A Tangle of Hearts (A Shade of Vampire #44)(30)

Heat bloomed from my core outwards, sending currents down to my fingertips. I shook my head and noticed the flame had gone out again.

A heavy sigh rumbled out of my chest, carrying the weight of all my dreams and visions with it, leaving behind clear feelings of longing at the thought of Bijarki. Who was I trying to fool?

The future kept bringing us together. My own mind and body had turned against me, pulling me toward him with every chance they got. As closed off as I’d always been, there was no point in denying this any longer.

I was attracted to Bijarki, and—assuming he wasn’t an outright liar, which he’d given me no reason to believe—it seemed to have nothing to do with his seduction tactics. It was all me.

My breath hitched every time our eyes met. I could lose myself in those pools of liquid mercury and deep blue. My skin prickled under his touch—in my visions, in my dreams, and in real life. His military demeanor made him come across as strong and incredibly attractive, on top of what he’d been gifted with by nature.

Why was I fighting so hard against him, against what I felt toward him?

There was no point. Muzzling my emotions was only going to make things worse, as already evidenced by my outburst that morning. Why not give into it? Why not just feel it all?

A different kind of warmth enveloped me. It felt like the air was pouring into me, filling my lungs as I exhaled tremendous amounts of pure relief. A smile lit my face. I looked around. It all seemed brighter, more vibrant and open to me. As if nature was smiling back at me.

I could feel it in the wind, the breeze whispering in my ears. I could smell it in the air, particles of wilderness and soft summer scents. I could feel it in my very soul.

I looked down at the candle. The flame burst back to life all by itself with playful flickers inside the jar. I gasped, overwhelmed with excitement.

I did it!

It hit me then, as I remembered Zerus’s words. He’d told me to let go, encouraging me to live, to love, to open myself up and let everything in. This must have been what he’d meant.

I bent over the jar and placed one hand above it.

Unbelievably simple. Just give in to the feelings, and the fae power comes to life.

I moved my fingers around and watched as the flame followed the motion, more intense and fluid as it swayed and licked at the glass. I raised my hand, and the flame followed, a thin orange thread extending from the wax all the way out of the jar, an inch from my finger.

Happiness engulfed me as I let the flame dim back down and resume its timid burn below.

I’d finally found my answer. If I wanted to command my fae abilities at will, I had to give in to everything I was feeling, allow myself to ride the wave of my emotions whatever they may be, rather than ignore or shut them out.

To become the best version of myself, I had to first be myself.

How proud Zerus would be of me now, I thought with a watery smile. I just wished he and my parents could have been here, standing around me in this moment to see it.





Phoenix





[Hazel & Tejus’s son]





I must be dreaming.

I couldn’t feel anything. I could see and hear, but I had no control over my body. It felt like I was watching a movie in which I was the protagonist. The script had already been written, but I didn’t know where it would take me.

The magnolia tree towered above me in blotches of pale and bubblegum pink framed by a clear blue sky. I saw the plantation house behind me, untouched by time or decay. There was a soft breeze blowing against my face, coming from the dark jungle beyond the swamps. Whispers and lost thoughts traveled along with it, brushing past my ears as if the wilderness was trying to tell me something.

I didn’t know what I was doing there. Just moments earlier I’d been surrounded by bloodthirsty shape-shifters with nothing but the Daughters’ knife to defend myself. The thought of Jovi and the woman he’d been trying to save from the swamp slammed into me.

Where are they?

It all felt like such a long time ago. I worried about him. I worried about myself. I saw my hand rise and reach the back of my head. I’d fallen during my fight with the shape-shifters. Everything had gone dark.

I looked around, but there was no sign of anyone. I wanted to go look for him. Maybe he was still in the swamp. Maybe he’d made it out. Either way my body didn’t listen. I wanted to get angry and fight against it, but I couldn’t even do that.

It was as if something had taken over my limbs and my brain, forcing me to watch whatever it was about to do with me.

I looked down. My boots stood on a bed of fallen magnolia petals. The familiarity of it all ignited me. The Daughter was beneath me, sleeping in her shell deep underground.

Is this a vision?

I had no other choice but to let go of my thoughts and see where it took me. My eyes were fixated on the ground. My boots started to sink in, swallowed by petals the size of my palms. The earth was slowly but surely eating me up.

I should have panicked and tried to claw my way back out, but I had no control over my body and a lingering feeling of knowing where I was being taken.

The world above disappeared as I was engulfed by darkness, dirt, and magnolia tree roots. The roots were a most peculiar shade of red, glowing and pumping life into the sleeping Daughter’s shell. Under normal circumstances I would have suffocated, but here I was still alert.