Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(109)

Shock washes over me. “Please, stop. Just stop,” I whisper, terrified by his words. I’ve seen the horrors my dad unleashes when he’s defied or angry. I can’t even begin to imagine what he will do to Cole.

He sneers. “You should have listened to me when I asked you to stay away from that boy.”

I should have, but I couldn’t. The more determined he was to keep Cole and me apart, the harder we fought to be together.

I’ve never understood the mechanical workings of my father’s troubled brain or his actions. But one thing is for sure; I’ll heed his warning.




I thought I’d found my mental balance after the last few months of therapy, but I’m not sure about that anymore. I feel it slipping away. I’m drowning in guilt, praying for a miracle. My mornings are full of morning sickness and my nights are spent crying myself to sleep. I can’t handle school, so I dropped out, I don’t think I’ll be going back after Christmas break. I’m breaking. I don’t want to. The doctor said I have to take care of myself or I might lose the babies.

Yes. Babies. She confirmed that I was carrying twins. I’m caught between wanting these babies so much that my entire being aches with need, and fear because I’m too young to be a mom. I’m also terrified of bringing them into a world where my dad exists.

And then there’s Cole. He still doesn’t know I’m carrying his children. Any chance of telling him was destroyed after Josh’s last visit to the prison. When he returned home, he told me that Cole had a broken nose and a sprained ankle. My monster of a father confirmed it later that evening with a smirk. His message was loud and clear.

Josh and I decided to talk to his parents about our current situation right after my dad’s ultimatum. His father had words with my father, but it didn’t go well. We didn’t even have any proof that my father is responsible for the kind of brutality Cole has endured while in prison. And after Josh’s visit, the decision for us to get married was cemented. My father had won in that aspect. Cole was coming home soon. Getting married to fool my father was the only way to go until my boyfriend was safe at home. Josh and I planned to annul the marriage on the grounds of marriage under duress.

We had it all planned. What we didn’t expect is that, our plan would be blown to pieces. My father’s plan for revenge was in full momentum as he set the date for the wedding, coinciding it with Cole’s release from prison. It was time for the woman who had rejected him, and the boy my dad blames for the said rejection to pay.

We just had to make sure we got to Cole in time before he got the news.





WHEN I WAS A LITTLE girl, I used to dream of finding a man who would sweep me off my feet and take me away from my sucky life. Far, far away from my father. He’d drop on one knee and ask me to marry him, and then we’d get married in a big church. I’d wear the most beautiful white gown with a train that goes on for miles.

That illusion shattered when I was a teen and I realized that no one could love a girl full of scars, both inside and out, and a messed up mind. A mind that terrifies her sometimes. I lived that dream by watching romantic comedies while eating ice cream and popcorn.

Then I met Cole, and that part of me that believed in fairy tales, unicorns and fairy dust stirred to life. He saw me. He looked past my scars and saw the frightened girl I was. He embraced me. Desired me and he never attempted to hide his feelings from me. He loved me so hard, so desperately, so fiercely I literally burned bright from inside out with his love. And I loved him and still love him so violently my heart twirls and spins and does all these dangerous things that would be harmful under different circumstances. Our love is the kind of love that would make Romeo and Juliet stand up and applaud. The kind you feel in your bones. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Cole and me, walking down the aisle, smiling and looking into each other’s eyes.

I never expected my life to turn out this way.

I’m standing in front of a mirror in an empty room at St. Christopher’s Church, the place that used to bring me peace, is now wreaking havoc in me. I’m wearing a simple white dress, holding a bouquet of roses, getting ready to walk down the aisle toward the wrong brother. I close my eyes and see my mother like I saw her last night, smiling sadly at me. She’s lying in bed, wasting away in a mess of abandoned dreams, rejected love and heartbreak. She murmurs that I’m doing the right thing to save the boy I love. I want her to hold me so badly. To comfort me. But she can barely lift her head Her body is riddled with antipsychotics and I keep wondering if she’ll ever be the same woman who brought me in to this world; vibrant, caring and full of laughter. I swear to myself that after this is over, I’ll get her the help she needs.

I open my eyes and find my best friend’s brown eyes staring back at me worriedly. Pain lurks in them.

“I’m so, so sorry, Megs,” I tell her, guilt writhing inside me. She and Simon aren’t talking at the moment. Simon is currently doing his internship in Miami, so he has been in the dark about what is happening. He’s very loyal to Cole and I knew he’d tell him about me being pregnant. Simon suspects something is wrong and she refuses to tell him.

She shrugs. “It’s not my place to tell Simon what is happening. If Cole has to hear it from someone, it has to be you and not my boyfriend.”

I love this girl. I adore her for her relentless loyalty to me, even though it led to her breaking up with the love of her life.