Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(89)

He completely ruined my life and made Nor’s life a living hell. I really need to know what happened, then I can track down that bastard. When I was in prison, I tried to stay away from trouble as much as I could. But if trouble followed me, I dealt with it without hesitation. I learned fast how to use my fists. I also learned how easy it was to choke the life out of someone. Watch life fade from their eyes. I never killed anyone, but it didn’t stop me from showing them I could do it without blinking an eye. I came so close to losing my own life several times. I learned that respect had to be earned.

I earned it.

Pain shoots from my cheek and I realize my jaw is clenched too tight. I pull my hands from my pockets and sign, “I have to go.”

Nor nods once. “Thank you for today.”

We stare at each other for several seconds, the air heavy with our loss. My brother. Her husband. I turn and walk toward the door.

After putting on my shoes, I glance over my shoulder one more time and my f*cking chest explodes with pain.

I can’t leave her like this. Her shoulders are shaking and her head is bent, her hair covers her face, hiding the pain tearing her apart. She’d held herself together the entire afternoon after Josh died, never allowing herself to show any weakness.

Pushing away from the door, I stride back and sit on the couch before pulling her in my arms. I expect her to push me away, but she doesn’t. She wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me tight and then tucks her head into my chest.

Jesus. Feeling her body shake against mine breaks me. I wish I could absorb her pain through my skin.

“I got you, Snowflake,” I say, kissing her hair. “I got you.”

My words unlock something in her. She lets herself go and she cries. I continue to hold her, tightening my hands around her and comforting her with words. Holding Nor like this fills my heart, reminding me how good we used to fit together.

Leaning back, I comb her hair back and just stare at her, taking in her tear-filled eyes, pink nose scattered with freckles. Flushed cheeks and snot running down her nose. My f*cking heart trips on itself, overriding my brain.

She has never looked more beautiful.

“Tell me about my brother. I feel like I missed out on knowing him these past nine years.”

She bites her cheek, softly smiles then wipes her cheeks with her nightgown.

“He loved the girls so much. He taught them how to fish,” she signs. She tells me how Josh freaked out when her water broke, that he fainted when he saw Joce pop out of her. Woke up and fainted again when he saw Cora. She laughs. I tighten my hands, a lump forming in my throat. I should have been the one there welcoming my babies in to this world. “He was the best friend I could ever have asked for. He was so good to me and the girls, even though staying with us meant him losing any chance of meeting someone who loved him as he wanted to be loved.”

Then she starts to sob again. I have so many questions running through my mind, but I push them to the back of my head and tighten my arms around her.

“Shhh. It’s okay. I’m here,” I say, rubbing her back in circles.

Nor lifts her head from my chest and looks at me. She raises her hand and softly touches my jaw. Every nerve in my body is centered on her fingers, lessening the ache of losing my brother, of missing out on my children’s lives, of losing Nor. I f*cking hate how much I crave her touch. We still have a lot to talk about, but no one has ever touched me like she just did seconds ago, since her.

Nor shifts on my lap, leaning forward without breaking eye contact. She kisses my jaw, my cheek. When her lips brush against mine, her eyes fall shut and she exhales hard. My fingers are gripping her hips, moving up to cup her face. I shudder and groan when she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth.

“Fuck, Nor,” I breath into her. My heart’s beating fast inside my chest. Her hands are touching me everywhere, fast, desperate.

She leans back and stares at me. “Kiss me, Cole. Just, please kiss me. I need to forget for just tonight what I lost. What we lost.”

I’m so eager to erase the crippling pain in my chest. Eager to feel Nor again. So I give her what she wants because it’s what I want too. What I frantically need. Her lips on mine. Her skin on mine. Quenching the hunger that is still buried in me even after all this time. Within seconds, I’m kicking my shoes off and she’s lying horizontal and I’m on top of her. I wedge my leg between her thighs and throw her arms over her head, arching her lower body up, grinding her covered * on my jean-covered crotch.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

“So damn sexy,” I say, as she moves beneath me, her lips parted. I lean forward, slide my hand up her throat and wrap my fingers around the nape of the neck. My thumb moves along the column of her neck. He skin vibrates and my cock presses harder on my zipper.

I need to bury myself inside her or I might die. Our legs tangle, my fingers fighting to get more of her. They remember the map of her body as if we’ve never been apart. I can’t remember the last time I felt a hunger this deep. My mouth trails down her neck, across her chest. I take her nipple between my lips and suck it, then move to the other one and do the same thing. Her body writhes under me, her mouth parted.

I lift my head to look at her as my hand slides under her white flimsy nightgown, I brush her * and push a finger inside her.

“So wet,” I say.

Her hooded eyes meet mine and I’m three seconds away from jerking off in my pants.