Be a Doll(85)

“A birthday party?’’ She chuckled and where I would have thought it’d be biting and harsh, it was only bittersweet and sad. “I wouldn’t have anybody to invite. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time when I celebrated my birthday.’’

“I know it’s not the same, but I haven’t celebrated mine since… since Max died.’’ I brushed my lower lip with a few fingers and dropped my hand on the seat between us. “Anyway, you have people to invite, Lila. My mother and Megan like you very much.’’

“I know.’’

“Then why do you look like you don’t believe it?’’

Her blue eyes went to mine as a nostalgic smile stretched her pillowy lips. The lipstick she had had on was gone, but her lips still held the dark pink tint from the biting cold outside and it was difficult to look away from her mouth.

“It’s not that.’’ She toyed with her scarf in her lap, and oddly it warmed my chest to know that she felt enough at ease around me now not to control her every little movement that could betray her emotional state and thoughts. “I know they like me, but I have nobody in my life that started liking me because of me, not because I married you. It’s stupid. Apparently I’m owning that word today.’’

“If you think that under her sweet and smiling side my sister wouldn’t have told you off if she didn’t like you, you’re mistaken. They warmed to you quickly because you’re my wife, but they like you because of you.’’

She stared at me a moment longer until she imperceptibly shook her head. I only saw it because her hair moved and a few strands fell against her face, brushing her pink cheek like I suddenly wanted to. I wanted to touch her and make her help me forgetting everything because I knew just a light touch could push everything away. Touching that woman was powerful and overwhelming and the promise of the kind of sex you rarely had a chance to have in your life only made it easier to focus on something other than the issues weighing me down.

“Are you trying to be nice because you know tracking me down is wrong?’’

“To many people when a husband leaves work early to spend time with his wife it’s considered nice, Lila.’’

I stared harder at her and watched the expression on her face tensing. It started with her eyes when her brows bunched and then it followed with her pursed lips and the grind of her teeth that made her delicate jaw and high cheekbones sharper.

“Maybe to some, but I’m sure many more would believe it an act of control over me and a proof that you’re an egomaniac man in need of power over everything and everyone.’’

“Egomaniac?’’ I echoed, voice deep and even as to not betray the surge of anger that rose inside me, eliminating my growing dick. “I was making an effort, but if you want to play hard, Lila, I don’t mind it.’’ I stared in the front of the car to find Lucas trying his best to ignore what was happening in the back of the car. “Lucas, get us home as quickly as possible.’’

“It’s not like he can fly over the traffic jam,’’ Lila butted in before Lucas uttered a word and my glare didn’t deter her. She only held my glare while her hands gripped her scarf tightly on her lap.

“Can’t you ever keep you mouth shut? One day I hope you’ll tell me why you enjoy pushing my buttons so much.’’

“As if it’s that difficult!’’ Her voice rose in the car and Lucas’ cringe matched my own, or the one I had on the inside but I was too busy glaring at her to do anything else. “You’re constantly going off on people if they don’t follow your lead, Mathis.’’

“Shit, Lila. Stop. Just stop,’’ I warned her, my voice threateningly quiet as my body started shaking with an anger that needed a target, a way to come out and relieve me.

“I always have to stop. Every time we touch something you don’t want to, isn't that right?’’

My glare became a glower then at the meaning behind her words, knowing full well that she was talking about last night. I couldn’t believe she used that against me.

Without thinking, without a warning other than the dark expression that was on my face, I grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her to me until her forehead was against mine. My eyes on hers and my stuttering breathing coming out in loud pants, I smirked darkly at her. Her eyes were huge, not exactly with fear knowing her, but more from surprise.

I felt Lucas’ attention on us, and I’d bite his head off if he decided to intervene. Then, Lila put her hand on my chest as if to push me away, but I didn’t budge.

“Don’t you fucking dare,’’ I whispered darkly so close to her lips I swore I felt them ghost over my own for a second.

“Let me go,’’ she whispered back, her anger washing over me and feeding my own.

My fingers dug into the back of her neck, shaking. My eyes didn’t look away from hers and I kept my forehead against her even when she tried pulling away. Her hands tugged on my coat, the fabric too thick to ball in her delicate hands.

“The moment you walked into my life I opened myself up to losing every damn bit of control I’ve garnered over the years. You know it, so don’t play stupid because that color doesn’t suit you, little wife.’’

“If you hate losing control so much, why pick me then? Now, let me go!’’ she said, her voice a tad louder than before, her glower so strong it zinged through me, electrified me, made me want her.