Fallen Woman(64)

“Gianna, your living in The Village just doesn’t work. It’s not safe, and I don’t want you or the kids there. I refuse to take Derrick out and leave you.”

For what seemed like the hundredth time, I tried again to explain why I couldn’t leave yet. “I can’t pay for anything else right now. I need to get a car first and then worry about moving. It’s all very expensive.” We sat at the bar in the kitchen. He stared at me intently while I stared at the counter with my head in my hands, ready to pull my hair out.

“Then move in here. You don’t have to worry about rent, and you can use your money to buy a car.”

“You don’t seem to understand—it’s bigger than that.”

“Then I need you to break it down for me.” The only reason I hadn’t snapped was he’d been so sweet, and I knew this was coming from a place of love. When I glanced at the clock, I freaked out.

“Oh my God, Jase. We left the kids at school.” I jumped up in search of my pocketbook and wondered why he was sitting calmly on the stool.

He grabbed my wrist. “Baby, calm down. Allison got them. We can go by her house anytime.”

“How the heck did you get the school to allow you to dictate who would pick the kids up?” I’m baffled by his ability to maneuver around rules.

“Easy. I told them I was their dad.”

“You’re not listed on their paperwork as their father. Do your looks get you everything?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Usually.” He winked at me and tugged me to his lap. Inches from my face, his voice changed. The softness mixed with compassion and concern made me want to give him anything he wanted. This is how he gets his way. “Move in with me. Let me take care of you. I want to help with the kids. I want them to have a safe place to live. I never want any of you to do without.” Waiting for me to reply, he continued to try to sway me. “Tell me what it is I’m not understanding.”

He wouldn’t relent, and unless I was honest with him, he wouldn’t give in. “Emmy’s medical bills are enough to buy a small house. All of them past due, and my credit is ruined. I’m barely getting by as it is. I can’t up my rent. I can’t walk away from the debt—I looked into bankruptcy, and you still have to pay the money back. There’s no way I’ll ever dig myself out, Jase.” I couldn’t face him, so instead, I stared at his knee and picked at my cuticle.

Jase’s fingers found my chin, lifting it, forcing me to meet him eye to eye. “Why won’t you let me help you, Gia?”

“I’m not your problem, Jase. Neither are my kids.”

A storm brewed in his cloudy eyes. “I want you here. One way or another, I’m going to get what I want—you know that. So why do you fight it?”

“I keep thinking you’ll listen to reason.”

He wasn’t going to. I knew he wouldn’t. He had the answer to all my problems…in spades. Every worry I had—except Emmy’s Lyme disease—he could fix by writing one check. Money he’d probably never notice was gone. But I’d never taken handouts, and I didn’t want to start with Jase.

“Will you at least show me everything you have out there and let me help you with a game plan?” he pleaded.

It was a reasonable request, but I was afraid he’d see the truth and run for the hills. If we ever had a chance at any relationship, I couldn’t keep my cards hidden. I had to play them. So I relented. “Fine.” I huffed and crossed my arms like a child.

“And you and the kids stay here while you work on the plan.” He slid that in like I wouldn’t hear him as he patted my butt for me to hop up. “Just give in, Gia. I’m not going to let it go.” He kissed me on the side of the head, and with that, the discussion about my living arrangements was over.

It didn’t take much to move us from The Village to Jase’s house. I’m embarrassed to admit there was nothing other than clothes and toys I cared about taking. We trashed the furniture and just about everything else. The only box remained taped up as it had with each move—at some point, the kids would want to know about Ryan…until then, there was nothing to see.

~~~

The kids all took moving out of The Village in stride—as long as they were together, they didn’t care where they lived. Jase had given each of them their own rooms and had them professionally decorated, but somehow, they migrated to one room every night and ended up in a communal bed. I thought about arguing with them, but they’d never really known any different.

We’d only been here a couple of days, but somehow, he’d managed to make it feel as though we’d always been together. Emmy thought moving in confirmed Jase was her daddy, and he seemed ten feet tall and bulletproof every time she said it, so I let that go, too. Everything was going really well…too well.

Nothing in my life ever stayed bundled up in a nice, neat little package.

Something had to throw off the balance, tip the scale, alter gravity.

Jase had taken the kids to get dinner, leaving me home alone to unwind. I really had no idea what to do with myself—my time was always accounted for by work, doctors’ appointments, or children. I tried to read a magazine but opted for the television instead. Camped out in Jase’s man cave, which had become a playroom, I let my mind drift to a happy place—a content place, a place I was loved and life was good, where we didn’t have to worry about money, where I knew I could get Emmy the care she needed, and where I could start making arrangements to pay off the debt that had strangled me for so long. For the first time since Ryan lost his job, I felt peace.