Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(85)

“He is not allowed to keep them.” I know this, Maggie told me the inmates weren’t allowed to have personal stuff.

Disappointment flashes across her face. Nevertheless, she lifts her chin. “Cole is a good guy. He was just caught in a bad moment,” she says. She is so wise for her age. We hardly ever talk about my dad, especially after that night when everything went to hell.

I nod and smile through the tears. “I’ll be sure to let him know. Oh gosh, look at us. We should be happy and smiling, right? It’s the first time I’m going to see him after weeks of worry.”

I link my fingers with hers as we walk out of my room and downstairs. Maggie is chatting with Elise and Josh next to her car. She turns at the sound of our voices.

Josh can’t come with us today because he has a doctor’s appointment for a blood check. The last time he and I chatted, he told me that his parents were going through a bad time in their marriage after Cole’s arrest. His father moved out and is now staying at a hotel in town.

I squirm on the passenger seat and glance out the window. The tension is so thick it’s hard to breathe. I have no idea how to diffuse it. I turn to look at her, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

“Maggie. . .I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything. I—”

Her lips form a thin line and she looks away from me, but not before I see the anger fill her features. “It’s already done now. Let’s focus on today, all right?”

I nod and turn to watch the trees pass by outside of my window.





Seeing Cole limping inside the visiting room is like a slap across my face. His usual wild hair is gone, replaced by a buzz cut. Despite his attempt to cover the pain, I can see him favoring the right side of his body.

He lifts his head and scans the room filled with inmates and their families. His search ends when his eyes land on us. I gasp and his gaze flickers to mine, then holds it. His mouth starts to widen in a smile and I feel all this fluttering in my stomach at the sight of his handsome face. His eyes. . .Jesus. They look more deep set than before, darker than before and even a touch cold as if he has seen a lot of things not worthy of mentioning in the past two months. And now those eyes are leveled on me with such intensity I’m wondering how I’m even sitting on the chair.

I wait until he reaches the spot where his mom and I are sitting before I stand up and give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. I quickly pull back, afraid of doing anything that might be considered inappropriate according to the prison rules. After Maggie embraces him too, we settle on the chairs, the table separating us. I fold my hands on my lap to keep from reaching out and linking our fingers. I can’t believe we are sitting in the same room. He is so close, yet so far.

There is so much I want to tell him, but I can’t. Not in front of his mom.

Cole grimaces as he subtly adjusts his weight to lean more on the left side of his body.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie and I ask at the same time.

He shakes his head a little too fast and signs, “Nothing.”

No, no, no. This cannot be happening. “Are you hurt, Cole?” I ask, my voice unsteady.

His face turns angry. “Don’t do this, okay?”

“Did something happen? You are hurt, aren’t you?”

“Cole—” Maggie starts but Cole stops her with a glare.

“Let this be,” he insists.

He glares at me for a few moments. “I thought you guys came here to visit and not for doctoral duties.” he signs scowling.

I keep my unyielding gaze on him.

“Who did this to you?” Maggie asks.

He shrugs. “Just some guys who thought they’d introduce me to the system of how things work around here. How’s everyone doing?” he asks.

Maggie goes ahead to give him updates of what is happening, but my thoughts are spinning in circles. My eyes can’t get enough of him. She pauses and darts a glance my way, but ends up telling him about his dad moving away from home.

It’s painful watching Cole’s face fill with sadness.

His mom excuses herself to go to the bathrooms.

I swallow around the lump in my throat, unfold my hands from my lap and place them flat on the table.

“What happened, Cole?” I ask, as a tear rolls down my cheek.

He rubs his forehead, and when he meets my gaze again, his eyes look tired, tortured. He moves his hand inch by inch in my direction. I meet him halfway, glancing around to make sure we are not being watched. He quickly brushes the tip on his index finger on my pinkie finger twice before pulling back.

“It’s nothing. I promise.” He bites his bottom lip, studying me. “You have lost a lot of weight, Snowflake. This is not your fault. I knew what I was doing when I raised my fist to punch him. I would do it all over again, if it meant keeping you safe, Nor. I did this and not you.”

I shake my head. “I should have known he would never stop until he destroyed us. You. Sometimes I wonder if I have that trait in me. I don’t ever want to hurt you, Cole. I would rather lose you than turn out to be like him. His obsession is a sickness.”

He leans forward, his eyes flashing with anger. “Don’t talk like that, Eleanor Blake. You are nothing like your father. You will never lose me. Your father is a sick bastard. You are not him, do you hear me?” He lifts his hands and signs, “I love you so much.”