An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(41)

“There’s nothing wrong with being with men or women or both. Sexuality isn’t an either-or. There’s a whole spectrum out there, and many people live their entire lives believing they have to be one or the other, but that’s not the case. There’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or pansexual. In fact, it’s something to celebrate, because you’re admitting that what’s inside a person is more important than what’s on the outside.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, apart from the occasional slurp of coffee.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out,” Rob said at last. “I never meant to say that to you.”

Vic put down his mug and regarded Rob closely. “I figured as much, but you did say it. Care to tell me what brought it on?”

Rob’s stomach clenched. “I got fired yesterday.” He waited for the demands to know what the hell he’d done, for the how could you be so irresponsible? remarks.

“Okay.”

Rob blinked. “For theft.”

“Oh. What happened?”

It took Rob a second or two to realize there wasn’t any condemnation in Vic’s tone, just curiosity. He tried to figure out the best way to explain it, but then decided on just going for it. I’ve already blurted out the one thing I never wanted to say, so in for a penny….

“About seven years ago, Jamie and I went into the supermarket where I work… worked. We thought it would be fun to steal some things. We got away with it, so we did it a few more times. Then I got uncomfortable about it, and we stopped.”

Vic folded his arms across his chest, his brow creased. “So they fired you for something you did when you were a kid? You know they can’t do that, right? We have laws that prevent it.”

Rob nodded. “Yeah, I know. I could file a complaint, but I won’t. Even if they gave me back my job, I’ve lost any chance at their trust. I wouldn’t feel comfortable there anymore. And I know we were kids, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t excuse what we did.”

“No, it doesn’t, but that was long time ago, and you confessed to it.”

He shifted uncomfortably on his chair. “Not really.”

“Then how did your boss find out?”

Rob sighed. “I saw Jamie the other day. I said something that apparently got him mad enough to go and tell my boss what we’d done.”

“Jamie sounds like he’s a dick,” Vic said.

Rob shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I took responsibility for what I’d done, and it got me fired.”

“And this guy is a friend?” Vic arched his eyebrows. “Some friend.”

Rob huffed. “Maybe not now, but back when we were kids? The two of us were thick as thieves.” Jamie had been fun, exciting, and made Rob feel alive. He had actually enjoyed Jamie’s company, and then….

He shivered. One night was all it had taken to change the way Rob saw him, forever.

“Rob?”

You know you’re going to have to tell him, right? He’d come this far; there was no going back now.

Rob picked up his mug and held it tight. He closed his eyes, knowing it would be easier to talk if he didn’t have to look at Vic, or have Vic staring at him. “A few years ago, Jamie and I went out and hit a dance club. We met two girls there—sisters, actually. We bought them some drinks, danced with them for a while, and then Jamie told them his parents had gone away for the weekend and that they should come over. The girls talked about it and agreed. We piled into Jamie’s car and headed back to his place. It didn’t take long once we got in the door before we were all naked and sprawled out in his lounge.”

He paused long enough to take a drink, then forced himself to open his eyes. “Up until that night, I’d never seen him naked, never mind fucking some girl. But there we were, me banging one girl on the couch, while Jamie did the other on the rug.”

Vic said nothing, and Rob was glad of the silence.

“I glanced across at him and he smiled at me, giving a thumbs-up.” Rob shivered again, the memory still sharp as ever. “Oh, God, it was… fucking hot. He was sweating as he pumped into her, and I was… I…. Fuck, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Forget about the girl I was fucking—in my head, it was just me and Jamie.”

“You envisaged the two of you fucking instead?” Vic asked quietly.

Rob nodded. “I swear, until that day, I’d never thought about another man that way. But the way he looked as he drove his dick into her, the way his body tightened and rocked and moved…. When we were done, I got dressed and ran home. The entire way, I was wondering what the fuck was wrong with me.”

Vic was silent again, but Rob knew he had to get the rest of it out into the open.

“After that, every time I saw Jamie, that’s all I could think about. I’d look at him, and it was that night all over again, me remembering what I’d felt. I had to stop hanging out with him, because I knew if he figured it out, there would be hell to pay.” Finally he got up enough courage to open his eyes.

Vic frowned. “Why?”

“Jamie hated gay people. He never stopped mouthing off about fags this and poofs that. He was always a mean sod to Alex, and every time I laughed it off. Not that he ever did anything to anybody, you understand, but when he started coming out with that shit, it still made your skin crawl. He could be a real scary bastard.”