Faked (Ward Family #2)(64)

"I'm so mad at him for leaving," I said, voice hoarse from talking. "But I get it. I don't want to, but I do."

"I don't."

I nudged her. "I don't need you to vilify him. Paige did enough of that."

Lia laughed under her breath. After the driveway showdown, family dinner was a shitshow. I cried in my old bedroom while Isabel and Paige and Lia yelled over each other about what happened. Logan kept knocking on the door, trying to talk to me, and Emmett happily sat the table with a strangely quiet Finn.

"I'm not trying to vilify, per se." She nudged back. "I mean, sure, it couldn't be easy to hear that about Finn, but literally, nothing ever happened between you two. Not even a single loaded glance. I think if he'd given his hothead temper five seconds to calm down, he would've thought that through and seen that you were still the badass that rocked his freaking world off its axis up in that cabin, and he'd eventually get over it."

"Here too," I heard myself say.

"What here too?"

I glanced down at my bed with a sheepish grin.

"Oh my gosh," Lia groaned. "Seriously? Don't tell me stuff like that. It's Bauer. I'm still coming around to this whole thing."

That made my heart do the weird achy thing again. I missed him. It had been two days, and I missed him.

"Nothing to come around to." I sighed. "He made it clear I wasn't worth the trouble of dealing with that kind of emotional baggage to him."

"Claire, be serious, you know that man was crazy about you, right? Like ... stupid, head over heels in love with you."

"If he was," I said carefully, "he has a strange way of showing it."

"Bauer has the emotional IQ of a six-year-old, C. You know that."

"No, most six-year-olds could communicate better than he did in that driveway. He has the emotional IQ of a stunted twenty-six-year-old who has no freaking clue how to be in a relationship. Combine that with his stupid face and stupid muscles and stupid job, and that makes him the most dangerous creature alive." I banged my head against the wall. "And stupid me, I thought ..."

"What?"

Bang.

"I thought he'd be willing to figure it out for me. Because of what we had together." I laughed. "And look where that got me. Brokenhearted, being irrationally stubborn to my twin sister who really didn't do anything wrong, and missing him like he sawed off a part of my body and took it with him."

"Graphic but okay, I'm tracking." She glanced at me. "Why are you being so hard on yourself about this?"

Bang.

"I'm the one who's supposed to be studying human behavior, right? Cause and effect. Knowing how childhood trauma can play out into adulthood. It's like I saw Bauer and every single I can fix him impulse was screaming at me. Except the multiple orgasms just made me dumber."

Bang.

"Number one," Lia said. "Stop banging your head against the wall. Concussions help no one. And number two, Adele did a number on him. So freaking what? Brooke did a number on us, and you know why we're not emotionally stunted?"

I turned my head to look at her. "Why?"

"Someone who never gave up on us. A group of someones. We had each other, and we had Logan. Then we had Paige." She groaned. "And I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Bauer has never had anyone refuse to give up on him."

A faded picture on a wall of a cabin came into my head. "He's had one person. But I get what you're saying."

Lia's fingers tightened around mine. "If this man is as important to you as I think he is, then show him what it feels like. Refuse to give up on him if he feels what I think he does. He never would've gotten so upset if you hadn't dug your cute little claws into his emotionally stunted heart."

I sighed. "So just ... ignore the bullshit he spouted and tell him I'm not going anywhere? That sounds healthy."

"Noooo way. If he knows what's good for him, there will be copious groveling. But you don't have to decide anything right now, okay?"

Curling into my sister, I let her hug me. It felt like I could sleep for a week after that one conversation. "Okay."

"I know what will cheer you up," she said.

"Alcohol and a week at the beach?"

"No." She laughed. "I think you should go somewhere with me this weekend."

I sat up with a sigh. "Where?"

Lia was quiet for a second. "Adele and Tom are doing a big celebration party at the center on Saturday night, and I think ... I think you should come and see."

The face that came to mind now was the one I'd lied to, and I found myself grimacing. "Richard Harper will have quite the surprise seeing the two of us."

"And you will explain it to him, and he'll be fine. Finn told me he's been amazing with how involved he wants to be at the center."

I nodded. "I'd feel better if I could apologize to him."

"Not that you really have anything to apologize for," Lia pointed out.

Unwilling to hash that out, I let her think whatever she wanted. "What would I have to wear? Because if it requires another fancy dress, I'm out."

"Cute casual will be fine. It's a community center, not a ballroom."