An Act of Persuasion(47)

She watched as one woman basically rocked from side to side to gain enough momentum to get out of the chair she was sitting in after her name was called. A few of the other women with equal-size protrusions actually laughed along with her as she finally made it to her feet.

What the hell was funny about that?

Anna was counting on a basketball-size thing while these women were sporting Volkswagen Beetles. Cautiously, she glanced at Ben who sat next to her, seemingly unaffected by the women around him.

“You’re what? Six-two?”

“Six-one and a half,” he answered without hesitation as if he knew exactly what was going through her mind. “Don’t worry. The kid will fit. Barely.”

“Anna Summers.”

Anna lifted her head at her name. The nurse was smiling, holding a clipboard in her hand and waving her over.

Anna and Ben stood together. Something she wasn’t exactly expecting.

“Uh...”

“Can I come in with you?”

Awkward again. Anna thought back to the weekend when they had both attempted to act like the normal couple they weren’t and wondered if this would be like that. She thought about what she would be required to do for this visit. She already handed in her early-morning pee in a cup to the nurse so she was spared that indignity.

She had to get weighed—she could make him turn around for that. They would only pull up her shirt to poke around a bit. Then they would use the stethoscope to listen for the heartbeat.

Yes, he would want to hear that. A man who had come so close to losing his heartbeat would love the sound of a newly created one.

“Okay. But don’t go asking a ton of questions, all right? You’re not grilling the doctor like an enemy agent. This is my body, my pregnancy.”

Ben frowned and she knew he was currently dismissing the list of questions he’d already formulated in his head.

They were escorted into an office where Anna was asked to sit on the examining table and Ben sat in an uncomfortable chair in the corner. The last time they had been in a doctor’s office together it had been a very different situation.

The last time he’d been in a doctor’s office by himself he’d been making a life-altering decision without her. She couldn’t forget that.

Anna swallowed and started to wonder if what they were attempting to do was even possible. In the harsh light of reality, with the euphoria of her feelings stripped away she tried to imagine the two of them together.

Lying together in bed had been odd. Not horrible and eventually she had fallen asleep despite her desire not to, but it hadn’t felt natural.

Because it had been so new for them.

Maybe she was to blame for that. Not only hadn’t she shared her past with him, she’d also never done anything to change their future. She never suggested they go on a date. Never made any sexual moves toward him. Never once led him to believe she wasn’t completely content simply being his executive assistant.

He was right to ask her why she had held on to her feelings for so long. She couldn’t have said she fell in love with him immediately after starting work, but certainly after two years she’d pretty much locked up her heart against anyone else. Four years was a long time to hold on to something that big.

In those four years she’d worked with him, talked with him, joked with him and battled with him. All the while telling herself that what they had was good enough. It was better than most marriages, she thought. They had each other’s backs. They didn’t play games. They enjoyed each other’s company. They didn’t hurt each other intentionally.

What a crock of shit.

She hadn’t given him anything of herself. Her fears and her hopes. Only her brain and her time and her caring. That wasn’t love. That was the illusion of it.

He’d been her work husband. She’d been his work wife. They had settled into professional married bliss. What he probably thought constituted a fine working relationship. Yet, she thought it was something more. Something that entitled her to be part of his decision-making process when it came to his health. How naive of her.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes, fine.”

“You’re quiet.”

“So are you. I thought maybe being in a doctor’s office...” She was deflecting. Ben wouldn’t let something like his near-death scare result in a permanent phobia of doctors or their offices. He was too practical for things like that.

“Trust me. This in no way reminds me of my doctor visits.” He pointed to the pictures on the wall, which featured a steady progression of a growing fetus inside a woman’s uterus.