Be a Doll(22)

“You can stay in here if you want, Lila, but it’s rather ridiculous.’’

Mathis’ voice startled me from my thoughts of the past and made me gasp. “I wasn’t finished,’’ I bit back and without giving myself enough time to think about it any more, I twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

I had no idea how my eyes didn’t bug out of my head upon seeing him. Not once during my small panic attack in the bathroom had I thought of what Mathis would be wearing to go to bed. Somehow, I only focused on the amount of skin I showed and the kind of proximity a bed forced two people when sleeping in the same one. Now I knew I should have been smarter and prepared to face some of my husband’s flesh. And muscles.

While I was sure the pajama pants he wore were expensive, what truly had my attention was his chest, fully bared to me. When I first saw this man in his tailored suit, I had known he had the kind of body someone sculpted with intense physical activity beyond what genetics had already given him. Knowing something was very different from seeing it.

Mathis was standing there, his dark eyes calculating as mine slowly traveled down his torso, stopping a moment to take in his strong arms and the muscles even more defined than I expected and the veins, few but defined, running along his forearms. Then, my eyes caught his pecs, impossible to miss but not overly buffed and his flat nipples of the same dark pink color as his lips. Of course, my eyes went further down and my breath hitched upon seeing his abs, a real six pack leading to his navel and then a fine trail of hair that got lost in the waistband of his pajama pants hanging low enough to let me get a peek of the ‘v’ that made every woman salivate.

My breathing accelerated, my blood rushed through my veins and the worst, something I couldn’t possibly control, I felt myself getting wet.

“No underwear? Are you trying to tempt me, Lila?’’

I blinked and locked eyes with him and once again the stark contrast between the wicked smirk and the distance in his eyes got to me. I wondered what he looked like when he truly smiled and it reached his eyes. I quickly banished that thought, way too dangerous for more than one reason.

“It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted. Let’s just end this day now and stop this power play going.’’ I sighed then and without waiting for his answer I tore my eyes away and made my way to the huge bed. With my back to him I had no idea if he was looking at me or not, maybe staring at my behind, but my whole body burned hotter by the second anyway.

For days, weeks even, I had thought I’d have to let this man, my husband that I despised, put his hands on me and take his pleasure while participating as expected of me, to make it good for him, but the out he had given me today changed everything. I didn’t know what to make of the contradictory thoughts plaguing me or the way my body reacted, seemingly going into two very different directions.

I pulled the covers and quickly, probably with less grace than I should show after being taught to move with grace and poise, I climbed in bed and pulled the covers completely over myself until only my head peeked out. I relaxed immediately now that I was sure my nipples wouldn’t make an appearance if they betrayed me.

My eyes wandered to him as he made his way to the bed. Watching him walk was something entirely too enticing. Before, I had never fully understood in books when they talked about the male character walking like a panther or lion or any feline, but now I did.

Mathis’ steps were controlled, but seemed to slither in such a smooth way that all his muscles looked honed to answer to all his commands. The strength in his body was unmistakable and somehow I found myself unable to look away, not until he pulled away the covers on his side of the bed and joined me. Then it was hard for me not to stop looking at the high ceiling above us while I tensed when the bed slightly caved on his side as he situated himself.

The bed was big enough that no part of my body touched his and I was thankful, so much so that I had half a mind to find the name of the palace’s director to send them a gift basket for such accommodation. However, I was well aware that we were in the same bed and that my body was hotter than usual.

Sexual frustration wasn’t something I had thought would be an issue. Apparently, I still had had some na?veté left in me.

“To fall asleep you need to relax first,’’ he said with a wicked smirk I could hear as he turned off the light and rearranged his pillow. At his every move, the last traces of his cologne hit me and it only made my body coil tighter while my head kept on screaming at me for letting my body getting away with such a shameless reaction.

“I’ve managed for almost twenty-five years,’’ I bit back and sighed as I decided to turn on my side so I wouldn’t be tempted to let my eyes drink him in once my sight got used to the darkness.

“When I decided to go through with this marriage I had never envisioned my wedding night quite like this.’’

I nibbled on my lip at his sincere words. I couldn’t pinpoint the kind of thoughts he had running through his twisted mind considering his voice was rather flat, but I supposed that as any man in this situation would be disappointed for not getting laid, but I was sure that he’d remedy it as soon as tomorrow with one of the women he certainly called frequently to take the edge off. Somehow, I couldn’t exactly picture that man at a bar doing the chasing like most red blooded men in this day and age. Somehow, Mathis Grimes seemed like the kind of man who was chased after a well-placed appreciative glance a woman’s way and maybe a slight flirtation to drill home he was open if only she would do the work of propositioning him. It was no surprise if my reasoning tended to go that course considering the kind of mind game he was playing with me.