Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(10)

Daisy drowned. Daisy’s death was an accident.

Except … my memories tell a different story.

I take a deep breath to calm my anger before opening the door to Nate’s house. “Good morning.”

“Shh … in my office.”

I peek around the corner. “She’s still asleep?”

Nate glances up as he slips his laptop into his messenger bag. “Yes. She was up earlier. For whatever reason, she wanted to smile and giggle at 4:00 a.m.” He fists a hand over his mouth to hide his yawn. “I’m going to feel it later today.”

I offer him a hint of a smile, trying to move past last night and everything the detective just told me.

“Did you sleep well?” Nate saunters toward me.

I turn and lead the way to the kitchen. “Well enough.” Not that well. Sex. I had endless sex with Griffin until my mind let go of what happened here, with you, Nate.

“Coffee?” He holds up the pot before filling his cup.

“Just had some, but thank you.”

He pours it and brings the cup to his mouth, eyeing me with an unreadable expression. “You seem distracted.”

An understatement.

“Can I ask you something?”

Nate takes a sip and rubs his lips together. “You can ask me anything.”

“If I admit that I’m Daisy, can we forget about it?”

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead, brushing his wayward curls. “You believe it?”

I shrug. “For lack of any other explanation … yes.”

His chin dips into a contemplative nod. “You didn’t just wake up this morning with recognition of her life?”

“No.”

He fails at masking his disappointment.

“I feel like you want me to admit that I’m her. The books in your nightstand confirm it.”

There’s not an ounce of shock on his face. He knows I’ve been snooping.

“I think there’s a chance that you’re right. And I’m not sure what the protocol is for this, but no matter what memories I have from another life, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m Swayze Samuels in this life.”

“So you want to forget about everything?”

I grunt a painful laugh. “I don’t think I have the option to forget anything. Unless they invent an off switch for the brain. I just don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll try to keep all of my comments relevant to things I would know about you in this life, and you’ll stop looking at me like …”

“Like?” He slips an apple and protein bar into the back pocket of his bag.

“Like … I don’t know. Like anything other than the twenty-one-year-old nanny that I am.”

“You want us to pretend.”

“No … yes. When you say it that way it sounds ridiculous. You know what I mean.”

His teeth rake along his lower lip several times while he eyes me. “This is causing problems between you and Griffin?”

My gaze drops to my feet. “Sometimes. I don’t want to lose him. It’s not fair to ask him to share me with another life. It’s insane to ask him to understand. And I’m tired of feeling ripped down the middle.”

“Okay.”

My head snaps up. “Okay?”

Nate nods. “We won’t talk of it again. Your happiness comes first.”

“Don’t say that. An employer wouldn’t say that.”

He chuckles. “I disagree. A good employer would want a happy employee.”

“Happy? Yes. As in, maybe leave a little more food in the house. Or trusting me enough to not need constant surveillance. That would make me happy. Happiness implies more. It implies you have concern for my future beyond this job. I don’t want you to be invested in my happiness.”

Nate flinches. It’s slight, but I don’t miss it. He slides the strap to his bag over his shoulder and snatches his coffee. “I’ll stop by the grocery store on the way home. Text me with your list of food.” His tone is a little abrasive. “If you were my friend Daisy, I’d shut off the cameras. I know Daisy. I trust her implicitly. Swayze is a twenty-one-year-old nanny whom I’ve not known long enough to warrant such implicit trust. The cameras stay on. Have a good day, Swayze.”

Ouch.

I bite my tongue. He’s respecting my wish. I have to let it go. I just didn’t imagine it feeling like this.

“Good day, Professor Hunt.”

My words make him pause at the back door. I wait for him to turn back toward me. I wait to see the pain on his face. He doesn’t turn. He doesn’t show me his reaction. And that’s for the best.





CHAPTER FOUR





Weeks pass without mention of Daisy. Each night I leave Professor Hunt’s house with a lukewarm goodbye and hurry home to my fiancé. We immerse ourselves in wedding planning and dinners with his family and my mom. I find a rhythm to my life again.

I wish I could say I don’t think of Daisy, or Erica, or the free man who murdered them. I wish I could say I don’t miss the friendship I had with Nate. I wish I could say everything in life is mind over matter.

I wish …

“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I ask Nate as he goes through his morning routine in the kitchen while Morgan rolls around on the floor, working her way up to all fours only to flop back down to her tummy and take off rolling again.