Every Wrong Reason(62)

Jay jerked his chin up, “I’ll get it.”

Andre took a step toward him again in an attempt to shield me from his next threat, “Better watch your back until it’s in my pocket, culo.”

Jay’s jaw clenched dangerously, “I said I would get it.”

Andre stepped back again and turned his attention to me. “You’ll never find this knife.”

I understood what he was saying. I didn’t argue. “Okay.”

“And you don’t have any witnesses. Jay’s not going to talk. Are you, Jay?”

Jay didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. I did, though. I needed to reassure Andre I wasn’t going to turn him in. “Okay, Andre. I won’t say anything either.”

“It wouldn’t matter if you did or not,” Andre grinned. “There isn’t anyone to back you up.”

I nodded. I couldn’t stop nodding. “I get it.”

His smile died and he pinned me with a hard look. “Good.”

Andre and his thugs walked down the hallway with the kind of swagger that told me they believed they were completely untouchable. They believed they could act like thugs and threaten teachers and hold knives to other people’s throats and nothing bad would ever happen to them.

I watched them go and wondered if I would ever see Andre again. Sometimes things like this happened and the offending student never came back. As soon as their autonomy was questioned, they gave up school for good and left for the life they believed was inevitable. A life on the streets.

I couldn’t decide if I wanted Andre to come back or not.

On one hand, he was smart. Too freaking smart. He could do something with his life. He could go places. Do things.

On the other hand, he had threatened me.

This school.

My legs finally gave out and I slid down the lockers until I was a messy heap on the floor. I felt like bursting into tears, but I held them back. I had to make it through the rest of the day. I couldn’t breakdown now.

I’d wait until later… until I was locked safely in my home... until I was away from this place.

Jay slid down next to me and I jumped. I’d forgotten he was here.

He sat a foot away; his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He crossed his arms over his chest too and stared at his shoes thoughtfully.

I didn’t know what to say to him. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to yell at him for ever getting caught up in something so stupid. I wanted to hit him on the back of the head and ask what the hell he was thinking. I wanted to know why he owed Andre money and how he planned to get out of this mess.

I didn’t say anything.

He wouldn’t have answered any of my questions. And honestly, I was still trying to recover the ability to form words.

I was a trembling, terrified mess.

“Thanks, Ms. C.,” Jay finally said in a low, sincere voice.

I looked up at him, jerking through an especially bad shiver and nodded my head. “Don’t ever let that happen near me again.”

He looked over at me with big eyes. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

My fierce conviction was evident when I said, “I mean it, Jay. Next time I’ll call the cops before I ever step foot outside my classroom. Don’t think I won’t.”

“You should have done that today!” The look in his dark eyes told me he meant it. “In fact, you should never have come out here! Damn, Ms. C., what were you thinking? Isn’t there school policy or some shit? Next time call the police and lock your damn door.”

I ignored all of his valid points and growled, “Goddamn, Jay! There better not be a next time.”

His lips twitched like he was trying not to laugh and I wanted to smack him again. “There won’t be. At least not at school anyway.”

“You shouldn’t be messed up with this.” I dropped my face into my hands so that my words were muffled but still loud enough for him to hear. “You should know better. You’re too smart for this shit.”

“This shit?” This time I heard him chuckle but I chose to ignore it. “Besides, Ms. C., you have to say that. You’re my teacher.”

I let my hands fall to my lap, “Maybe I have to say it, but it’s also true. You’re brilliant, Jay. You could use that brain power for good.”

“Not where I’m from.”

“So move! Graduate from high school and move away. That neighborhood doesn’t define you. This city doesn’t define you. That’s something you get to decide. That’s your choice.”

His jaw clenched again and I started to worry I was pushing him too hard. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Because it is,” I promised him. “Talk to Ms. Chase about the opportunities there are for you in school. Talk to her about the ways to pay for it, the financial aid that’s available to you. Especially you, Jay.”

He didn’t say anything for a really long time and when he did, it wasn’t exactly reassuring, but it was better than nothing. “Maybe.”

“That’s all I ask,” I gave him a shaky smile. “And that you survive this year.”

“I can say definitely to that,” he grinned back. “What about you, though? You going to be all right?”

I looked down at my trembling hands. “I think so. I need a stiff drink, but I think I’ll be okay.” I looked up at him quickly. “I mean, coffee. I need a strong cup of coffee.”