Blood Sisters(105)

Bella reminded her of a nicer Vanessa.

That triggered another memory too. Something about a girl called B … Barbara! Straight Fringe Barbara. The schoolgirl who had helped out in the home in her spare time and had got them together in a band. The one who had noticed when she’d been upset by Flabby Face Dad and had run off with her wheelchair until they’d been stopped at the end of a corridor.

It struck Kitty now that she’d liked Barbara because she’d reminded her of someone else. That was it! Her old best friend Vanessa. They’d both been nice at times but bossy at others. And they were good at music. Johnny had been in the band too. He’d loved her until he fell in love with someone else. But now she didn’t need any of them.

Because she had Bella instead.

Friday Mum and Alison came to visit the other day. They brought a kid too. It was yelling.

‘We’re going to make sure we can always look after Vanessa for you,’ said Friday Mum.

Who was Vanessa? Kitty had a vague memory of blonde plaits. Then it was gone again.

Then Half a Sister handed something to her.

‘My locket!’ said the machine.

‘They say you can wear it if you’re careful not to catch it on anything,’ said Friday Mum.

‘I’m not a fucking baby.’ Then she opened it. Inside was a picture of a pretty young girl. She had plaits and a sweet smile. It reminded Kitty of someone.

‘That’s you when you were younger,’ said Half a Sister. ‘I put it there when you weren’t … weren’t able to wear it.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I love you.’

Kitty felt something lurch in her heart. ‘I love you too.’

Then Half a Sister and Friday Mum looked as though they were going to cry. But the kid got in first.

‘Can you go now? That thing is hurting my head. I can’t think straight.’

They left soon after that. That was better! She could get on with her finger painting and then it was fishcakes for tea. And everyone – especially the new girl next door – thought the locket was lovely.





81


September 2018


Alison


I’m about to start a new class. I love this feeling. That sense of excitement. Hopefulness. Not just for my students. But for me too. This is the first stained-glass workshop I have done since my sentence. It will be a test, my counsellor says.

‘You hold your scalpel like this,’ I say to the class. ‘Always wear gloves.’

‘What if we cut ourselves?’ asks someone.

‘Let me know immediately. I have a first-aid kit ready.’

My own is in my head. Ready to jump into action if I feel that need to slice myself.

So far, so good.

There’s a knock at the door. I bite back that wave of irritation when a student is late and I have to go over my instructions again. Still, I’ve only just started …

I open the door. Then I stop. A man is standing there. In a blue and red jacket which is clearly too small for him. His hair is longer than when I last saw him. But he still bears the same anxious expression.

‘I know I haven’t signed up but the college said there was one place left.’ Robin’s eyes hold mine. ‘Is that all right?’

The weeks pass. All too soon it’s the day of the custody hearing. I’m so nervous that I can hardly breathe.

‘It will be all right,’ says Robin when I meet him at a café near the court. Mum has already gone inside to settle Vanessa.

‘Do you mean that?’

‘We’ve got a strong case.’

‘So has Johnny’s family. They’ve got more money.’

‘But you have the love.’

I’m not sure how this is happening but his hand is reaching out across the table and holding mine.

‘This isn’t the time or place to say it, Ali.’

I almost butt in to correct him. But in a weird way, the old Alison is no more.

‘I’ve always loved you.’ He looks down at his plate and then back at me. ‘I blame myself for that party.’

My head is spinning from the first part of his sentence. ‘Crispin’s? Why?’

‘Because I got you the invitation. I wrote one of Crispin’s essays for him so he’d give you one. I’d … I’d hoped that when we were there I might’ve been able to get closer to you.’

I’m confused. ‘But he said he’d asked me.’

‘He was jealous. I could tell that when I was foolish enough to confide in him. His words were … I’ll always remember them … “I thought there was more to that girl than met the eye”.’

I feel sick. ‘You can’t blame yourself.’

Robin’s eyes mist over. ‘Exactly what I keep telling you.’

We are still holding each other’s hands. ‘After the case,’ he says slowly, ‘I think we need to talk.’

‘Yes,’ I say simply.

Together we walk towards the court where Vanessa’s future will be decided. My heart is pounding again. But it is also singing.

For the first time in a long time, everything is beginning to feel right.

I feel sorry for Johnny’s family. Well, for his mother, anyway. It is clear – even to the family judge – that it is Jeannie who really wants the baby rather than her son. Johnny is there too but he keeps smooching with the girl next to him, just as he used to smooch with my sister. And his father hasn’t given a very convincing display of affection towards his granddaughter. ‘No,’ he admits, ‘I haven’t visited her.’