Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(5)

His head jerks straight again, brow pulled tight. “Nate and her were friends? Or were they more than friends? Who does he really see when he looks at you?”

The girl he loved as much as the woman who died giving birth to his child.

“A ghost.”

And they were more than friends. Nate left me hanging with their story. I don’t know what happened after they broke up. Did she die? Is that how things ended with them? A ridiculous clashing of egos? A modern day Pride and Prejudice?

“How old was she when she died?” he asks.

When Doug Mann murdered her.

“Fifteen.”

“Was he fifteen too?”

I nod. Why are the words stuck inside? Griffin is the man I love. My friend. My lover. My future husband. Yet, I can’t find the right way to explain the emotional connection I have to Nate and Morgan.

To a past I can’t fully remember.

To a present with its claws curled into my heart.

To a future more terrifying than my worst nightmares.

To an unknown that could ruin my existence as I know it.

“Was he in love with her?”

“Does it matter?”

Griffin rests his elbow by the window and massages his temples. “Yes, it matters. I want to know if he’s looking at you like a buddy or the girl he lost his virginity to.”

“They didn’t have sex.”

He grunts sarcasm. “I fucking love that you know that. He hired you to watch his daughter, not discuss his sex life. What else do the two of you discuss?”

“Griffin …”

Rubbing his hand over his mouth, he shakes his head, but he won’t look at me.

“You’re not this guy. You don’t get jealous. I’ve done nothing wrong. It’s not my fault these memories and images are in my head. My relationship with Nate is complicated, but it’s not intimate.”

“To you or to him?”

“I just said—”

Griffin shoves open the door and tears out of the vehicle like it’s suffocating him. I jump out and chase after him as he paces the empty lot, head down, hands laced behind his neck.

“I’m marrying you. You. You. You.” As soon as I get in front of him, he pivots and stalks the other way.

“Well, who the hell am I marrying?” He whips around, bending forward to get in my face. “Swayze? Morgan Daisy Gallagher?”

“Me.” My voice cracks as I blink back the tears.

“And who are you?”

“Swayze.”

The tension in his face eases a bit. “Are you sure?”

I push all the anxiety, all the fear, and all the confusion down into a dark hole I think is my soul. And I breathe in as much courage as I can muster, tipping my chin up. “Yes.”

He grabs my face and rests his forehead against mine. Without a confession, I feel his guilt. Without a single word, I feel his love. Let this be one more day where I’m granted the miracle of not losing Griffin.

*

“You’re quiet.”

I tickle Morgan’s feet as she kicks and coos on the living room floor while Nate packs his lunch. I took one day off for the funeral. Maybe I should have taken two.

“Just waiting for you to leave, Professor. That’s when Morgan and I get the party started—bounce house, ponies, clowns, a DJ, cotton candy.”

He glances up with a smirk on his face. I fall short of matching it.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It? This is the first he’s attempted to have a conversation beyond Morgan since Erica died—not that we’ve had that many opportunities.

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Your friend’s death. Why Griffin asked you about Daisy? Or that diamond ring on your left hand.”

The ring. I glance at it. “Erica’s dead. The guy who killed her still lives in the apartment across from hers. They’re calling it an accident. She slipped, hit her head, and drowned. I don’t believe it. Seriously, how many people slip in the bathtub, get knocked out, and drown?”

I frown, looking at my ring. “And Griffin proposed to me. I said yes.”

Nate returns a cautious nod. “If what you believe about this man is true … I don’t think you should be living in that building.”

“I’m not. I moved in with Griffin.”

He nods again. “Should I say congratulations?”

I laugh. “Only if you want to.”

There’s a pregnant pause.

“I’m surprised you don’t want to talk about Daisy. You always want to talk about her.”

I guess he’s not going to congratulate me.

“I do want to talk about her.” He has no idea how badly I want to talk about Daisy and her death. “But you have five minutes before you need to be out the door. Five minutes won’t be enough time.”

“Can you stay when I get home? I’ll bring dinner.”

“I don’t think Griffin wants me having dinner with you.”

“He doesn’t trust you?”

“Try again.”

Nate grins. “Me? Did I do something to lose his trust?”

“Yes. You suggested I’m Daisy.”

“Ah, so now I’m crazy in his mind?”