A Walk Along the Beach(89)

“Are you sure you can’t talk the landlord into agreeing to let you keep the cat? You’re a good tenant and I doubt they want to lose you.”

    “It will probably be best if we did move,” I said, although I hated the idea. “Dad prefers a house. Now that he’s working at the hardware store, he’s wanting a garage for a work area. That will be good for him. He used to do a bit of woodworking and always enjoyed it.”

“If I hear of a house for rent, I’ll let you know.”

I hadn’t made the effort to look, preferring to put it off until necessary. “That would be great.”

His gaze held mine. “How are you, Willa?”

“Good,” I answered quickly, probably too quickly.

Reaching across the table, he captured my hand. “No, you’re not. You’re pale and there are shadows under your eyes.”

He was smart enough not to mention the weight I’d lost. I heard enough about that from Shirley, who had made it her life goal to fatten me up. So far her efforts hadn’t worked. I shrugged, answering without answering.

He continued to look at me, silently demanding an answer.

“I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping,” I reluctantly admitted. “I’ve been in to see Dr. Annie and have made another appointment. She’s not eager to give me a prescription drug, for fear it will become habit-forming.” I understood her concerns, but I was at the point that I no longer cared. All I needed, all I wanted, was one night of decent sleep. One good night would change everything.

His hand tightened around mine. “Insomnia is only natural after everything you’ve been through.”

I’d heard that from Annie. That didn’t make it any more bearable. “I’m sure it will pass in time.”

“If there’s anything I can do…”

“At this point, I doubt there’s much that anyone can.” I hated to sound depressed and sad. Lack of sleep left me bone-weary and feeling hopeless.

“I’m serious. If you want to talk in the middle of the night, call. I’ll sing you back to sleep.”

    “Funny.”

“I’m serious.”



* * *



—

At two in the morning, I stared up at the ceiling, wide awake, fighting back tears of frustration. Was it too much to ask for a good night’s sleep? Just one night. I’d prayed, I’d begged God to let me rest, but no matter what I did, my mind refused to stop. Every time I closed my eyes, it was a signal for my mind to start mulling over a dozen senseless thoughts. I’d tried counting sheep, counting backwards from one hundred. My mind would zoom off in a dozen different directions, none of which led to a peaceful night.

Then something Dr. Annie had said came to me. She’d asked, When was the last time I’d slept, really slept? It was the night I’d been with Sean, the night I’d slept in the same bed with him.

Could I go to him? The idea popped unbidden into my head and I immediately shook it off. Still, it persisted. The hope that being in his arms would help me refused to go away. Even if I did go, would he even answer the door?

Then I remembered him saying that if there was anything he could do…Well, there was. He probably wouldn’t like it; then again, maybe he would. Desperate times called for desperate measures. I was beyond desperate.

While still in my pajamas, I put on my slippers, grabbed my coat and my purse, and snuck out of the house.

All the way to Sean’s, I berated myself. This was ludicrous. I would be giving him the wrong impression. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t.

Despite all my self-talk, I pulled in to his driveway and sat for all of two minutes before walking up his front steps. I rang his doorbell. I could hear Bandit barking before a sleepy Sean opened the front door.

His concern was immediate. “Willa? What’s happened?”

    “I can’t sleep,” I said, fighting back tears. “You said if you could help, you would.”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Do you mean it?” I pleaded, fighting back exhaustion.

“With all my heart. What do you need me to do?”

“Can I…Would you let me sleep with you? Just for tonight. Please.”





CHAPTER 34





Willa


I slowly stirred awake and rolled onto my back. My first thought was that I’d gone the entire night without waking. Then I remembered what I’d done, and where I was. I immediately bolted upright.

I’d gone to Sean, woken him in the middle of the night, and crawled into bed with him. The instant he’d pulled me into his arms, I was out. And I’d slept for…I paused to roll my head and look at the clock.

Nine o’clock. I should have been awake hours ago. I should have opened Bean There. With my pulse shooting toward the sky, I tossed aside the blankets and leaped out of bed. I raced around the bedroom, looking for my clothes before I remembered I’d come in my pajamas and didn’t bring anything more than my coat and purse with me.

    “Willa?” Sean knocked before opening the bedroom door.

“Sean,” I cried in a panic. “I need to get to work, I—”

“I phoned Shirley,” he said, cutting me off. “She’s filling in for you, and so is Joelle. You have the day off.”