Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(108)

MY EYES FINALLY OPEN SLOWLY. I blink fast to adjust my sight and narrow in on Josh, sitting next to my form lying on the bed. He leans forward, his eyebrows furrowed in worry and whispers, “Nor? Can you hear me?”

I try to sit up but a sharp pain on the left side of my head halts my progress, forcing me to fall back on the bed as I feel his fingers twine with mine, squeezing gently.

“You hit your head pretty hard. Just lie down for a few minutes, okay?” He pushes my shoulder down when I try to sit up again. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?”

I close my eyes, trying to remember what happened and why Josh is in my room. I swing my legs out of the bed as everything comes rushing back, causing his hands to drop away from mine. Clutching my stomach, I double over, tittering on the edge of the bed.

“Oh God, he knows. What did he say? You were in his office. What did you two talk about?”

He leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and drops his head into his hands and mutters, “Fuck!” under his breath.

“What?” My arms fall from my waist and I grab his forearms. “Josh, what does that mean? What happened in there?”

He raises his head and drags shaking fingers through his hair. His eyes meet mine and I feel my world narrow to this moment. I’ve never seen anyone appear so deeply broken like Josh does at this moment.

“Josh?” I call his name again to get his attention.

He squares his jaw. “He wants us to. . .your father wants us to get married as soon as possible.”

“NO! We can’t. Shit. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” I whisper.

He sucks in a deep breath. His nostrils flare and he clenches his fists on his lap, opens his mouth and closes it again. When he finally speaks, his voice shakes, whether it’s from anger or the aftermath of meeting with my father, I can’t tell.

“How was it supposed to be Nor, huh? Did you think your father would be okay with this? Did you think he’d fall at my brother’s feet and thank him for getting you pregnant?”

Every single word is like a knife to my stomach, jabbing and jabbing until I can’t breathe.

I slide off the bed and stagger forward. Josh’s hand shoots forward to catch me, then he drops it after making sure I’m okay. I walk to the window overlooking the street and stare out. Mrs. Robins is on her knees, working on her garden. Little Katherine wobbles her way to her mother’s side and drops on her little knees. I feel my lips tip up as I imagine my child—Cole’s and my child—tottering around the lawn. Cole and I sitting on the porch steps or on the swing. But that dream is about to be ripped from under my feet.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry I involved you in this. I shouldn’t have come to you. I wasn’t prepared for my father to find out so soon.” I leave the window and return to stand in front of Josh. “Thank you for standing up for me before my father. Thank you for being my friend. There has to be another way. I will sort this out.”

He closes the distance separating us and ducks his head to meet my eyes. “I can’t do that even if I wanted to.”

My body stiffens. “You can’t seriously be thinking of doing what he told you to do. I wouldn’t let you do that. This is mine and Cole’s baby. This is my problem.” I shake my head and touch his clean-shaven jaw. “You shouldn’t have told him the baby is yours. Look. I will talk to my dad.”

He sighs, digs his hands into his hair and tugs it back. “Sweetheart, you know your father. You know what he is capable of. He’s the devil. You don’t want to cross him. Not this way.” He tips up my chin so our eyes are locked. His are dull, filled with regret. “He told me if I don’t convince you to do this, he will take everything away from you. Your sisters and mother. You crossed him the moment you chose Cole over him.”

He brushes his fingers on both of my cheeks, making me realize I’m crying.

“Between your father hurting you and my brother, two of the people I love the most, and walking away, I choose you and Cole, Nor.”

Tucking my head into his chest, I fist his shirt in my hands as tears fall down my face.

There has to be a way to solve this, work it out so Josh doesn’t end up bound to me.

It’s Cole. It has always been him. He promised me forever. I promised him forever and a day because if he were to leave this world before me, I’d be lost. How would I survive?

When the tears have dried and all that is left is emptiness in my chest and my thoughts are the only thing roaming my mind, I pull back from him and push my chin forward.

Once Josh leaves, I climb the stairs on weary feet and head for my room, numbness cloaking my body. I change directions and shuffle down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“Eleanor.” My dad’s voice freezes me on the spot. Wiping the tears from my cheeks with my palm, I shift around to face the man I’ve come to hate with every single bone in my body. Bile rises up my throat at the mere sight of him.

I raise my chin and stare at him with what I hope is a brave look on my face. I won’t allow him to see how defeated I feel.

“One more thing.” His voice is cold, brimming with loathing. “You will not visit that boy in prison. You will not tell him about the child.” My eyes widen and my bravery facade disintegrates a little. “Yes, I know. Do you think I’m stupid to not realize that Josh never had a chance with you? I know the warden arranged a meeting with you and Cole in his office. Your conversation with his brother confirms that child is Cole’s. Defy me and you won’t like the consequences.”