Bet on It (67)

Walker lifted his head and looked at his surroundings. There was nothing but him and nature. So why did it feel like Benny was standing in front of him, eyes imploring and lips speaking words Walker simultaneously did and didn’t want to hear? He clenched his eyes shut. He didn’t know what the hell he wanted. He didn’t have any answers for his father because he didn’t have any for himself.

The prospect of rekindling his relationship with Benny was daunting. It was muddled with thoughts and feelings that were neither all bad nor all good. Benny was his father, and he didn’t hate him, not at all. But he couldn’t deny that the trauma he had suffered because of the man’s addiction had altered the course of his life completely. He knew his father had an illness, but everything Walker did and said and thought now were products of it. He’d never been able to escape the repercussions of Benny’s actions, but he had been able to escape the man himself. And there was something comforting about that. The type of soothing control that came with denying someone access to you.

It was a multifaceted issue, and Walker didn’t know if he had it in him to face it head-on. It was a heavy burden, and he’d never been too proud to cower when things started feeling impossible to handle. He’d thought that if he could ignore his father forever, he’d never have to confront his conflicting feelings about him. It was macabre, sure, but he figured they’d be those people who said nothing then died silently with their hearts filled with regret. But now it was becoming clear that wouldn’t be the case.

Benjamin Abbott was here, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Even if Walker did decide that he didn’t want a relationship, they’d be in the same state permanently. It might not happen immediately, but Benny would start coloring the edges of Walker’s life. Especially with him and Gram on better terms.

“Look, I don’t want to keep you any longer.” Benny spoke quietly after a long pause. He sniffled, and Walker wondered if he was crying. The thought made his heart contract. “Just … just know that I love you, boy. More than anything. And I’m sorry. I live with my guilt and my shame every day, but that pales in comparison to the pain and trouble I’ve caused you. You didn’t deserve it. You deserved better than me and your mama both. But I’m … I’m doin’ well, have been for a while. And I’d like you to see me like this. So, if you’d be willin’ to talk when I come into town, it would mean a lot to your old man. I … I love you. Hopefully I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”

Benny hung up almost as soon as he got the last word out of his mouth. It wasn’t until he heard silence on the other end that Walker was able to pull the phone away from his face. He stared at it. Eyes bleary and searching, as if the ridiculous little device he was so attached to had answers to the questions swirling around in his brain.

A bird flew overhead, the flapping of its wings breaking the silence, making Walker jump back into reality. He tucked the phone into his pocket, intending to continue his hike. But he only made it a few steps before he lost interest. It wasn’t going to be easy to keep his mind off this anymore. Not when things were becoming more complicated by the second.

He didn’t need a distraction. He needed … he needed a fucking bright spot. Something happy. Something that made him feel so good that his brain couldn’t help but provide him with relief.

Here, in this town, with these people, and his history—that wasn’t such an easy thing to come by. But it wasn’t impossible. Not when he knew someone whose mere name made him feel light. Not when he knew Aja Owens.

He pulled his phone out, finding her number in seconds and pressing the call button before he could convince himself to stop. Her voice was just as sweet as always when she answered. One word from her and his lips were already quirking up into a smile.

“Hey,” he responded, then cleared his throat. “Do you want to hang out today? I miss your face.”

He could practically hear Aja rolling her eyes, but he could also hear the smile in her voice when she answered. “I have a couple errands to run in town, if you want to cart me around,” she said. “But only because I don’t feel like driving.… Not because I miss your face or anything. Because that would be weird.”

The relief that enveloped him made his head fall back. He didn’t care if she wanted him to sit next to her while she watched paint dry—he’d do it happily. He just needed to see her. Anything. He’d do anything to be with her right now. “Give me an hour,” he said, already making his way back the way he came. “I’ll be there soon.”





Chapter 22


Walker had never been to an enjoyable dinner party. All the ones he’d attended had been stuffy. Full of food he didn’t care to eat and conversations he didn’t care to have. Granted, they’d mostly been work-related, but even the ones thrown by Corey and his girlfriend always ended with him needing a couple of days to recharge afterward.

When Aja had extended an invitation to go to one with her, he’d had half a mind to turn her down. But her question had sounded so desperate, as if she had been holding her breath waiting for his answer, that he hadn’t been able to say anything but yes. She’d told him that one of her new friends was throwing a dinner party with her boyfriend. The other two women in the group were bringing along people they were dating, and while they’d said that it would be fine for Aja to come solo, she was mortified at the thought of being a seventh wheel. So on Sunday evening, he found himself dressed in a starched button-down and slacks, sitting at an unfamiliar kitchen island with a fidgety Aja next to him.