All I Ask(74)

It’s the first time I’ve felt like what I did wasn’t so horrible.

“You didn’t do anything,” I try to reassure him.

“No. And that’s the problem.”

I’ve spent so much time hating myself for the things I didn’t do when it came to Derek and it seems he’s done the same.

“If we’re going to work…” I say tenderly.

“We are going to work. There is no if in this.”

I smile. “Okay, well, in order to make this work, we have to start really forgiving ourselves for the past. We did what we did, and it sucks that we didn’t have time together, but we have the future. Keith, Meghan, all the things we should’ve done, have to not be things you and I dwell on.”

He nods, releases my hand, and then turns to look out the window. “Do you have any idea why he could be here now?”

The nerves are back and my stomach is in knots. “I don’t and that’s what worries me.”

“Are his parents here?”

“They fly south for the winter.”

He shakes his head.

“I don’t get it.”

Keith hasn’t so much as stepped foot in this town since Chastity was born. His parents go see him. If he did visit, I never heard of it and that would be some pretty stealthy movement. Not to mention, he’s a hero here, so everyone would’ve been talking about the perfect football star returning.

“I don’t either, but there’s only one way to find out.”

He wraps his fingers around mine and we head to the house.

We don’t say anything, but there’s no more anger swirling around us. We’re quiet, almost as though we’re both preparing for all the possibilities. I have no idea what Keith could want. All I know is he has a lot of money and that means he has power. For all I know he woke up today and decided that he wants Chastity.

He could fight me.

He could use the tape to get what he wants. Yes, he signed his rights away, but I have no idea if he can get them back. All of these things going through my mind make me want to scream.

When we get to the door, I feel sick. Derek and I stare at the knocker and I finally bring words to my worst fear. “If he tries to take her…”

“He can’t.”

“We don’t know that.”

The only thing keeping me from losing it is the constant pressure from his hand. He hasn’t let go and I don’t know how I’d do this if he weren’t with me.

“He’s too selfish, Teagan, and if for some reason he does try to take Chastity, no one will allow it.”

God, I hope so. Chastity is my life. She’s everything good in this world and if he were to try to take her from me, I would die.

“Okay. Let’s go get this over with.”

My body is trembling as I turn the handle. He’s here. It’s been so long. I don’t think I can do this.

“I can’t.” I stop and look up at Derek. I’m weak and stupid, but more than that, I’m scared. I don’t want to face him. My parents don’t know anything about the tape and I will never recover from seeing the shame they’ll show.

He shakes his head and cups my face. “You are stronger than any person I’ve ever known. He’s the one who should be afraid.”

“They don’t know, Derek.”

“Who?”

“My parents. They don’t know anything about the details of the custody agreement. They think I forced Keith to give up rights because I wanted her to myself. My mother has constantly reminded me how different my life could’ve been if I weren’t so headstrong. They have no idea of the real reason.”

Derek rests his forehead against mine. “I keep trying to forgive myself for letting you do this alone and then I find out something else. This is another example of how strong you are, Tea. You can do this and we’ll make sure we shield them from that coming out as much as we can, okay?”

God, I hope so. “Okay.”

He opens the door, and we walk through.

So many times I’ve envisioned what would happen when I saw Keith again. Would I slap him? Cry? Knee him in the balls? In all my visions, I never thought I would simply stand here, unable to speak as he sat on the couch in my parents’ house. The same couch that we used to fool around on.

“Teagan.” Keith gets to his feet and walks over. “I…hi.” He looks over to Derek and laughs through his nose. “Hartz.”

“Keith,” Derek says through gritted teeth.

These are the times when I wish karma came around to kick people in the face. I’ve seen Keith on television after a game, but not in a few years. We’ve avoided football Sunday in our house, opting for DIY Network or something less—Keith. Time has been kind to him. He’s tall, broad shoulders, and he isn’t even balding.

Why are the fates so unkind? Couldn’t he at least have a crooked nose or something?

He grins at me as though he can read my mind. “I didn’t know you two were still close, but I’m not surprised, you and Teagan always had a special bond,” he says, as though it’s a compliment, but it’s not. Keith hated Derek. He was always finding some way to cut him down to me and anyone else. As much as Meghan hated me, I assume Keith felt the same toward Derek.