Be a Doll(26)
For a man who didn’t display a wide range of emotions, at that moment he could have knocked me down with the intensity of the emotions he was displaying.
Quickly, I hid behind the wall but peeked inside. I couldn’t stop looking at him, couldn’t calm my hammering heart or the way my hands tingled strangely as if a part of me wanted to go in there to comfort him.
What did this man hide behind his cold and manipulative exterior?
LILA
After spying on Mathis in his study I went back to the living room and sat on the couch to channel surf while my mind was going in all directions. I couldn’t erase the image of my husband from my head and in all honesty I didn’t really want to. To witness him being vulnerable, being human, made this whole ordeal slightly more bearable.
As I watched a re-run of one of those popular TV series for teenagers, Mathis came back. My eyes glued to him immediately and I was amazed that there was no trace of his previous emotional breakdown. His face only showed stone cold resolution with his dark eyes intense and steady on me. His square jaw tense and his lips in a straight line. The sleeves of his dress shirt were still rolled over his arms, but my eyes soon strayed from the view of his strong forearms and the veins accentuating the masculine view. He was holding two packages with the Apple logo stamped on them. Without a word, he set the boxes on the coffee table and pushed them until they landed in front of me.
“What’s that?’’ I asked and didn’t make a move to check them out even though it was obvious what they were.
He sat down on the couch opposite me and gestured at the boxes. “I almost forgot that I purchased these for you a week ago. There’s an iPhone and a Macbook Air. I thought you could use these and I was told by Mrs. Stein that no women had a personal laptop or cell phone at Carter Manor. It wouldn’t be very practical now, would it?’’
“Why does it feel like you’re tightening the leash around my neck?’’ I asked without making a move to check out the devices.
I would lie if I claimed that owning a laptop and a smartphone didn’t make a part of me slightly giddy after spending years monitored whenever I used a phone or a computer, but the fact remained that a laptop and a cell phone made it all the more easy for my husband to check up on me and give me orders regarding my duties as his spouse.
“Don’t be dramatic, Lila,’’ he retorted with a cold tone that chilled me and made me want to recoil. His dark eyes didn’t have that same spark in them, that wicked spark that was ever-present whenever he toyed with me. At that very moment, I only saw the cold man that made me crave the kind of freedom that meant being away from this life and everything tied to it, starting with Mathis Grimes. “It’s reasonable to need a way to get ahold of you. I have a lot more to do than checking up on what you’re doing at any given time.’’
“Just so I know where my place is, will you warn me beforehand when you don’t come back for the night? I don’t mind either way, but I don’t want to make the wrong move and give ammunition to your social circle to gossip regarding the state of our marriage. It’d ruin the purpose of getting yourself a wife from Carter Manor.’’
His frown started easing off before a thought seemed to hit him and he went back to scowling. He crossed his legs at the ankle and put a hand on top of his thigh while his other hand he used a finger to trace his lower lip in a move I now would forever and always associate with him. It never ceased to catch my attention and forced my eyes to fix on his mouth for the time it took my heart to beat three or four times.
“You don’t have to wonder for now.’’
It was my turn to frown at his cryptic answer. Before I betrayed my emotions and crossed my arms in a protective move, I leaned forward and as elegantly as I could while refraining my hand from trembling under his intense and watchful eyes, I took the iPhone box. I was surprised to find the packaging still intact. I was sure he’d already have it installed and put a spy app somewhere to better exert his control, but it seemed I truly mistook his intent here.
“I suppose a thank you is in order.’’ I opened the box and after seeing the phone waiting for me, I looked up to find Mathis’ eyes still on me, watching me silently. He was probably already planning his next mind game while I was blindsided by my new toys.
“It would be too painful for you, wouldn’t it?’’
His voice, slightly lower and more gravelly than before, made the hair at the nape of my neck stand to attention. My mouth dried itself when my belly made it impossible for me to ignore the kind of effect he had on me without even trying. I disgusted myself.
“You seem to forget where I had spent the past four years. I’ve been taught to ignore my own emotions in situations such as this. I may not be fully ‘tamed’ as you put it, but I’m a lot more polished than you seem to believe.’’
His smirk made a reappearance and with it the wicked dimple that accentuated the darkness in him I couldn’t miss lurking at the surface whenever he readied himself to play a game with me until he knew he had me bent out of shape and ready to lose the small amount of strength I had in me.
“You’re polished with others, Lila. With me?’’ The chuckle that escaped his parted lips made me shiver. The humor didn’t reach his dark orbs as they held mine. “With me you’re not a perfect little doll with which I can do whatever I want. You’re fighting tooth and nail to give the impression of having the upper hand in this arrangement when we both know who has the power. Actually, right now you’re probably cursing me to Hell and back.’’