Behind the Mask: A Rockstar Romance(59)

He nods, standing up and heading to where the band is. I look at Tegan and chuckle when I see her glaring at him. It looks like she’s not ready to forgive him either.

He starts singing Sia and Christina Aguilera’s “Blank Page.” It is a song that is different to what he normally sings. I feel his voice, the words shooting right through me. The camera zooms in on him and I feel mesmerized.

Stop falling. Stop falling. I scream in my head.

It’s like he chose this song for me, to apologize, to tell me that he knows he made mistakes. That he was scared. I stand up, getting closer to the TV, kneeling down, tears falling down my cheeks.

He hurt me. I can’t forgive him.

But why is the wall I built up starting to crack?

The song ends and he wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“That was beautiful,” the interviewer says, her voice softening.

“I just wanted to sing that if I could go back I would.”

The camera goes to the interviewer and I sit back, deflated.

“I can’t believe he admitted on live TV that he is in love with you.” Naomi comes to my side. “Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “Not really. Seeing him, seeing the Nate I feel for, it was hard. But it doesn’t change anything.” I stand up. “This is my life now.” I head to my room, wanting to lie down.

I lie there, staring up at the ceiling. My heart is screaming out to Nate, but I can’t go back.



It’s Friday night and I am singing out to the crowd, smiling. I have forgotten when the last time I smiled like this was. I sing each song with my whole heart, the crowd cheering me on. I have just finished the last song when the whole place turns dark.

Great, there’s a blackout.

I am about to grab my phone to get the torch when I hear Nate’s voice. He starts singing Chase Holfender’s “Stay with Me.” The whole place stays dark. I just face where I hear him. Hearing him not that far from me weakens me.

The chorus comes on and a light shines on top of him as well as on me. He is looking at me with sad eyes. I feel tears falling down my cheeks when he starts walking slowly toward me. When he gets on the stage, he takes my hand, continuing to sing to me.

I look up into his eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes.

He wipes the tears falling before cupping my cheek.

He steps in closer to me, his voice going straight to my soul. Why does he affect me so? He finishes the song and just continues to stare at me. I can’t form any words.

“Blair,” he whispers my name. It’s all too much.

I run away from him, past the crowd, who is going crazy that Nathaniel Knight is here. I push through until I’m outside and I freeze when I see roses, thousands of roses all over the floor and candle lights spread around.

He knew I would run.

I turn and see him standing there. It is just us alone. I feel my body shaking, seeing him so close to me. I have never been away from him for this long. It’s like my body is rejoicing.

“I can’t forgive you,” I tell him.

“I hope one day you will.” He starts to walk toward me. “I am so sorry, Blair. There are no words that I can say that will make all this okay, but I need you to know I love you.”

Hearing those words makes my body go into a frenzy.

“I can’t move on with my life unless I know I tried, that I told you that my heart, my soul, is yours.”

“Nate.”

“I love you. I love you with my whole heart. I just want you to be happy.” He stands in front of me, his hands going to my neck. “I missed you so much.” He looks intensely into my eyes like he is memorizing me.

“I can’t forget what you did. You changed me so easily. You broke my heart. I saw you with another girl and it literally broke me. Then you blaming me. You were always it for me, Nate, but I can’t,” I whisper, stepping away. I see tears falling down his cheeks.

“I understand. Have a nice life, Blair, be happy. Follow your dreams. If you ever need me, you know where I am.” He turns, walking away before he stops and faces me, running to me, his lips landing on me. Kissing me hard before pulling back and leaving.

I stand there, crying.

Why do I feel like what I did was a mistake?

I hold on to my stomach, letting pain once again sear into me.





“Are you sure you want to do this?” Naomi asks me.

I know I need to do this. It has been a month since I last saw Nate, and I know what I need to do. I haven’t been able to get him out of my head.

“Yeah. God, I’m so nervous.” I bounce up and down to get rid of some of this tension.

“I feel nervous for you. I still can’t believe you are going to do this.” She chuckles. “You are crazy.”

“I got it from you.” We head up the alleyway and knock on the back door. When I see Travis, we both scream. I jump, wrapping my body around him.

“God, girl, if that’s what it takes to get a girl to jump me, I need to do it more often.” I jump down, hitting his arm.

“Too bad you prefer men.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, it is a shame.” We both laugh. “Are you ready? They are on stage.”

I nod, my palms sweating.

“Yeah, so when is his last song?”