Behind the Mask: A Rockstar Romance(57)

He’s the one who fucked up, not me. I try to walk away but he grabs hold of my waist, singing the chorus over and over at me. Tears are falling down my cheeks. I am about to break. I try and break free, but he is too strong. Without thinking, I slap him hard across the face before running off the stage.

I hear Naomi calling out to me, but I keep on running.

I run outside. I fall onto my knees, and it’s then the sky decides to open up, rain pouring down. I cry so hard that I can feel my body shake from it. He had to hurt me more. I hear the doors open behind me.

God must hate me because my body starts to vibrate. I know it’s him who’s behind me.

“Now you know how it feels to hurt,” he viciously says. “You fucked me up for years, Blair. You are still fucking with me.” He stands in front of me, not caring that I’m on the dirty floor on my hands and knees getting soaked.

“You broke me,” I sob to him. “You broke me,” I scream out.

“Maybe you were already broken.”

I look up and he stands there glaring down at me. It’s when I look past him I see reporters filming this. I cry even more.

If I could go back to when Tegan warned me about this, I wouldn’t have auditioned, but I probably would have still been pining about this dick in front of me.

He bends down, moving some hair from my forehead. “To think it was you I would have given my heart to.” He looks at me like I’m nothing but dirt on his shoe.

“I don’t even think you have a heart.” I sniff.

“I did. Now I rather give it to the devil.” He stands up. The doors open again. I sigh when I feel Naomi come to my side, pulling me into her.

“What, you haven’t hurt her enough?” Tegan roars at him.

“Me hurt her? She has fucked with my head. She is stuck in here.” He points to the side of his head. “She won’t fucking leave,” he yells at me.

“What, so you think the answer is to fuck someone else? You messed up. She’s the victim, not you. You are just a pathetic little boy.” Tegan pushes him.

“Maybe if she opened her legs for me, I wouldn’t have gone elsewhere.”

I look up, feeling hurt and disgusted, when Tegan punches him in the face.

“You piece of shit.” She jumps on him. Sam and Troy try and pull her off, with her arms and legs flying around. “You disgust me.”

“Fuck this shit.” He walks away. I see him pulling out something from his pocket. More drugs.

How has so much changed in the last thirty-six hours?

“Let’s get you home.” Naomi helps me to stand. My clothes are soaked, and my teeth chattering.

“I quit,” I whisper.

“What?” Naomi asks.

“I quit,” I say louder. “I can’t do this. I want to get showered, then I’m grabbing the first flight home. I’m going home.”

“Whatever you want. Let’s get you warmed up.” Tegan comes to my other side and they help me in the changing rooms. I even ask them to come with me into the bathroom, where I fall to my knees in the shower, crying. Tegan and Naomi climb in, holding me, not caring that they are getting wet.

All I wanted was to sing.

I got to, but now I feel like I am not me.

He literally turned me into nothing.





A couple of weeks have gone by and my life still hasn’t settled. Naomi and I got a new apartment. No way am I living back in that house.

Too many memories.

Tegan made sure I got all the money owed to me and then some. I have enough money to live off comfortably for the rest of my life if I wanted. First thing I did was get us a place, which we turned into our own.

Nate went into rehab when the guys threatened to quit the band if he didn’t.

That night, me on my knees, it went viral.

Another thing that will always be around in cyberspace.

Fans weren’t happy with what they saw. They called him a bully and it was also the night Star disappeared. Seeing me on the floor wasn’t a sight I want to see again. I couldn’t even recognize myself. Seeing how detached Nate was. That is not the man I grew up knowing.

I know it was the drugs, but he got addicted. Tegan found out that last year he was using when with Christal, and no one knew apart from her.

He goes from one addiction to another, this I am starting to realize.

People pleaded on social media for me to continue singing. People posting videos telling me how much they loved my voice and that I should start my own singing career. A few even offered to hurt Nate if I agreed to sing again, which was amusing.

Nate called me every minute of the day, leaving messages and voicemails, but I ignored them. I even got myself a new phone. Nothing he can say or do will ever make what he did and say all right.

It’s funny really. Alcohol makes him nice.

Drugs makes him a dick.

I am looking through the newspaper, seeing what jobs are out there to keep me distracted. I can’t just lie on my ass all day. I see an ad for singers to do gigs at a popular club in town. I am biting my lip when Naomi comes up behind me, causing me to jump.

“Apply,” she says.

“You need to wear a bell.” I laugh at her. “Apply for what?” I act dumb.

“You know you want to sing again. The world outside wants you to sing again.” She points to the door.