Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(77)

After a few seconds of nothing but Morgan’s little squeals and giggles, I turn my gaze to hers. “I should have saved you over two decades ago. I didn’t. Someone had to save you this time. Someone had to ensure your safety. Someone had to give you a chance at a long life filled with happiness.”

Her mouth falls open, and she shakes her head slowly. “Nate …” She presses her hand to my cheek.

No …

“You killed for me. You risked everything for me. Your love for me knows no boundaries. You’re my someone.”

No …

Swayze kisses me. I jerk back so fast it startles her. The pain and embarrassment on her face slashes my heart. God … I want to kiss her. I want to be her hero, her everything, but …

“I’m not your someone.”

She flinches like I just slapped her in the face. “Why are you being this way? Why kill a man for me and then reject me? Don’t you want me? Is there something wrong with me?” Tears fill her eyes. “Am I not enough like her? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Tell me, because right now I feel like I’m losing my mind. Like that kiss meant nothing.”

I scrub my hands over my face, shaking my head. “That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

I stand, blowing out a frustrated breath while resting my hands on my hips. Morgan drops back down to her bottom and chews on a toy. It must be nice to be disconnected from the heartbreak of the world.

“Swayze, you’re everything. The stars and the earth. The sun of a million lifetimes. You’re the girl I fell in love with. You’re the woman I want to love. You’re Morgan’s every smile. You’re my peace of mind. My salvation. You’re beautiful beyond words. Smart. Sexy. Just … everything. Except … mine.”

She eases to standing, hands fisted, jaw clenched. “Stop talking about him.” Anger laces her words.

“Swayze.” I go to cup her face with my hand.

She jerks away. “Don’t Swayze me. And don’t touch me unless you’re going to touch all of me. Unless you’re going to kiss me like you did before. Unless you’re going to help me forget him.”

She laughs, but it’s a crazy kind of painful laugh. “You killed a man for me. You have to be my someone. If that’s not fate, then what is? I just … I just …” Tears fill her eyes as she hugs herself. “Love me—” Her words crack or maybe she cracks.

I grab her face and kiss her cheeks, her nose, her jaw … I kiss her everywhere, teetering on the edge of control, but I don’t kiss her mouth. And it’s killing me.

Her hands cover mine, clawing at my skin as her lips chase mine, desperate for what I won’t—what I can’t—give her.

“Love me …” she says in an anguished, strangled sob.

“I do.” My grip on her tightens while my heart slams into my chest, pushing all the raw emotions into the pit of my stomach where they will stay.

“Kiss me … please.”

My forehead presses to hers, rocking back and forth as I pinch my eyes shut. “No.”

“Yes.” She moves her hands to my face, trying to hold me still so her mouth can find mine.

“No!” I grab her hands, stilling them.

“W-why?” she cries, crumbling into a fit of sobs. Her body collapses into mine.

I hug her to me. “Because I’m not. Your. Someone. Do you get that?” I refrain from kissing the top of her head. It’s so instinctual by this point. “But I would have been. I would have risked it all for you. For over two decades, I’ve felt this gnawing guilt that I didn’t save you.”

I hold her at arm’s length. She hiccups on her emotions.

“I didn’t kill Doug Mann. But …”

Her face contorts into something even more painful or confused. “But what?”

This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to know—ever.

“Tell me!”

“But someone killed him to save you—to protect you.”

She blinks out more tears as her lips part, eyes unfocused. “Don’t,” she whispers, frozen in place as if my words shot into her like a tranquilizer. Her head inches side to side. “I need to hate him. Don’t … don’t do this.”

As long as Griffin Calloway is alive, she will never be mine. I knew it the first time I met him—the way he looked at her. It was the way I looked at Daisy. It’s how I look at Morgan now—like they’re your whole world.

Griffin didn’t have to tell me he killed Doug, but he did. He walked to the edge of the world and jumped off the fucking cliff just to make sure no one would ever hurt her.

She’s not mine. And she never will be.

He asked me to keep an eye on her, to make sure that she finds happiness, because that’s what people do when they love someone to the depths of their soul.

She’s not mine. And she never will be—not in this life.

So I did my part. I asked Dr. Albright to betray Swayze’s trust, to trick her. I risked my future as well as Griffin’s future by confessing the murder. But deep down, I knew Dr. Albright would understand. And she did. The only way to save Swayze from self-destruction was to betray her. Both Dr. Albright and I will take that secret to our graves, knowing that a young woman has a chance at happiness because of that lie.