Faked (Ward Family #2)(48)

Bauer lived a very different life than I did, and he lived it a few hours away from where my own life was anchored—where my school and family and friends were.

Under normal circumstances, I would've ignored every gut instinct telling me that this man was worth a risky leap and convinced myself that I was better off not even allowing one kiss to tempt me.

The water turned off in the bathroom, and I felt a shiver go through my body, thinking about him naked, wet and just ... naked. I couldn't stop the ridiculous grin that spread over my face because this feeling was so incredibly delicious, so addicting, I could understand why people chased it with two grasping hands once they knew it existed.

I knew why my sister Molly had risked her job to be with Noah when they had every reason to stay away from each other. Sure, it turned out well for them, but at the time, it mystified me a bit that she'd have knowingly broken the rules to be with him.

Bauer came out of the tiny room with a white towel wrapped around his trim waist and a dangerous glint in his eye.

"You're gonna get cold," I said, pointing at his towel.

"I have someone to warm me up now."

"Agnes wouldn't warm you up if you were dying of hypothermia in front of her."

He laughed, leaning over me to drop a kiss on the top of my head. "True. But she's getting used to me."

"She's not actively hating you," I amended. "Let's not get carried away."

"Thoughts on dinner?" Bauer asked, opening the bare fridge and frowning at what he found.

I stood and approached him, wrapping my arms around his waist, kissing between his shoulder blades while my hands smoothed over the damp skin of his abs. "We'll have to get creative. It'll be a sad picnic, but if you're willing to split the last freezer meal, we'll have enough."

Which was what we did, and after Bauer dragged the mattress down the steps, shoved the couch backward to make room, and laid it on the floor in front of the fire, we decided that for our last night, we'd spend as much time as possible in that bed, including eat dinner there.

With the fire roaring happily, cracking and popping with the firewood that Scotty had wisely stored up, Bauer held up the last bite of a truly bland Salisbury steak frozen meal, and I ate it off the fork.

"Delicious," I mumbled.

He chuckled and moved the plate off the bed, turning on his side to watch me. So far, we'd kept clothes on during mealtime, which was almost necessary, given our condom-less state.

But the way he was looking at me, I felt my internal temperature slowly tick, tick, tick upward. One small degree at a time.

"I never go to Seattle because it sucks staying in that house," he said quietly.

Carefully, I lowered the fork and set it on the empty plate on the floor, but I kept my eyes on him.

"Adele was never abusive to me, so don't misunderstand. And as I got older, I was just as much to blame for how things are. But I was always aware of how much I wasn't her child. Even before Finn was born."

My heart squeezed painfully, but I stayed quiet.

"She loves children who aren't her own; she found her calling in that center," he continued. "But for some reason, I was the one she couldn't love. And when you have that in your face your entire life, even if it's unspoken, it takes a toll."

"I'm sure it does." I slid closer, picking up his inked hand and kissing the knuckles. I had a thought but rolled it around in my head a couple of times before I said anything. "It must have been hard for your dad when your mom died. Cancer, right?"

He nodded. "We don't really talk much about those years. He married Adele about a year after my mom died."

"You don't look much like your dad," I hedged.

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "No, not that I remember my mom—I was too young when she got sick—but from pictures, I look exactly like her."

"Maybe," I said slowly, "I could be wrong, but maybe Adele hated that reminder, and that's why she never let herself treat you the way you should have been treated or loved you the way you deserved to be loved."

Bauer's eyes searched my face carefully, and I held my breath that I hadn't said the wrong thing.

He swallowed. "I never thought of it that way before. I usually just tried my best to piss her off once I got old enough."

I smiled. "Color me shocked."

Flopping onto his back, Bauer pulled me next to him so that I was tucked into his side. My fingers traced that clock tattoo on his chest. As he spoke, the rumble in his chest was a delicious rumble under my ear. "I hate that that makes sense to me, princess. I don't want to understand because it was easier to just ... dislike and avoid."

I propped up on my elbow so he could see my face. "There's nothing wrong with reacting the way you have. And I don't say it to suddenly make you love Adele or want to have a relationship with her." I shrugged a shoulder. "I just like to figure people out. Why they do what they do, what the consequences are for the people in their life."

"Adele doesn't have much in the way of consequences, considering she never has to see me." He sighed. "And I think my dad and Finn are just so used to me not being around that they don't care much either."

A rebuttal of that statement was right on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it down because I didn't want to push too hard.