Be Good A New Adult Romance (RE12)(16)

I was suddenly struck with a sense of fear. I had never made a commitment to anything in my life. I didn’t even like to commit to being at any one party on a Saturday night, if I could help it. Now I had committed myself to bringing a plant back to life. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. I could have looked up stuff about plants online but I realized I had told Brett about the plant because I wanted to make myself accountable. I wanted him to know about it because otherwise I might have just said f*ck it and thrown the thing away.

I looked at Marvin. Since I had never actually done anything worthwhile in my life, I decided I’d start with this pathetic little plant and see if I could save him from the brink of death. I wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge but at least I had to try.

A few minutes later, Winter come home. We usually ignored each other but today she stopped and looked at my plant.

“Why is there a Dracaena on the counter?”

Why did everyone know the type of plant but me? And I was the one who purchased it. How pathetic is that?

“I’m trying to save it,” I answered.

“Good luck with that. It’s pretty messed up.”

“I know.”

“Do you really think you can save it?”

I shrugged.

“How much did you pay for it?”

“Two dollars.”

“You got ripped off.”

With that, Winter grabbed her bag, headed into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

I was alone again with Marvin, the plant symbolic of me.





Six


The week seemed to drag by. My brother noticed something was going on because he called me into his office late Thursday afternoon.

“So?” My brother looked up from his stack of contracts. “You’re not your usual cold and heartless self. What’s going on?”

I shrugged. I wasn’t used to discussing any aspect of my life with Jake, especially not my love life, if you could even call it that.

“Does it have anything to do with you going away for the long weekend?”

“Maybe.”

“Look, I know we haven’t exactly been close.” That was an understatement. My brother seemed to be searching for words, which was unusual. He generally knew exactly what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. He was always polished and to the point. “If there’s ever anything you want to talk about, just let me know.”

Twenty-three years and my brother finally gave a shit about me. What a joke. I wanted to say: Where were you when I was fourteen and really needed some guidance and someone to talk to? Where were you when I just started to go off the rails? It’s a little late now that I’m a complete and total f*ck up. But he did give me a job and he was showing some interest, so I didn’t completely tear him a new one.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I affirmed.

I could hear him heave a sigh as I bolted out of his office.



***



That night, when I was spray-misting Marvin, I noticed a small sprout starting to develop. It was new growth! I couldn’t have been more elated. I immediately reached for the phone and called Brett. It had been nearly a week since we talked and it felt a lot longer. He had warned me that he wouldn’t have a lot of time to phone me during the week because he worked crazy long hours but he did text me sweet little messages, which made me smile.

I didn’t even see him much on Facebook but I noticed Sweater Vest had posted some “How are you doing?” messages to his wall. I guess she only felt concern for him when it looked like he had another girl in his life. I was glad to see that Brett didn’t respond, at least not publically. That’s not to say that they didn’t resume communication and I just didn’t see it, which made me incredibly jealous.

Brett’s phone rang and rang. I expected for voicemail to pick up but there was nothing. Weird. I didn’t want to come across as a stalker, so I didn’t immediately try again. I waited a few hours then phoned back.

“Anna,” Brett said when he finally picked up. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I saw that you phoned earlier. I’m sorry I couldn’t phone you back right away. Work has been crazy.”

“I was surprised your voicemail didn’t pick up. I would have left a message.”

There was an awkward moment of silence before Brett responded. That couldn’t be good, I thought.

“I was on the phone with Becca,” he said quickly.

Now I was the one who was silent.

“Anna, are you still there?” Brett’s voice sounded strained.

I didn’t want to come across as a crazy jealous bitch but that was exactly how I was feeling. I knew the female brain well enough to know that Sweater Vest would try to get her claws back into him the minute there was another girl in the picture.

“I’m here,” I managed to get out with minimal emotion, even though inside I was going f*cking nuts.

“Becca’s going through a little bit of a rough patch right now.”

“I bet she is,” I blurted. I came out a lot nastier than I would have liked.

“Nothing’s going on between us. She still considers me a friend, that’s all.”

“Whatever,” I hissed. “I didn’t call to talk about Sweater Vest.”

“I know. I’m sorry. What do you need?”

Before I could stop myself, I said, “I don’t need anything. I’ve never needed anyone or anything and I’m not going to start with you.”

Silence again. I waited for Brett to say something—anything. Finally, he said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I can’t stop you from talking to Sweater Vest but I hope you can see what she’s doing. She didn’t want you until someone else did. Now you’re desirable again because she thinks someone else has you.”

“You do have me,” Brett said quietly. Now he was the one, who sounded hurt.

“It doesn’t feel like I have you right now.”

“I need to see you.” Brett sounded like he might cry and that twisted me up inside. “I would hop on a plane right now if I could but I have to work all weekend. We have a huge project due on Monday and we’re way behind.”

“We’re going to see each other next weekend at the wedding. It’s only eight days from now.”

“Please don’t be mad at me. It breaks my heart when you’re upset.”

I wanted to say: then don’t do anything to piss me off—like talking to Sweater Vest but I held my tongue. I was actually showing some restraint, which was a little growth for me, just like Marvin.

“I just remembered the reason I called. Marvin has a small sprout.”

“Who’s Marvin?”

“My plant.”

Brett laughed. “You named your plant Marvin?”

“It’s a great name and it suits him. Don’t you name your plants?”

“I’ve never named a plant.”

“Maybe you should try.”

“Does that mean that Marvin has come back to life?”

“Marvin is doing exceptionally well. Not only has he come back to life, he’s starting to grow.”

“Take another photo and send it to me.”

“I will do that.”

Brett hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “Are you going out this weekend?” I could hear the strain in his voice again.

“I hadn’t really planned that far ahead.” And it was the truth. I generally went out when I got an itch to hang out and have fun.

I could tell Brett wanted to say more but he hesitated. “Well, if you do go out, would you think about me?”

How could I not? He was pretty much all I thought about lately. “Okay.”

“I really want to be with you right now.” I could hear the longing in his voice.

“I want to be with you, too,” I admitted.

“Be good.”

“I’m always good,” I teased even though I knew our definitions of the word were probably different.

“I know,” Brett said as he hung up.



***



It was nine o’clock on a Saturday night and I was still at home, in sweatpants and a tee shirt. I couldn’t remember the last time I was home on a Saturday night. I may have been 12.

My roommate came in with one of her witch friends. At one time, I thought she told me the girl’s name was Zelda. Zelda was dressed in all black, just like Winter, but Zelda was more than a little overweight. The two gawked at me when they saw me on the couch.

“What’s going on?” Winter said. She was trying to be casual but she seemed to be in shock.

I shrugged. “Not much.” I put down the People magazine I had been reading.