A Tangle of Hearts (A Shade of Vampire #44)(33)

He waited for me to say something, while I tried to decide whether I should fake my surprise or just keep my cool. He tipped his head to one side when I failed to respond.

“You knew,” he concluded.

A different kind of heat engulfed me, burning my ears. I was embarrassed and didn’t know how to get myself out of this one. I had to explain myself to him, before he got any wrong ideas. I hadn’t felt this awkward since I’d realized at the age of seven that all my wolf hair made me very different from the other girls in The Shade.

“Serena overheard you by accident when you were talking about it,” I said slowly, eyes fixed on the dark green tiles on the floor.

He turned the upper half of his body to better face me, and I felt like I was in trouble like that little girl again. A mixture of surprise and amusement drew a faint smile on his face.

I braced myself for whatever he had to say in response.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked.

It occurred to me that my guilt was misplaced, since the only reason why I knew in the first place was because Serena had told me. I took a deep breath and regained my composure.

“It wasn’t my place to say anything, Field.” I looked at him. “I figured you’d say something when you felt ready. There was no point in me being nosy about it. It’s bad enough Serena overheard and told me about it. I had no right to make it worse. Besides, you needed time to cope, to come to terms with the situation. I can only imagine what you’ve been going through, but whatever it is you’re feeling, it’s yours and yours alone to either share or keep to yourself.”

I surprised myself with my emotional wisdom, and, judging by the blank look on his face, I’d surprised him too. Several seconds passed before he reacted. Turquoise flames flared in his eyes as he smiled—a different kind of smile, one I’d never seen directed at me before.

My hands fumbled in my lap, and I puckered my lips nervously, pulling them to one side like a kid. My strength had slipped away from me so quickly that I once again felt all soft inside in front of a man who had been at the center of my affection for as long as I could remember.

“You’ve really changed,” Field replied, his voice reaching new depths.

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“I think I’m looking at you, and I can finally see you for the first time. The real you,” he said. “You’re not the loud little wolf-girl anymore.”

My knees were so weak I was grateful to be sitting down. I smiled and looked away, my eyes wet and my throat parched.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Look at me, Aida.”

My heart stopped again. I did as he asked, holding my breath.

His face was in perfect conjunction with his words; he looked at me differently, like he really was seeing me for the first time. His eyes shifted focus from my eyes to my lips, then further down and back up, blinking slowly.

“I never stopped to consider that even the loud little wolf-girl can grow up and become a strong, beautiful woman.”

My stomach tied itself up in knots. I was unable to look away from him. Something blossomed inside my chest, expanding outward in hot and cold waves, and I chewed on my lower lip again, no longer able to use my brain. What else was there to say?

Field had always been the distant star I’d gravitated around for as long as I could remember. Maura’s presence in his life hadn’t pushed me away, but it had kept me at a safe distance, forcing me to cram my feelings down to the very bottom of my being. Upon hearing the news of their breakup, I’d desperately tried to ignore the glimmer of hope that was making all those muffled emotions scratch back to the surface. I’d kept it under control.

Then, all of a sudden, in that cold basement in Eritopia, in the midst of all the dangers and tragedies unfurling around us, Field sat on a bed next to me and finally acknowledged me as a woman.

Everything I’d kept locked deep inside of me broke free, crashing through the gates and drowning me.





Jovi





[Victoria & Bastien’s son]





A couple of hours into our journey, we had yet to run into any shape-shifters, or any other creatures for that matter. The jungle was thick and dark all around us with gnarly trees reaching out above our heads and obscuring most of the clear, blue sky.

Various critters buzzed and crinkled in the foliage, while an occasional breeze swept over us and tempered the uncomfortable humidity. The road we followed was a battered old trail, previously used by incubi armies to travel between the northern and southern citadels. Shadows rushed through the jungle on both sides, but they kept their distance.

“They won’t come into the light,” Bijarki said, his voice low, as if reading my mind. He must have heard and seen them too. The incubus led the group, a few yards ahead of us, with one of the duffel bags on his shoulder and the crossbow loaded and ready to kill.

I was second in line, with Anjani leaning against me to keep some of the weight off her injured leg. The herbal treatment had fixed most of the damage, but her torn muscles needed a bit more time to fully recover. I didn’t mind, as I was constantly in contact with her warm, voluptuous body. Her eyes twinkled in gold and emerald shards as they scanned our surroundings, crossbow resting on her right shoulder. She tried hard to walk on her own.