A Tangle of Hearts (A Shade of Vampire #44)(32)

I needed to clear my head, and the cool, dark basement was as good a place as any.

I sat on a bed next to Phoenix’s and absentmindedly watched him in his deep sleep. His chest rose with each breath in a slow and stable rhythm, nearly hypnotic. My mind drifted to Field.

I hadn’t seen him since the previous night, before I’d fallen asleep. He’d given me a warm smile, telling me he’d be back before I woke up. Yet, he wasn’t there at dawn. A pang in my stomach reminded me of my longing to see him, to make sure he was okay and that he hadn’t flown into another bunch of shape-shifters overnight.

As if answering my inner pleas, Field emerged from the staircase, and I was unable to move at the sight of him. I watched him walk across the room with wide and heavy steps. His long, black hair was tousled from flight, and his turquoise eyes were fixed on me. I couldn’t read his expression, but I could feel my cheeks burn as he closed the distance between us.

He stopped by Phoenix’s side and looked at him. Concern was etched into his sharp features. His brow furrowed, and his lips forming a tight line.

“How is he doing?” Field asked, his tone low, as if not wanting to wake him up.

“Still sleeping.” I shrugged. “It’s a waiting game now and up to him to wake up.”

He looked up at me, and my heart stopped. Every damn time he shut my system down just by looking at me. It was becoming a struggle to be around him, and yet I couldn’t stop myself from relishing each moment.

“And how are you?” he asked.

I shrugged again, mentally slapping myself for being unable to say more. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I was doing anyway. Physically I was okay, keeping an eye out for any Oracle transition signs, occasionally glancing at myself in reflective surfaces in case more runes decided to play with my mind.

Everything else was a jumble of emotions tossed around inside of me, from missing our parents and The Shade, to worrying about Jovi and my friends in face of the deadly threat of Azazel, his Destroyers, and the jungle wilderness.

The most prominent of these emotions was, however, focused on the man standing in front of me, asking me if I was okay.

Field moved around the bed and came toward me. He stopped in front of me, and I prayed that he didn’t hear my breath hitch at his close proximity.

“Thank you again for what you did yesterday,” he said, his eyes half-closed. “You didn’t have to.”

“Was I supposed to let you die from your wounds?” I replied, my inner wolf feeling playful and snappy, anything to distract me from his devastating effect on me.

“Somehow I don’t think you’re capable of that.” He grinned, two greenish blue gems drilling into my heart. He sat next to me on the bed, and the mattress moved under his weight. His arm brushed against mine, and I tried to hold on to my self-control. I had no comeback.

A few silent moments passed while we both watched over Phoenix.

“It’s been a rough few days. I can only imagine what you must be going through,” Field said, not looking at me.

“I guess it’s a process,” I replied. “Trying to cope as best as I can without flipping out, really. One day at a time, right?”

He nodded. “Nevertheless, you’ve been incredible, Aida.”

I turned my head in surprise and found him looking at me. Heat washed over me, and I felt my heart pounding into my throat. He’d given me a few such candid surprises lately, and I was trying to figure out where they were all coming from.

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit, Field,” I said, my voice so weak I could barely hear myself.

He shook his head. “No, I’m telling it like it is. Your strength and resilience are admirable. You’d be an asset to GASP.”

He’d never been so forthcoming about my GASP potential before, even when I’d spent hours tackling my brother to get GASP’s leaders to consider me for official training and a slot in the organization. I’d spent nights reading through encyclopedias of the supernatural, trying to keep up with the guys on the theoretical side. I’d never given up on the possibility of joining GASP, even when I’d been told I was too young. Because I was half-human, Benjamin and Derek—and my parents, for that matter—wanted me to be a bit older before I made the official leap. That had never stopped me, though. I’d persisted.

Deep inside, I’d always wanted Field to acknowledge me as his equal. I’d yearned to stand beside him, to wear the GASP insignia with pride, and to show him just how strong I was, how far I’d come from the chunky little half-wolf girl.

With a single phrase uttered in the most unexpected moment, Field told me everything I’d imagined hearing for years, and I didn’t know how to react to it.

“I guess I never knew I had it in me, huh?” I quipped lamely, while my inner wolf kicked me.

“Yeah, the best of us comes out in the most difficult situations,” he replied. “Most of us don’t realize how strong we are until we’re faced with something that seems impossible to overcome.”

I nodded, unable to take my eyes off him. Faint shadows flickered over his face as he watched Phoenix. He passed his tongue over his lower lip, then bit into it slowly. I instinctively mimicked his gesture, sinking my teeth into mine until it hurt a little—anything to keep myself under control.

“Maura and I broke up,” Field said, knocking me out of my reverie. It took me a few seconds to process the fact that he’d just said that, and to me of all people. He looked at me again. “This time for good.”