Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(88)

Turning on my side on the hard mattress, I close my eyes and imagine wrapping my hands around Stephen’s neck, squeezing and watching life fade from his eyes. And I feel peace settle over me.





THE LAST TIME COLE ASKED me not to go see him, I had a hard time accepting his orders. Really, how can you tell someone you love they shouldn’t come to visit you? How do I even begin to not see him for the next eight months? I’ve gone through the first three stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining. Well, I’m not going to let myself get depressed and accept his decision in any way. I want to see Cole more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.

I have a plan. I just need to find Mr. Taylor first.

I glance down at the letters on my lap. I hadn’t received Cole’s letters in a while, so I was pleasantly surprised when I open my mail box and found two letters inside.

My gaze flickers to the antique wooden box that holds the other letters he sent. About nine so far. The title on the envelopes is, “Open Me When. . .”

I pick the one closest to me and flip it open, reading his words written in confident scrawl. My heart crawls up my throat immediately and I have to blink hard to keep the tears at bay.



My Snowflake, When you feel like we need to break up, remember the silver lining. I’m an ass for asking you to stay away. Wait for me just a little bit longer. Just a little longer.

I love you.

Cole.




I smile, and carefully open the next one.



Open me when you need to know how much I love you. Go to the mirror. That girl staring back at you with big green eyes and freckles on her nose. . .that is the girl I love.

I love you.

Cole

God.

Cole.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and fold the letters, then rearrange them inside the antique wooden box I bought a while back to keep gifts and letters from Cole. Then look up in the mirror directly opposite to where I’m sitting on the bed.

I miss him so much I need to see him soon. Lately, Grandma has been feeling ill. I paid a visit to her last Thursday, and Mr. Taylor dropped by for a visit. I asked him how Cole was doing. Someone beat him up again. Taylor has asked a few trusted guards to keep an eye on him, but somehow the attackers find a way to get him alone.

A few weeks ago, I overheard Maggie and my dad talking downstairs in the foyer.

“Stephen, please. You need to stop hurting him. You said you love me. Do you hurt the person you love? Cole is a piece of me.”

My dad growled and said, “He took you away from me. If you weren’t pregnant with that. . .him. . .” he stopped and took in a long, deep breath. The next words that came out of his mouth made me realize that my father had gone mad. “You and Benjamin are no longer together. But you still refuse to come back to me.”

“We were kids, Stephen. We didn’t know what we wanted.”

“That’s where you’re wrong!” he bellowed.

Maggie had tried to talk to him, to dissuade him, but he’d gotten angry and shoved her out of the door.

My father had spat something in a low voice before slamming the door shut.

I clear my head to get rid of that memory and focus on a plan to see Cole.





I STARTLE AWAKE, THE STIFFNESS in my arms sending pain through my body. I try to stretch my arms but some sort of weight holds them down. Lifting my head, I squint in the dark to see Cora and Joce snuggled at my sides. It was almost ten o’clock at night when we finally arrived home from the hospital. Nor didn’t want the girls to sleep alone, so they ended up in her bed. As soon as Joce’s little body hit the mattress, she held up her arms for me and I f*cking cried as I scooted between her and Cora. I pulled them to me so that their heads were on my chest. I held them as sobs racked their bodies until they fell asleep. I must have dozed off as well, unaware when Nor left the room.

Carefully, I slide my hand out from under the girls’ bodies and inch out of bed. The room is dark so it takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Nor must have decided to turn off all the lights and went to sleep elsewhere in the house since I took up her place on her bed.

Once I find my bearings, I shuffle to the door, turn on the light in the hallway and pull my phone from my pants pocket. I turn on the camera and set it to night mode, tiptoe back to the bed and snap a picture of my daughters. They look so adorable, sprawled on the bed with their faces relaxed in sleep.

According to the clock on the nightstand, it’s past one o’clock in the morning. Turning around, I head out of the room and walk downstairs. My breath stalls when I see Nor’s petite frame curled on the couch, her focus on the shopping channel running on TV. Suddenly, she lifts her head and looks over the couch but then averts her face quickly, wiping her cheeks. She twists her body slightly to the side and turns on the small lamp on the side table.

Shit.

I can’t stop looking at her. Even when crying, she looks so damn beautiful.

“The girls are asleep.” I shove my balled up fists inside my wrinkled pants pockets to stop myself from walking over and pulling her into my arms. She looks so heartbroken, so scared. I glance around for her sisters. They arrived a few hours ago after we came home from the hospital.

“Elon and Elise are already in bed,” she says, as if reading my mind.

I nod, my thoughts momentarily wandering to Stephen. My hands clench tighter and I want to bust some balls with my fist, just thinking about that sick son of a bitch.