Damien (Slater Brothers #5)(112)

Instantly, I put up a wall and shut them all out without giving them the chance to explain what Morgan had told me. I was angry and hurt. I still was, but now that I had time to sit back and think about everything, I realised I only had one side of five different stories.

I knew I had to go see the group and hear them out, but doing that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. My heart was hurt. I felt so insufficient and kept wondering if something was so untrustworthy about me that it made everyone lie to me. I had always thought I was a nice person, someone anyone, especially my friends and partner, could confide in, but I wasn’t.

Bronagh and Damien’s betrayal hurt the worst. Bronagh was my best friend, someone who I thought shared everything with me, as I did with her, but knowing she willingly kept what happened from me cut me deep. Damien’s betrayal hurt in an entirely different way. I loved him. I loved him more than I should for the time we were together, but I couldn’t change that.

What I feared happening from the very start had taken place. Damien and I had ended, and I was in more pain than I was the first time around because this time, love was shared, a deep connection was shared. I couldn’t sleep, I barely ate, and when I tried to work, all I did was sketch and paint Damien’s face. He was on my mind constantly … and so were the things he and my friends had done.

Murder.

They had murdered people. Took the lives of other human beings. No matter how long I sat and thought about it, no matter what way I looked at it, I could scarcely believe it to be the truth. The people I knew were loyal and fiercely protective, they were some of the best men I had ever known, and to learn of them committing such acts of horror completely blindsided me. If I hadn’t heard them admit to such deeds, I would have never truly believed Morgan.

Morgan, who had kept his word. He left my apartment and not returned. I received an email from him letting me know he was deleting his account but had transferred all my client emails to my inbox, as well as a detailed explanation on how to keep my system in order. I didn’t delete the message because I knew I would need it , so I didn’t fall back into my previous disorganised ways, but when I thought of Morgan, I felt so foolish. I couldn’t believe I’d let a stranger into my house, someone who could have truly hurt me, and was none the wiser. I told myself what came to be was never something I could have ever imagined but being tricked by him left a sour taste in my mouth.

The whole situation did.

“Alannah?”

I looked at my ma and blinked.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed. “I’m not with it at all today.”

She put her arms around me and gave me a hug.

“Isn’t it Jax’s birthday today?”

My shoulder’s slumped. “Yeah, he’s one.”

“Are you goin’ to drop by and see ’im?”

I shrugged. “I don’t want his day to be turned into a big argument, so I was goin’ to go up to Kane and Aideen’s apartment and leave his card and gift outside so they could give it to ’im for me.”

A lump formed in my throat knowing I was goin’ to miss his big day, but I kept myself in check. My parents said nothing, probably sensing my emotional mood on the subject. They quickly changed the subject back to something mundane, then two hours later, I found myself back in my apartment complex and walking up the stairs to Kane and Aideen’s apartment.

I had my large gift bag in my hand that had small toys, two outfits, some sweets, a portrait I drew of Jax from a recent picture I took of him and a handmade card. When I was outside the door, I could hear the kids inside, and I heard a lot of other voices as well which almost stopped my heart.

It was after seven, so I didn’t expect anyone to be still at the party that I knew Aideen and Kane were holding for Jax. I received my invite in my postbox in the lobby a week ago. I quickly put the bag down outside the door, rang the doorbell, then turned and briskly walked down the hallway, back towards the stairwell. I knew ringing the doorbell was a mistake the second I realised just how far away the stairwell was from the apartment. I heard noise from behind, then, “Alannah, wait!”

I froze and turned around in time to see Kane bend down and pick up the gift bag. When he looked at me, he smiled tentatively and said, “Come in and see the birthday boy. He misses you.”

I scowled. “Usin’ that baby against me is low, even for you.”

Kane shrugged. “I never said I was going to play fair.”

I didn’t move.

“Come in and see Jax,” Kane urged. “You don’t have to look or talk to anyone else.”

I hesitated, but the need to see Jax beat out the option to run away.

“Five minutes, then I’m leavin’.”

Kane smiled as I walked toward him, then stepped back as I entered the apartment that was like mine, just way bigger.

“Living room.” He gestured with his hand. “He’s in there.”

And so was everyone else, I found out the second I entered the room and found all eyes were on me. The first person I locked eyes on was Damien, and my knees nearly buckled when I saw the state of him. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin a little pale, and though he looked put together, he was anything but.

I dropped my eyes, and looked at no one else, until squeal and screech sounded. I smiled when the kids realised I was in the room. I silently took Georgie from her mother because she was screaming in delight for me to do so, and I did the same with Jax because he was having a nervous breakdown that I held his cousin and not him. I kissed Locke who was in his uncle JJ’s arms and grinning at me like the little stud he was.