part is, I keep wondering if maybe I asked him to do it. What if I did? What if I wanted to forget?”

Christian sat up and casually draped his arm over his knee. “The only way you’ll know the truth is to remember. You asked me once to erase our first kiss, and I did. When I gave the memory back, you hated me for it.”

I sat up. “How many first kisses have we had?”

He caressed my cheek. “Every kiss is our first.”





Chapter 34





It was a brisk morning with snow flurries. Wyatt had arranged for a private plane to fly us back to New Brunswick, and we’d spent the past hour at the airport while Viktor settled damages for the downed aircraft.

Blue still had on Joe’s ridiculously big trousers. He’d given her a pair of suspenders to hold them up, along with a fur coat. I was pretty certain if she asked, he would have given her his underwear.

Blue ordered breakfast while I browsed a souvenir rack along the wall. The owner didn’t sell things like key chains, mugs, and magnets. Instead, there were a number of small daggers, bows, alcohol, and maps. I skipped over all that and went for the snacks.

After loading them into the car, I headed back inside and hung out by the counters. “What’s the holdup?”

Viktor glanced at his watch. “I called my banker to route the money to their account. We’re just waiting for confirmation.”

I grimaced at the thought. “How much was it?”

“In American or Canadian dollars?”

“Never mind.”

The older man behind the counter hung up the phone and patted the counter to get Viktor’s attention. “You’re all set. I don’t want to see you around here again.”

The wind battered us as we walked to the car. Thank God that was all over. As much as I loved the hunt, not knowing the laws in Canada made me uneasy, and I didn’t think Keystone had much clout with the local authorities. Since Christian hadn’t mentioned anything about my killing spree to Viktor, I kept silent about it. It was only a matter of time before someone found the bodies, so the sooner we got out of Canada, the better.