Black Buck(26)

I widened my eyes and shook my head.

He laughed. “That bad, huh? I know it’s tough, but I guarantee that this will be the best professional experience of your life, Buck. Seriously.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so. You’ll see.”

We split in the lobby. I headed out the door and Rhett went into the Starbucks. It was the first time in twelve hours that I’d tasted the sweet fresh air of May and heard the sounds of the city up close again.

I don’t remember much of the subway ride. But I do remember getting home, passing out, and hearing Ma crack the door open to ask if I was all right.

“Yeah,” I said, half-asleep.

“How was your first day?”

I can’t recall what I said, but I do remember thinking, If that was only day one, what the hell will the others be like?





8





Except for Mondays, work started at 8 a.m. But I was traumatized, so on day two, I got up at 6:15 a.m., took a quick shower, and headed into the kitchen.

Ma was in there sitting at the table reading a newspaper with a strong, frothy cup of coffee. The smell was sweet, like a tangerine, yet spicy with bright notes of acidity. Definitely a Salvadorian blend.

“Mornin’, Ma.” I planted a wearied kiss on her cheek. Even though I’d slept for almost ten hours, I was still exhausted, which made me fear for the long day ahead.

“Mornin’, Dar.” She folded her paper. “You were sleepin’ like a corpse when I got back from work. If I hadn’ gotten a response from you, I was gonna shake you to make sure you were alive.”

I laughed, pouring myself a bowl of cereal. “Yeah, I felt like a corpse.”

“So, how was it?”

What I wanted to say was Help me, Ma! They forced me to rap, pulled some KKK tar-and-feather shit on me, and made me write on a board until my fingers bled. Please, please, please don’t make me go back! But I couldn’t. Jason was out on the corner trying to provide a better life for his mom. I had to swallow my feelings. Ma had played mom and pops for my entire life, and it was time for me to take care of her.

“It was okay,” I said, taking a seat. “There’s three of us new hires. Well, there were four, but one kid left. And now we’re all workin’ hard to get some script down.”

“What happened to the other kid?”

I thought back to him, realizing I never knew his name. I saw sweat pouring from his red face, the desperation in his eyes as he looked around the room for help like a frightened animal.

“Jus’ wasn’ right for him,” I said with a shrug, and inhaled my bowl of cereal.

“Well, no matter how hard it gets, remember why you’re there, Dar. To become somethin’ and show the world what you’re made of. To let your light shine and be all I know you can be.”

“I know, Ma. I’ll try.” I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

“Oh, and Dar?”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“I was thinkin’ we could have another dinner on Friday. Me, you, Soraya, Jason, and Mr. Rawlings. To celebrate the end of your first week. I’ll cook some extra spicy turkey chili for you.”

“Sounds good, Ma. I love you,” I said, and rushed down the stairs so I wouldn’t be late no matter what.

When I rounded the corner, Soraya was sitting on a bench outside of the shop and wearing a black hoodie with HUDA SHA’ARAWI: GOOGLE HER on it. She was reading from a small stack of papers.

“Hey,” I said, surprised. “What’s up?”

“Helpin’ my dad open up,” she replied, her eyes glued to the papers. “Gotta new shipment of African black soap.”

“Oh really?”

She laughed. “Don’ worry, one already has your name on it.”

“Shukran, habibti. And what’re those?”

“Application papers. To be accepted to NYU’s accelerated nursin’ program I have to take six prereqs. I already did three at Hunter, but I’m gonna take summer courses for the rest and hope they accept me.”

“They will.” I lifted her chin toward me and our lips quickly connected. “When’s it due?”

“If I wanna start in the fall, I need to apply by June fifteenth. So a coupla weeks.”

“Okay,” I said, and kissed her once more. “Lemme know if you need any help.”

“I will. And wait, you never texted me last night. How was your first day?”

“I’ll tell you later!” I shouted, jogging toward the gargoyles.

“Come here, boy!” Wally Cat called.

I ignored him for the moment and gave Jason a quick dap. “You good?”

“Yeah, bro. How I look?” he said, still bruised but smiling.

“Like you got fucked up, but not bad.”

“Good lookin’. Tryna play some chess?”

“Nah, I gotta head to work.”

“Aight. I wouldn’ wan’ it wit’ me again if I was you either. But don’ forget what I said.”

“About what?”

“?’Bout those people in that fancy office not bein’ your people. Shit’ll get you got.”

“Whatever, man. Peace.”

I jogged over to Wally Cat and sat on a crate, checking the time. 6:58 a.m. I’ll be fine.