Broken Pasts(12)

“I want a new dad,” she told me and I blinked in surprise. Her face was locked into such a deep frown that there were two lines running down the sides of her chin like a marionette. I sat there in silence for a moment while I waited for her to continue. She didn't.

“How come?” Nathaniel asked for me, still smiling softly. It looked good on that strong face, like he could crush a car but also like he could pick up a butterfly without harming it.

“Because I don't like mine,” she said as if that was obvious. “He gives Angie, Carrie, and Mina anything they want. He doesn't let me go see Grandpa B. and Grandma G., and he told me that I didn't come from his penis.” A rush of anger struck through me, fighting with my reaction to Nathaniel for supremacy. We were back to penises again which was good, in a way, but the fact that Glen had told Rhea she was adopted without my consent or knowledge, even in a roundabout way, was infuriating. I clenched my purse in my fist and tried not to scream. That could come later, when I got Glen on the phone. “Mom,” she asked tentatively, as if this was the most important thing in the world. “Am I a part of you?” I thought for a long moment about how to answer, what would constitute a lie, how important the truth was in that moment. I looked her straight in the face when I said.

“The most important part of all.”

***

“I want to apologize again,” Nathaniel said later, after we'd come home and Rhea had taken a bath and gone to bed. I'd hardly gotten any work done, too occupied was I with wanting to kill Glen and Gary. A husband is supposed to be a partner, someone to take on life with you, not throw the worst parts of it in your face. Not stand outside your house and stare like a f*cking lunatic which is what Gary had done for over an hour after we'd come home to find him outside. Nathaniel had recorded the entire thing out the window while Rhea and I had hidden in her room, playing video games. Now he was finally gone and I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. “I was completely inappropriate and in front of your daughter, too. I'd like to refund some of your money.” I stared at him for a long moment, trying to process his words. True to size, too. Okay, so maybe it was a little inappropriate, but it had also been wildly sexy. Rhea hadn't understood, so where was the harm?

“No,” I said as I shook my head and opened the freezer, eyes locked on the last remaining drops of my Jägermeister. If there was ever an appropriate time to have some, it was now. I poured the rest into a glass. “You're more than doing your job. I won't accept a refund.” Nathaniel paused with his hands resting on the blue tiles of the island.

“Then let me at least give you an extra couple days of protection, no charge.” I sipped the Jäger quietly for a moment and then once again, shook my head. Nathaniel was beautiful and interesting and different. Dangerous. He was dangerous. In solving this mystery, I was going to get involved. Two days of knowing him and already, I was enraptured. I couldn't do this.

“No,” I said and nearly dropped my glass when there was a knock on the door. Nathaniel smiled at me, but it was kind of … sad. I stared into his eyes for a moment that stretched into forever. He was searching me for something though I couldn't say what.

“Cedric,” he explained and I couldn't control the slump of disappointment that surged through me. I'd just told myself that I wanted the man to leave and now that he was, I wanted him to stay. Okay, this is good. I needed to untangle myself from Nathaniel Sutherland before I ensnared myself. “He'll be here for awhile while I recharge.” I nodded and watched as he turned back towards the door.

“Wait!” I shouted and he paused, looking over his shoulder at me. “Um, will you be back in time for bowling night?” I had told Rhea the lie and although Jamie knew the truth, her family didn't. The less people that knew Gary was stalking me, the better. I did not want Glen to find out, especially when I was about to tear him to pieces; he'd be furious.

“What time?” he asked me and I could see that he would do whatever it took to fulfill my request. But why?

“Tomorrow at six,” I said, hoping that wasn't too early. I didn't know how this whole switching thing worked. Nathaniel smiled and this time, it was naughty.

“I'll be here,” he said. “And don't worry, I always come on time.” I choked on my Jäger and watched as he turned away and grasped the handle on the door. Did he really just say that? What is it with this man?

I didn't have long to speculate because when Nathaniel opened the door, I was greeted to a redhead who towered over Nathaniel's already massive form. He looked like a Viking. I glanced up at his face, surprised at how short I felt at five foot ten.

“Theresa McMaster, this is Cedric Bair.”

“Wonderful to meet you, Ms. McMaster,” Cedric boomed, stepping into the room and filling it to capacity with his hulking shoulders and a chest that was wider than I was tall. He reached out a massive hand and shook mine in a surprisingly gentle grasp.

“Again, just try to pretend he isn't here. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'll be back tomorrow at five,” Nathaniel said and I could see that this last part was more for Cedric than it was for me. The man's shaggy red brows rose in surprise and he rubbed at his goatee with thick fingers. This was not usual protocol, I was certain about it now. Nathaniel left, closing the door quietly behind him. Cedric immediately moved forward and locked it with a rumbling chuckle. He wasn't quite the uptight, professional I was expecting either, but I knew that there was no way in hell Gary would even think of challenging the man whose head nearly brushed my ceiling. When he turned around, he locked his gaze on the archway between the kitchen and the living room and crossed his hands in front of him without another word.

“Why did you laugh?” I asked, catching a glint of amusement in Cedric's dark eyes. They were like two pieces of polished onyx, small in his large face but full of humor. In a weird way, he reminded me of Jamie. If I was even remotely correct, then he'd be a bit of a gossip.

“I apologize, Ms. McMaster,” was all he said as he maintained his position. God, he's good.

“You can tell me,” I said, hoping I could convince him to trust me. “I'm not the typical client.”

“Oh, I can already see that,” he said gruffly, trying to keep his face neutral when all he really wanted to do was grin big. I raised my eyebrows at him and put my hand on my hip. I had put on my leopard print robe in an attempt to attract Nathaniel's attention. It had worked. But Cedric didn't even look at me.

“How long would you normally switch out for?” I asked and Cedric answered me without emotion, like he was answering a questionnaire. Underneath his pleasant neutrality, I could see that he was bursting at the seams. I would get him to talk. If I could learn about Nathaniel while he wasn't here, maybe I'd get over my interest in him. Then, once this whole stalking thing was over, I could move on and try to embrace the fact that I was not alone but independent. Independent was good; it signaled strength, a solid frame of mind. I liked that.

“Well, Nathaniel's been overworked lately, so this time, we were going to switch up our usual routine and do forty-eight hours,” Cedric replied and I smiled. I knew it. “Guess something changed his mind though.”

“Thanks,” I said and turned as if I were going to head back into the kitchen. “Can I ask you another question?” I threw over my shoulder.

“Yes, Ms. McMaster,” he replied, still and silent in his brown suit and black loafers.

“Is it normal for a security officer to talk about his penis?”





CHAPTER 9

Rhea and I stayed home from work and school the next day. I was already having a hard enough time trying to explain Nathaniel's absence and Cedric's sudden appearance to the inquisitive nine year old. I didn't want to explain it to anyone else. Once I got her occupied on the couch with a book, Cedric and I sat at the dining table and talked. Unlike Nathaniel, all I had to do was invite him and he sat down and started to spill.

“Nate and I started this business about … ” Cedric paused to rub at his chin. “Oh, about nine years ago. I was never really into it, but I'm big and tough, so all I really have to do is stand there and the bad guys run.” He chuckled and his laugh shook the table and the vase of flowers on it. In a way, he kind of reminded me of Hagrid from the Harry Potter books. Maybe because that was the first thing Rhea had said when she'd seen him. “Besides, Gillian had just passed away and that put a fire under his ass like I'd never seen.”

“Gillian?” I asked, intrigued. This was it, I knew it. The key to understanding Nathaniel's mysterious actions was in this woman's name. Cedric looked around like he expected Nathaniel to be lurking around the corner.

“Gillian was Nathaniel's wife,” he said and then took a big breath, filling his massive chest with air. “You look quite a bit like her actually.” A frown pulled down the corners of my mouth like they were weighted. Oh. Wow. I am an idiot. Nathaniel's mystery was that I looked like his dead wife. Great. That explained the flirting and the sexual innuendo from moment one then. The sexy bodyguard didn't seem so intriguing anymore, like I had just peeled away his layers and could see right through him. But then, what about the hatred in his eyes when he looked at Gary? The way his face shut down after you asked about his job?