An Unlocked Mind (Secrets #2)(40)

He threw his arm across his eyes. “Now what the hell do I do?” he whispered to the quiet room. He lay there for what seemed like hours, dreading the moment when he’d have to go downstairs. On the one hand, Vic might not say anything, which Rob felt would be a blessing. On the other hand, he could demand to know what the hell Rob was talking about. If that happened, Rob had no idea what he’d say.

You can’t hide up here forever, you know. Staying in bed won’t solve anything.

Reluctantly he sat up and scanned the room for his shirt, which he spotted draped over a chair in the corner. He picked it up and sniffed it, grimacing at the odor of stale beer. Yeah, he’d definitely been to a bar, and from the smell of it, had been a little clumsy. He slipped the shirt over his head, doing his best to make himself at least somewhat presentable. Then it was time to leave the haven of his room. When he opened the door, the house was silent, which didn’t help Rob’s nerves. If Vic is still asleep, what do I do? Sit in the kitchen and wait for him? Try to sneak out and go back to Manchester and pretend it never happened?

He’d already run to Vic to get away from one set of problems. What good would it do to compound that? Then he’d have nowhere to go and he’d lose the only real friend he had.

Shit, when did I start thinking of Vic as a friend? Probably the moment Vic had sat across from him at the restaurant and made Rob laugh. But then there had been the films and dinner and… other things.

Yeah, don’t forget the other things. As if he could.

“Rob? I’m in the kitchen.”

“Coming,” Rob called out, his voice cracking. He stepped into the kitchen to find Vic sitting at the table, his large hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Across from him was a thermal travel mug with steam wafting from the opening.

“It’s the biggest mug I had in the house,” Vic said with a smirk. “I figured this morning might call for it.”

Rob pulled out the chair, sat, and grabbed the coffee. “I need this.” Even the aroma gave him a much-needed lift.

Vic didn’t react for a moment. He drank from his mug and then regarded Rob with a more neutral expression. “You seemed like you had fun last night.”

Rob wished. Going to that bar had had nothing to do with fun. It had been about forgetting everything, at least for a while.

Funny how problems are always still there when you sober up, though.

“No, not really.”

“Did you want to talk about it?”

Rob could scarcely contain his surprise. Maybe he doesn’t remember after all. Rob could live with that. “There really isn’t anything to say.”

Vic stood and poured himself another cup. “I think we both know that’s not quite true. You made some pretty startling claims last night when we spoke on the phone.”

Fuck. Fuck. So much for hoping. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Vic took his seat again. “There isn’t anything to be sorry for,” Vic assured him, then took a sip. “But we do need to discuss it.”

Rob shrugged. “What’s there to talk about? I said what I did. It’s not like I can unsay it, right?” His stomach clenched. Please, let’s not talk about this?

Vic appraised him quietly, and Rob squirmed in his chair. He’s not going to let this drop, is he? Of course, Vic wouldn’t be Vic if he did.

“I’m not about to brush your statement under the carpet, much as you might like me to. Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.” He cocked his head to one side. “Are you trying to say you’re gay?”

“What?” Rob scoffed. “Fuck no.” His heartbeat raced and his palms grew clammy.

Vic’s smile was indulgent. “Okay, then what is it? Do you often blurt out to men that you want them?”

In years past Rob would have been more likely to cut off his tongue rather than ever say those words. That thought shocked him. What’s changed in me?

The answer was all too obvious. I just got pushed to the edge. Where is there left for me to go?

“Okay, so you’re not gay. What, then?”

Rob’s headache returned with a vengeance. I don’t want to talk about that night. Ever. And answering Vic’s question meant veering too close to the truth. “Can we not do this?”

“Well, if you hadn’t told me you wanted me, we wouldn’t be discussing it in the first place. But now? I need to understand.”

“I only sleep with women,” Rob barked. “I don’t sleep with men.”

Vic nodded slowly. “Okay. So you’re saying you’d sleep with any woman?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then explain it to me. Let’s start with an easy question: what kind of woman do you sleep with?”

Rob shrugged. “They have to be young, and pretty is a definite plus. I don’t want anyone taller than me because that seems awkward.”

Vic smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “So what you’re telling me is you do care about who you sleep with. You obviously enjoy the act if you’re able to perform.”

Of course he could perform. “Yeah, I like it.”

Another slow nod. “Then maybe you’re bisexual?”

Rob considered the question for a few moments. To his mind, that sounded better than being gay. “Maybe,” he answered with a hint of hesitation. “I never really thought of it in those terms.”