An Act of Persuasion(52)
That had her eyes widening. He was already worried about their kid getting cancer. It was thoughtful, but the thought of freezing her parts after they came out of her body... “Gross.”
“No, smart. As a precaution.”
“Fine. But I still think I should find my parents if I can. Or maybe even their parents. Obviously my mother had addiction problems. But we should see what else is out there.”
“Do you remember her?”
Anna shook her head. It was more accurate to say she didn’t want to remember her. If there were memories—and there were a few—she forced them out of her head until they were gone. Like the sound of her mother’s voice calling her name. Or a lullaby she knew had been sung to her. None of it needed to be remembered, because in the remembering there was only pain.
“Then how do you know? I mean, about the addiction.”
“The smell.” Sickly sweet and awful. It had filled the room where they lived and Anna had instinctively known it was a bad smell. Maybe melting crack or heroine. She remembered how it made her feel scared because after the smell came, her mother would be different. She couldn’t touch her or talk to her. Then all those very vague memories filled with a sense of wrongness.
“Can I ask another question?”
She shrugged.
“Why Mark?”
“Why not Mark? He’s an investigator.”
“I mean, why not me?”
“I don’t know. I guess with everything going on between us, asking you for a favor right now seemed a little over the top.”
He frowned. “We’re supposed to be starting a relationship.”
“Trying to start. Not in one.”
“And you felt more comfortable going to Mark for help.”
“Yes.”
Everything was more comfortable with Mark. Because he didn’t make her feel this way. He didn’t make her feel any way. He was her boss. She wasn’t in love with him. They could talk about anything. Everything was easy between them. Not like this.
As if making a deliberate attempt to back off, Ben returned to the grill and lifted the lid, studying the contents within very thoughtfully.
“I’ve got steaks on. I hope that’s okay.”
She wasn’t sure where this need to fight with him came from. But the dark edginess she’d been feeling since she decided not to cancel the date had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach and it wouldn’t let her go. It was taking over and she didn’t think she wanted to beat it back. Let him see this side of her. Let him know that it existed.
“Um, do you have anything else? I’m not really into steak anymore.”
He stopped and she could see his mind spinning. How long had he prepped the steaks and marinated them in some special recipe he’d found? Because he knew she liked steak. She’d always loved steak. Of course he would think enough of her to serve what he knew she loved.
“I have some chicken breasts. In the freezer.”
“Okay.”
He looked at her then but didn’t say anything. “You want a refill on your drink while I’m inside?”
“No, I’m good.”
He headed inside. A few moments later and she could hear the beeping of the microwave as he unthawed the chicken she didn’t really care about. When he came outside with a plate of pale meat and barbeque sauce she grimaced.
“What?”
“It looks weird.”
“It’s raw chicken. This is what raw chicken looks like.”
“Okay, but I want it plain. No sauce.”
“You love barbeque sauce. You put barbeque sauce on French fries instead of ketchup.”
“I don’t like it now,” she argued. “I want the chicken plain. Is that okay? I mean, I am a guest, right? You want to please me, don’t you? That’s the point of this whole shebang.”
“You’re more than a guest.”
“Right, sorry. I’m also the mother of your one and only child.”
“Anna...”
She spoke over him. “How long do you think it’s going to take us to eat? Because The Bachelor is on television tonight and I don’t want to miss it.”
“The Bachelor?”
“Yeah. I know you don’t watch unreal reality TV. But I do and I don’t want to miss an episode.”
“Isn’t that what a DVR is for?”