All I Ask(73)

A tear falls down my face. I’m so ashamed. I knew better and yet I didn’t say anything when he said he wanted to do it. Men often come out of sex tapes as the hero in some way—it’s women who bear the fallout. I was young and if I didn’t live in this town where everyone’s memories fade but scandal never does, I could’ve told him to fuck off. However, I do live here, and in order to make sure Chastity never had to deal with it, I let him off the hook.

I protected her, myself, my family, and any future I might’ve had. Not only would Keith never love our daughter, but he would also have made it so the town she was surrounded by whispered more than they do now.

In the distance, I hear my phone ring, but I can’t move to answer. I wait for Derek to respond, because I’m dying inside.

“Who else knows?” he asks.

I see it now, I’m going to lose Derek too because who wants to be with that girl? He has a daughter to think about too. How fitting this is. I always knew this tape would be the end of me, and now I’m going to watch it play out.

“Only Nina.”

“And Keith?”

“Yes, and I don’t know who he told. But I don’t think he’s told anyone, it’s been thirteen years and I’ve never done anything to provoke him.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose.

All the happiness I had with him fades away. My walls start to come back up, needing to protect myself so that I don’t break.

“I’m…”

The house phone rings and the fear I had shifts. No one but Chastity and my mother have this number. It’s our phone for emergencies. “I have to get that.” I leap out of the bed and reach for the phone. “Chas?”

“No, it’s your mother.”

I sigh and wish I had checked the stupid number.

“Is everything okay?”

“You need to come to the house, someone is here.”

I look to Derek, who is staring at me with a look I can’t decipher whether it’s confusion or anger. I turn back to the wall, not wanting to deal with any of this.

“Who is it?”

She clears her throat. “Keith.”





Chapter Thirty-Three





Teagan




Present



“You don’t have to go,” I tell Derek for the fifth time.

He’s been silent on the drive since I told him Keith was at my mother’s house. I have no idea what to think or why the hell he’s there. Part of our agreement was that he gave me all copies of the tape and I would never contact him and he would leave me alone as well. I wanted to ensure he was gone and I would never have to worry about this exact scenario.

“So you’ve said.”

He’s being cold and it hurts. Not to mention I’m a fucking mess. For all I know Keith is going to try to take Chastity or he released the fucking tape. I don’t know anything and I feel like I’m ready to explode.

Between telling Derek and this…I’m at the edge. I don’t need his attitude.

“You don’t have to do this. I’ve done just fine by myself.”

He shakes his head. “I’m going.”

Great. I really could use someone who is pissed off to deal with Keith for the first time in thirteen years—not.

I release a heavy sigh. “Look, I understand you’re upset with me, but it took everything inside of me to tell you about the stupid tape. I’m sorry that you’re so disgusted with me that you can’t look at me, but if this is how it’s going to be, I would’ve rather come alone.”

He doesn’t say anything, he jerks the car into the parking lot of Mrs. McCutchrey’s store. “You think I’m angry with you?”

“You haven’t said a word the entire time. I’m clearly upset about reliving my past and now I have to actually see him. You’re being cold and distant, which is everything you’re not. What the hell am I supposed to think?”

“That I’m on the verge of fucking killing him! That’s what you should think. You should know that the idea of that son of a bitch threatening you would lead me to debate homicide and whether I could endure conjugal visits instead of having you every day and whether Everly could survive it. That’s what you should think. You should know that I’ve always loved you and wanted to protect you and right now”—his voice shakes—“I hate myself for failing you when you needed me.”

The hurt I was feeling dissipates. He isn’t angry at me, he’s angry at Keith. There’s no disgust, just rage at the person who used a situation to get what he wanted. I don’t know that I could love this man any more than I do right now.

“Well, I suggest against those options.” I say it as a joke, but there’s nothing in his eyes that says he sees anything funny about this.

“He threatened you, Teagan! He took away all your power because he didn’t want to part with what? His precious money?”

“I guess.”

“He’s a coward.”

“Yes. He is.”

He takes my hands in his. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you years ago how I felt and then maybe you wouldn’t have dealt with him the way you did. I would’ve protected you or I don’t know…been there! Keith should be castrated for what he did. He gave up his kid and for what? Freedom? And then he comes after you because he’s that much of an asshole? I swear to God, Teagan, I’m going to beat the fuck out of him. And then, I want to punch myself! I’m fucking sorry that I acted like a dick and you thought it was you. It’s not you, baby.”