Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(76)

“Three tickets?” she asks.

“Two.”

“You suck.”

“I’ll give you the week paid.” I toss my tie over the back of the chair and smile at Morgan as I unbutton the top two buttons of my shirt.

“You’re going to miss me. You’re going to wish you had Morgan’s unicorn nanny with you.”

She has no fucking idea how much I’m going to miss her.

“She needs a Swayze detox. Maybe by the end of spring break she’ll smile at me like she smiles at you.”

Like I smile at you.

“You suck.” She frowns.

Yeah, I’m going to miss this woman every day for the rest of this life.

“You said that. Get some new material.”

“You really suck. Where’s my winter bonus. I’ve never been to D.C. Would it kill you to bring the world’s best nanny with you?”

“How am I going to explain why I need the nanny with me to go visit Morgan’s aunt and uncle?”

She crosses her arms over her chest as I sit on the sofa, playing with Morgan, who’s cruising around the furniture like a champ.

“We could drop the nanny label. I could be your friend. You know, we used to be friends.”

If only …

Yeah, I want to be her friend. I want to be her everything. But it’s not our time.

“My dead friend, Daisy, or my twenty-two-year-old friend, Swayze? To their ears, both scenarios will be equally cringe-worthy.”

“So you’re never going to tell your family or Jenna’s family about us?”

“Us?” I give her a questioning brow raise. “Again, are we talking about my dead friend?”

“No. We’re talking about me, Swayze. You know, the girl you kissed. The girl you imagined giving you head after I sent you the wrong text.”

“I didn’t imagine—”

“Bull! Don’t even try that with me. Griffin told me there’s no way you weren’t thinking inappropriate thoughts. And that’s fine. Because I had inappropriate dreams about us. I looked at the picture and wondered what it would feel like to kiss those lips, run my hands through those wavy locks. And now I know because you kissed me. And I want you to do it again. But not on my head like you’d kiss the family dog. I want you to kiss me like you did against that wall over there. But this time I don’t want you to stop kissing me.”

Fuck me …

I want to just say screw it, put Morgan to bed, and take everything Swayze’s offering me. She makes me want to be selfish and indulgent. But I can’t …

“You’re not mine to kiss.”

“Stop saying that!”

I shoot her a disapproving glare as Morgan startles from the outburst like she might cry. But as soon as she sees Swayze’s small, apologetic smile, she matches it and continues on with her cruising.

“Griffin doesn’t deserve my kisses. He doesn’t want my kisses. He left me alone in the same city as the man who wanted to kill me. Why do you defend him? To ease your own guilt of not watching out for me?”

“Nothing happened to you.”

“But it could have! Stop taking credit for luck, as if you somehow knew—” Her face turns ashen, like the blood in her veins just turned to ice. A whoosh of air sweeps past her lips, and her brow tenses as if she can’t find her next breath.

I know the feeling because I know where this is going. The reality feels like my own lungs are nothing more than two sandbags bearing down on my chest.

I avert my gaze to Morgan. I can’t even look at Swayze. Not when she’s putting it all together.

“Oh my god … How could I be so blind? All the unanswered questions. That night when I grilled you about Doug’s death, when I really pushed you … you kissed my neck, the one place you knew would render me speechless. The ultimate distraction. It wasn’t your physical desire for me. It was all mental. You manipulated me.”

“Swayze …” I glance up at her.

“No …” She shakes her head, eyes narrowed at me. “Doug Mann, the master at staging murders to look like accidents or suicides, committed suicide himself. It never sat well with me, but I let the relief distract me. But that’s not what happened, is it?”

“Doug was murdered. Someone did to him exactly what he did to Daisy, and Erica, and who knows how many other women.”

Her hand covers her mouth. “Oh my god … you killed him.”

I shake my head, returning my attention to Morgan. Yes, I know I look as guilty as a man caught on camera pulling the trigger, but I don’t know what to do. My job is to watch her and protect her. How do I protect her from the truth?

“That’s how you knew I was safe. That’s why you didn’t ask about my progress with Dr. Albright. That’s why you didn’t act surprised when I said he was dead. You didn’t even blink. That’s why you said what you did. You’re safe because those who claim to love you actually do love you.”

She runs her hands through her hair. “Of course … who better to know how to kill someone and make it look like suicide than an anatomy professor?”

Her hand clenches at her chest as she kneels on the floor beside my feet, demanding my attention. “Why would you do that? You have a child. Why risk everything for me?”