Faked (Ward Family #2)(61)

His face slowly hardened into a mask. "I sure as hell don't think it's funny."

"Neither do I, Bauer." I stared him down. "I didn't know you."

"No, but you sure as hell knew him." He tipped his head back and let out a dry laugh. "Everything you said in the car ... so understanding about my past. You were covering your ass."

"I was doing no such thing," I protested. But hadn't I been? Just a little. Discomfort ratcheted my anger up another notch.

"I have a pretty good bullshit meter, Claire, so be careful."

"I wasn't protecting myself, Bauer. I was trying to get to know you, talk to you about normal relationship things. You asked if I'd ever brought a boyfriend home, and I haven't. Just you."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Because the guy you wanted was here for every damn dinner."

"And you're punishing me because I had a stupid, silly crush on him, one that I managed to ignore for a long time. I cannot change what I felt before I knew you."

No surprise, but the mask didn't move, and not one word came out of the hard line of his mouth.

I rubbed at my temples. "Bauer, come on, you are smart enough to know that it's grossly unfair to hold that against me. I didn't know you."

His jaw clenched, and his brows lowered a fraction. He didn't want me to be right, but I saw it in his eyes—the complete and utter inability to argue with me.

"Are you going to just stand there?" I snapped.

That finally cracked the mask. "What do you want me to say, Claire?" He spread his arms out. "That right now, it's impossible for me to look at you right now, without seeing you with him. That it's impossible to think about you wanting him—even if it was before me—without wanting to go wreck his pretty-boy face? Would that make you feel better?" he yelled.

I swallowed, tucking my arms around my waist. "No."

"I have one member of my family who doesn't treat me like a complete asshole, and that's him, and now I want to break his fucking nose."

My eyes pinched shut.

"Maybe it's not fair. But if I walk in there and say to him, do to him what this makes me want to do, I will sever any and all relationship with my family. Not to mention what your family will think of me."

"Is that a joke?" I pointed back at the house. "Have you met Paige? She'd claw anyone's eyes out if she thought they were making a play for Logan. I've seen her cuss out football groupies so badly that my ears almost bled."

Bauer slicked his tongue over his teeth. "Groupies are not the same as my brother."

"Your brother was a harmless crush and nothing more," I said fiercely. "He never looked twice at me. And now? I'm glad he didn't. Because I got you."

He clenched his teeth again, watched me warily as I approached. But his eyes took on a warning glint when I moved to touch him.

That was why I stopped. It was like stepping up to a bear about to charge.

We were standing closely enough that I could've lifted one hand and it would land on his chest. I'd be able to know if his heart was pounding and thrashing the way mine was.

A thought came into my head quickly, that maybe this was all Bauer and I were destined to be. Something bright and hot and fast. Nothing that could sustain because of the way we started.

It was too intense, and we burned out whatever heat had lit between us, simply by the nature of how our relationship had begun.

Locked in a pressure cooker.

It was a quick way to get started, but as soon as that lid was opened, everything dissipated into smoke.

"You'll never allow yourself to overlook this, will you?" I said quietly. As soon as I said it, my mad drained immediately to sad.

Bauer dropped his chin and breathed deeply. "Could you?"

"I don't hold your past against you. Because it's irrational and unfair, and you know it."

"That's not what I mean." He lifted his head, held my gaze, and the resolve I saw there chilled me to my core. "Could you overlook it if I told you that I showed up that night to take a shot with Lia?"

Words were gone. My mouth was sand-dry at what that did to me.

He kept talking, quiet, dangerous words that did horrible things to my heart. "If I told you that I thought about being with her, touching her, kissing her, and for even one moment, I was disappointed that I got you instead."

I sucked in a startled breath.

"Yeah," he said slowly, softly. "You couldn't overlook it either. Because that look in your pretty blue eyes, princess. It feels like I just punched you in the gut, doesn't it?"

My eyes filled with tears, and I hated them. I hated that he was right. And for just a moment, one fleeting, fast one, I hated my sister for whatever she'd said, I hated Finn for being inside the house, and I hated myself for not saying something when I'd had the chance.

Because Bauer was right. The thought that he might have had feelings for Lia, oh, it hurt. Even the idea of it made my bones freeze over, crack dangerously when I tried to breathe too deeply, like I might shatter from the inside out.

Point proven with stunning accuracy, Bauer exhaled slowly. "It's good, though, you know?"

"What is?" I whispered. My throat hurt from holding in tears.