Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(9)

Four walls.

Two bodies.

One love.

We lose all that doesn’t matter—our clothes, yesterday’s memories, tomorrow’s plans. On a dirty drop cloth, over a cold floor, surrounded by musky sweat and grease … We embrace each other and these stolen minutes. The last two people on Earth.

His lips move down my body as I arch my back, closing my eyes.

Our fingers thread together, clenching, claiming, holding on to this moment.

He sits up, pulling me onto him, nose to nose as he whispers, “I’m never letting you go.”

Four walls and this man—nothing else matters.

My hips rock into his, feeling him deep inside of me. “I love you now …” I close my eyes and move with his body. Kissing my way up his neck, I stop at his ear, “I will love you always.” My eyes squeeze shut, forcing out a few residual tears. “Please don’t ever forget it.”

We cling to each other. Maybe if we’re strong enough, we can make it through the storm without being ripped apart, stranded—completely alone.

God … I hope we’re strong enough.

*

“Good morning.” Griffin hands me a cup of coffee as I drop my tired ass onto the kitchen chair.

I smile—the shy kind that’s afraid to confront what happened over the past ten hours. Last night rivaled the make-up sex we had after Griffin’s birthday. He didn’t want to talk then. He wanted to take. Looking back, I think he wanted to prove that nothing mattered outside of us.

Last night I begged for silence and the physical reassurance that I’m still that woman he fell in love with. I’m still that woman enraptured in all things Griffin Calloway. Last night I needed to lose myself in us, overwhelmed with the need to shut out everything beyond our four walls.

Today I will return to Nate’s house with its haunting memories of me clinging to him, the familiarity of his embrace, and the most haunting part of all … I think Nate may be right.

I’m Daisy.

Griffin inspects me in silence as he sips his green protein drink.

My lungs reach for a breath of courage. I owe him an explanation. He gave me everything last night, without question. “If I walk away from this job…” I slowly trace the pad of my finger over the rim of my coffee mug “…it won’t change the memories I have of the past.”

His expression hardens ever so slightly. Silent and stoic.

“I don’t want you to get mad at me. But I don’t want to lie to you either. This walking-on-eggshells thing won’t work forever. You ask me about my day, and…” I shake my head, shake off the pain that’s suffocating me “…I know it’s not small talk. You really want to know about my day—about me.”

I reach across the table, resting my hand on his. He stares at our hands with a blank look.

“And I love you so much for that. But this other person in my head keeps stealing minutes from my day, making it her day. So when you ask me that question, I feel like the truth will pull us apart, but so will a lie. So …” I shrug. “It hurts—” Tears burn my eyes, but I don’t give them life. “The thought of losing you is unbearable.”

His gaze crawls along the table between us, making its way to meet mine. I see my whole world in his eyes, but when I close mine, I see many worlds. Immutable images. I feel deep love and loss. And I hear voices that won’t be silenced.

“Right now … who are you?” he asks.

I ease out of my chair and slide my leg over his lap, putting us face to face. “I’m Swayze.”

And I am. Right now. With him. I’m Swayze Samuels. Daughter to Krista. Fiancée to Griffin. Nanny to Morgan. And employee to Professor Nathaniel Hunt.

The line is there. I can see it. But I fear that time will blur it.

“I love you.” He brushes his lips over mine.

Swayze. He loves the girl he saved in the grocery store. That’s who he wants to marry. I want to be her. She has the perfect man. A future filled with promise. A loving family. Health. Youth. Endless possibilities.

“She loves you too.” I softly kiss his top lip and then his bottom lip.

Griffin shakes his head, fingers curling into my hips. “Don’t say that. Don’t talk in some fucking third person like a schizophrenic.”

I frame his face to stop his head shaking. “I love you. I’m going to marry you.” These words are for him, but they’re also for me.

If I lost an arm, I’d still be me. If I shaved my head, I’d still be me. If I lost all memories, I’d still be me. I need to carry this one absolute truth with me at all times.

“I have to get to work. Let’s go out for dinner tonight and plan a wedding.”

After a few blinks, Griffin surrenders something resembling a smile. “Good idea. I don’t want a long engagement.” He nuzzles his face into my neck.

I hug him. This is the only embrace I want comforting me for the rest of my life.

*

I pull into Nate’s driveway a few minutes early and call the detective working on Erica’s case. He tells me there’s too much inconclusive evidence to question Doug Mann any further. There was no sign of foul play. It was an accident. Case closed.

She slipped and hit her head while getting into the bathtub and she drowned.