A Walk Along the Beach(86)

John leaned his head close to mine. “Shall we?”

“You’re sure about this?” I whispered back.

“I promised Harper.”

“I’d rather wait for a slow dance.”

“Okay.” As far as I was concerned, the longer we delayed, the better.

Sean stared across the table at John with a narrowed look that spoke of concern and displeasure. He couldn’t possibly have known what we were discussing, only that our heads were together. For all intents, it must have looked like we were sharing a private moment, which, in essence, we were.

A couple of songs later, the beat of the music changed to a love song. John stood and extended his hand to me. It was now or never. I took it and rose from my chair.

Sean half rose from his, and then, with gritted teeth, he closed his eyes and sat back down.

John shared a look with me before he led me onto the dance floor. When he turned me into his arms, I was able to look back at the table where Sean sat. His head was bowed as if he found it agonizing to see me in the arms of another man.

“I don’t think your man is very happy with me,” John murmured.

From Sean’s tortured look, I’d say John was right.

The music was slow and sultry. John and I didn’t really dance. We shuffled our feet back and forth and swayed to the beat. When the song ended, I breathed easier. “I hope Harper appreciates this,” I whispered.

    When we returned to the table, Sean was missing. I looked to Dad, who shrugged, offering no explanation.

“Sean left?” John asked my father.

Dad nodded. “Not long after you got to the dance floor.”

John frowned apologetically. “I hope he didn’t get the wrong impression.”

I opened my mouth to say who I danced with was none of Sean’s business, but before I could, Dad said, “I don’t think it could be avoided.” He stretched his arm across the table and locked it around my forearm. His eyes bored into mine.

“Willa, put that poor man out of his misery.”

Not until after the party ended did I consider reaching out to Sean. All the way back to the apartment I told myself who I saw or danced with wasn’t his concern. If only I hadn’t seen how devastated he looked when I left him to dance with John. It was guilt that made me do it. Once I’d changed into my pajamas, I reached for my phone and typed out a text.

I don’t want you to have the wrong impression. I’m not involved with John.

No more than a minute later, my phone rang. Caller ID told me it was Sean. I was tempted to let it go to voicemail, but after the fourth ring, I answered.

“Hello.”

“Why did you dance with him, then?” he asked, anger echoing with each word.

“Sean, have you been drinking?” He slurred just enough for me to know he’d had at least one or two drinks.

“You answer my question and I’ll answer yours.”

“Fine, if that’s the way you want it. I was Harper’s replacement for the evening. There, are you happy?”

    “No.”

“It’s your turn. Answer my question.”

“Yes, but I didn’t reach for the bottle until I got home. There are some occasions that call for it.”

“I told you there’s nothing between us. You believe me, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t know that when I fell into this bottle.”

I’d never known Sean to drink excessively, or at all, for that matter. It troubled me that he would assume there was anything romantic between John and me.

“If you were looking to bring me to my knees or make me jealous, you succeeded beyond your wildest expectations.”

“I wasn’t. I promise.”

“Thank you for that,” he said on the tail end of a sigh.

“Sean?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you for making the effort to be with me tonight.”

“I’ll always do whatever I can to be where you are, Willa. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

I guess I hadn’t.





CHAPTER 33





Willa


The first week of January, I couldn’t bear it any longer and made an appointment with Dr. Annie. This shouldn’t be happening. Bean There was up and running smoothly. I’d made enough in December to pay rent for January and make a small dent in the loan I’d gotten from the bank. Sitting in the exam room, I hated the thought of taking drugs, but I was desperate.

The door opened and Annie walked in, a chart in her hand. She sat on the stool and rolled it closer to me so we were eye level, and then asked, “What seems to be the problem?” I’d already mentioned the issue to the nurse but guessed Dr. Annie wanted to hear it for herself.

“I’m not sleeping…I mean, I do sleep, but never for long.” It was torturous. I didn’t have trouble falling asleep, but then after an hour or two I’d wake and find it impossible to go back to sleep. This had been going on for weeks, ever since we lost Harper, and I was at my wit’s end.

    “Have you ever had anything like this happen before?”

“No, never. It all started, as you might have guessed, since we lost my sister…and a bit before.”