Bet on It (69)
Shame started to creep in, making his ears flame and his chest tight. He thought he’d known awkward dinner parties before, but this one had already taken the cake, and it hadn’t even started yet. His brain started flooding with excuses to hightail it out of there. He wondered how shitty it would be, on a scale of one to ten, to fake an emergency with Gram’s health.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” Jade said, wincing. “It’s not like we were friends or anything. I’m not, like, offended that you don’t remember me. I just thought it would be weird if I sat across from you all night knowing who you were and not saying anything to acknowledge it.”
Walker didn’t know what to say. He considered lying, telling her that he did recognize her, just for the relief he might feel once the awkwardness dissipated. But that didn’t feel right. He also didn’t know how he would keep up the lie if she wanted to take a stroll down memory lane. The only thing about high school that he remembered less than his classmates were the antics they’d gotten into.
“I’m sorry,” he said instead. “In high school I was … I wasn’t very friendly. I was goin’ through a lot of shit.”
“Yeah, I remember.” Jade smiled kindly at him. “And I’m sure all that small-town high school bullshit did nothin’ to help. Like I said, I’m not surprised you don’t remember me. I was way too concerned with myself in high school to reach out, even to people who obviously needed somebody to reach out to them.”
Her words weren’t an apology—not necessarily. But they were an acknowledgment, the first he’d gotten in Greenbelt from anyone except for his grandmother. It was a bizarre thing, the way it made him happy and angry at the same time.
“It’s not your fault,” he told her. “I needed more help than any of you could give me anyway.”
Jade shook her head, dissatisfied. “It still wasn’t right. Greenbelt should have been better to you, Wally,” she coughed. “I mean, Walker. It probably means next to nothin’ at this point, but those of us who have grown the hell up have realized that people deserved better from us. You deserved better from us.”
His jaw clenched tight, trying hard to hold back an onslaught of tears or words or unrestrained emotions. Yet again, Walker didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to convey what he was feeling because he didn’t know what that feeling was. All he knew was that it was more good than bad.
“Thank you,” he managed to choke out between his clenched teeth. “Thank you, Jade.”
She flashed him an understanding smile, her shoulders untightening when she turned back to her stirring.
Walker nearly gasped in relief when he heard the lock on the front door turn. Five people stumbled through the doorway, talking and laughing the way only people who knew each other well could.
Jade seemed a little startled as she put the top back on her pot and went to greet everyone. He and Aja stood, fingers brushing as they watched the exchange of kisses and hugs.
“I really am sorry,” Aja said. “I should have remembered we talked about you, that they knew you. Now I’ve put you in an awkward situation and I … I’m just really sorry. We can leave if you’re uncomfortable, OK? I’ll tell them that I’m not feeling well, and we can go.”
He was still trying to wrap his head around his feelings. It was disconcerting to be in a room of people who knew you—or, at least, knew of you—but who you didn’t remember. He wasn’t angry at Aja though. She wouldn’t knowingly put him in an uncomfortable situation.
He hooked his index finger and curled it around hers. “I’m all right, just a little shocked. But you don’t need to blame yourself, OK? Somethin’ like this was bound to happen at some point. I’m surprised it wasn’t sooner.”
“But you’ll still let me know if you want to leave? I don’t want you to suffer just for me. One dinner party isn’t more important than your mental health.”
“I will let you know if I want to leave,” he agreed.
“Promise?”
He lifted their hands and placed a dry kiss on the back of her finger. “Yes, Peaches, I promise.”
It was the first time he’d called her that outside of a sexual context, but it felt right. Settled. From the way her expression changed from distressed to pleased, he could tell Aja liked it just as much as he did. He looked at her for a while, glowing under his gaze even in the face of discomfort. Bright and beautiful, outshining every other thing in his head. He felt strengthened by her, and that strength was only bolstered by how she seemed to draw the same thing from him.
“Now, introduce me to your new friends before I start throwin’ my emotions up all over the cheese tray or somethin’.”
Chapter 23
“My heart is about to get broken.”
Dr. Sharp chuckled, unfolding her arms from across her chest to lean forward. Her face was all up in the camera, and Aja found it impossible to stray from her gaze.
“I didn’t know you had the power to see the future.”
Aja snorted. “I didn’t until I met Walker. Now I see the future coming from a mile away, and I’m scared it’s going to tear me apart. I thought that if I could prepare myself by knowing it was going to happen it would hurt less, but now I’m not so sure.”